Feeling: Panicky! In the bedroom
Listening to: The Navy Song by Billy Talent
Days remaining: 8
That's a single digit! I think I am going to die soon. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Like in eight days, which is only one day more than a week. I don't know why. Hmm. *Strokes invisible beard.
But oh, well. I will try to not see you before the 22nd of May, when I supposedly come back to life.
Wish me luck, for I enter the den of the biggest lion I've ever encountered (thus far).
Sunday, 27 April 2008
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
Sunday, 13 April 2008
Tuesday, 8 April 2008
Feeling: Interesting
Listening to: Memories That Fade Like Photographs by All Time Low
Have you noticed a lot of the IB past year papers have been taken off the internet? Seems to be some kind of conspiracy. Next they'll be deleting them off my computer, hahaha. What? I have no past year papers.
If you've recognized an uncommon inconsistency in updates, then you're not a frequent visitor because I've never posted consistently. So, this paragraph is just to let you know that I plan to continue with my inconsistent ways, which means I shall be consistently inconsistent (Oh, my. A paradox). But just out of curiosity, does that make me inconsistent or consistent or just annoying? :D
But in an attempt to remind me how much time I am wasting doing stupid things like this, I shall put an exam countdown in every post I make hereafter, plus this one. Not that I will make posts after this, of course. I mean, it's so close to exams. Ignoring that fact and constantly wasting the few days I have left would make me a bad student. And I would never do that. :p
Days remaining: 27
I have a biology test tomorrow. Which reminds me, I should get back to trying to prepare for that.
Oh, and the song I was going crazy over in the previous post is actually a cover by The Rocket Summer of a song by Counting Crows. So, apologies to any defensive Counting Crows or The Rocket Summer fans I may have offended with my assumptions.
Listening to: Memories That Fade Like Photographs by All Time Low
Have you noticed a lot of the IB past year papers have been taken off the internet? Seems to be some kind of conspiracy. Next they'll be deleting them off my computer, hahaha. What? I have no past year papers.
If you've recognized an uncommon inconsistency in updates, then you're not a frequent visitor because I've never posted consistently. So, this paragraph is just to let you know that I plan to continue with my inconsistent ways, which means I shall be consistently inconsistent (Oh, my. A paradox). But just out of curiosity, does that make me inconsistent or consistent or just annoying? :D
But in an attempt to remind me how much time I am wasting doing stupid things like this, I shall put an exam countdown in every post I make hereafter, plus this one. Not that I will make posts after this, of course. I mean, it's so close to exams. Ignoring that fact and constantly wasting the few days I have left would make me a bad student. And I would never do that. :p
Days remaining: 27
I have a biology test tomorrow. Which reminds me, I should get back to trying to prepare for that.
Oh, and the song I was going crazy over in the previous post is actually a cover by The Rocket Summer of a song by Counting Crows. So, apologies to any defensive Counting Crows or The Rocket Summer fans I may have offended with my assumptions.
Monday, 31 March 2008
Feeling: Wobbly
Listening to: High Life by The Rocket Summer
I'm serious when I say this...
Such a sexy song. And so pretty, too.
High Life by The Rocket Summer
All my friends got flowers in their eyes,
but I got none this season.
All of the last years' blooms have gone and died,
time doesn’t give a reason.
Hey, baby, do you ask yourself sometimes what you need to be forgiven?
You know that everything that you have ever done wrong
is the reason that I am driven
straight to tears.
Waiting here for you,
wanting to tell you
how I get my ends and my beginnings mixed up, too,
just the way you do.
I thought if I told you,
you might want to stay for just another day or two.
Waiting for the trains that just never come,
beginning to believe in
the disappearing nature of the people we have been.
We have begun to change into the worst kind of people;
so unkind.
Oh, apologies. No apologies. This apology,
it doesn't describe the way it feels to feel for you.
Waiting here for you,
wanting to tell you
how I find myself slowly disappearing, too,
just the way you do.
I thought if I told you,
you might want to help me to remain with you.
I just, I just, I just, I just wanna stay for a little while,
I wanna stay for a little while.
Come on, come on, come on, oh.
There's a night life that's just falling down on me,
I just feel like a change.
Beneath the sun in the summer,
a sea of flowers won't bloom without the rain,
but oh, this desert life, this high life,
here at the dying of the day.
See, I wasn't made for this scene, baby,
but I was made in this scene.
And baby, it's just my way.
I don't wanna go home alone;
I wanna come on home to you.
Waiting here for you,
wanting to tell you
how I line my skies with all the silver I can use,
just the way you do.
Thought if I told you,
you might want to stay for just another day or two.
Listening to: High Life by The Rocket Summer
I'm serious when I say this...
Such a sexy song. And so pretty, too.
All my friends got flowers in their eyes,
but I got none this season.
All of the last years' blooms have gone and died,
time doesn’t give a reason.
Hey, baby, do you ask yourself sometimes what you need to be forgiven?
You know that everything that you have ever done wrong
is the reason that I am driven
straight to tears.
Waiting here for you,
wanting to tell you
how I get my ends and my beginnings mixed up, too,
just the way you do.
I thought if I told you,
you might want to stay for just another day or two.
Waiting for the trains that just never come,
beginning to believe in
the disappearing nature of the people we have been.
We have begun to change into the worst kind of people;
so unkind.
Oh, apologies. No apologies. This apology,
it doesn't describe the way it feels to feel for you.
Waiting here for you,
wanting to tell you
how I find myself slowly disappearing, too,
just the way you do.
I thought if I told you,
you might want to help me to remain with you.
I just, I just, I just, I just wanna stay for a little while,
I wanna stay for a little while.
Come on, come on, come on, oh.
There's a night life that's just falling down on me,
I just feel like a change.
Beneath the sun in the summer,
a sea of flowers won't bloom without the rain,
but oh, this desert life, this high life,
here at the dying of the day.
See, I wasn't made for this scene, baby,
but I was made in this scene.
And baby, it's just my way.
I don't wanna go home alone;
I wanna come on home to you.
Waiting here for you,
wanting to tell you
how I line my skies with all the silver I can use,
just the way you do.
Thought if I told you,
you might want to stay for just another day or two.
Feeling: Annoyed
Listening to: The Other Way by Weezer
Ngaaaaaaaaah.
I can't stand it. Please stop pushing me to give up my dreams for something I'd rather not do. Fair enough, you don't do it often, but you do it every chance you get, and frankly, it's gotten to the point where I just want to scream in your face and tell you to back up a little bit. I'm hardly ever sure of what I want, so I'd just really appreciate it if you didn't take this one thing away from me.
Sad to say, but maybe it's time to realize I'm not everything that makes up that little picture of me you have in your head. Maybe one day; some time in the distant future, possibly. Just not now; not when I have the world at my fingertips, ready for me to discover and then explore; not when everything is beautiful, and I aim to use all opportune moments only for the chance to grasp beauty by the hand and embrace it as much as a I can.
I hope you understand.
And by the way, something amazing (if you noticed, I have a strange inconceivable fascination with this word, but I don't think you did) has happened. ♥
Listening to: The Other Way by Weezer
Ngaaaaaaaaah.
I can't stand it. Please stop pushing me to give up my dreams for something I'd rather not do. Fair enough, you don't do it often, but you do it every chance you get, and frankly, it's gotten to the point where I just want to scream in your face and tell you to back up a little bit. I'm hardly ever sure of what I want, so I'd just really appreciate it if you didn't take this one thing away from me.
Sad to say, but maybe it's time to realize I'm not everything that makes up that little picture of me you have in your head. Maybe one day; some time in the distant future, possibly. Just not now; not when I have the world at my fingertips, ready for me to discover and then explore; not when everything is beautiful, and I aim to use all opportune moments only for the chance to grasp beauty by the hand and embrace it as much as a I can.
I hope you understand.
And by the way, something amazing (if you noticed, I have a strange inconceivable fascination with this word, but I don't think you did) has happened. ♥
Monday, 24 March 2008
Sunday, 23 March 2008
Feeling: Strange
Listening to: Cat And Mouse by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Looks like I still have a bunch of weirdos reading Broken Smile.
If you came to this here website by searching for the following phrases, I hereby pronounce you actually kind of disgusting:
I love this song.
Am I supposed to be happy?
Listening to: Cat And Mouse by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Looks like I still have a bunch of weirdos reading Broken Smile.
If you came to this here website by searching for the following phrases, I hereby pronounce you actually kind of disgusting:
- brokensmile+naked
- fuck mammy in bath
- granny mammy sex
- palir brunei
I love this song.
Am I supposed to be happy?
Sunday, 16 March 2008
Feeling: Inspired
Listening to: Sugar Skulls by Envy On The Coast
This band is cool. As in so cool I had to mention them. Which is very quite rather cool. The kind of cool that makes you stop whatever you're doing just so you can pay their music the attention they deserve. But then, I guessss there could be the possibility that you're even cooler than me, so you won't find Envy On The Coast cool at all, in which case, whoooopsie. :]
I watched Horton Hears A Who yesterday, and it is amazingly philosophical. I kept thinking of my TOK presentation (because when I talk to myself I am smarter and way nerdier than I am in real life), and I couldn't help but feel tiny and more than awesomely intrigued. We could be living on a speck in a field of flowers in someone else's world somewhere, and it's quite disturbing to realize because we'll never actually know unless we do what they did in the movie and get everyone in the world to shout "We are here," but considering what's going on right now, and how we've gotten ourselves into some deep shit over the years, I think finding out if we are on a speck is the least of our worries. :]
So, Dr. Seuss inspired me and now I want to write a book. Or at least an essay on the matter of something I'm not going to say because I don't want to, though I suppose it has something to do with the movie. :D But as I was saying, I tried to write. There was just no way I could say what I feel about everything in words. Which is stupid because I thought that was the one thing I could do. Man, I wish I could be a philosopher and study everything that could be possibly so; find some kind of understanding about the incomprehensible, but generally accepted; find that bit in my soul that seems to be missing.
Buuuuut I guess that's only a probability if I were amazing. Which I'm not, but wish I was.
Smile.
Listening to: Sugar Skulls by Envy On The Coast
This band is cool. As in so cool I had to mention them. Which is very quite rather cool. The kind of cool that makes you stop whatever you're doing just so you can pay their music the attention they deserve. But then, I guessss there could be the possibility that you're even cooler than me, so you won't find Envy On The Coast cool at all, in which case, whoooopsie. :]
I watched Horton Hears A Who yesterday, and it is amazingly philosophical. I kept thinking of my TOK presentation (because when I talk to myself I am smarter and way nerdier than I am in real life), and I couldn't help but feel tiny and more than awesomely intrigued. We could be living on a speck in a field of flowers in someone else's world somewhere, and it's quite disturbing to realize because we'll never actually know unless we do what they did in the movie and get everyone in the world to shout "We are here," but considering what's going on right now, and how we've gotten ourselves into some deep shit over the years, I think finding out if we are on a speck is the least of our worries. :]
So, Dr. Seuss inspired me and now I want to write a book. Or at least an essay on the matter of something I'm not going to say because I don't want to, though I suppose it has something to do with the movie. :D But as I was saying, I tried to write. There was just no way I could say what I feel about everything in words. Which is stupid because I thought that was the one thing I could do. Man, I wish I could be a philosopher and study everything that could be possibly so; find some kind of understanding about the incomprehensible, but generally accepted; find that bit in my soul that seems to be missing.
Buuuuut I guess that's only a probability if I were amazing. Which I'm not, but wish I was.
Smile.
"Why did you knock?" I asked. "Why don't you just tear my world to pieces instead?" - Blood Canticle by Anne Rice
Saturday, 8 March 2008
Feeling: Tummyachey
I moved the post that was here to here. Just because it seems that's where it belongs. :]
I moved the post that was here to here. Just because it seems that's where it belongs. :]
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Feeling: Lovely
in·ter·view /ˈɪntərˌvyu/
–noun
So horrible that I don't want to go to that university anymore nor do I want to go to university at all. I just want to die. :] That's all.
Stupid dreams. Getting vulnerable and susceptible of being crushed like that. Pssh.
By the way, have I mentioned that for more-than-adequate reasons, I have abandoned all hope and faith in humanity and everything attached to it, from our white picket fences to our inability to connect with each other?
I had something else also very pessimistic and misanthropic to say, but I chose not to hurt your eyes too much from the damage the light from the screen causes. So, instead, I shall leave you now in a mysterious puff of purple smoke.
in·ter·view /ˈɪntərˌvyu/
–noun
- A formal meeting in which one or more persons question, consult, or evaluate another person.
So horrible that I don't want to go to that university anymore nor do I want to go to university at all. I just want to die. :] That's all.
Stupid dreams. Getting vulnerable and susceptible of being crushed like that. Pssh.
By the way, have I mentioned that for more-than-adequate reasons, I have abandoned all hope and faith in humanity and everything attached to it, from our white picket fences to our inability to connect with each other?
I had something else also very pessimistic and misanthropic to say, but I chose not to hurt your eyes too much from the damage the light from the screen causes. So, instead, I shall leave you now in a mysterious puff of purple smoke.
Sunday, 2 March 2008
Feeling: Mean
Listening to: Risque by Cute Is What We Aim For
My, my. Isn't this awkward?
You know what would make it even more awkward? If I told you how sometimessssss I wish things weren't the way they are. And wow, my tenses are all messed up, but the thing in my head that helps me think is so non-existant right now that I can't even tell if it's right or wrong or just confusing.
But, hello. Take a pill.
Like I said, I wish things didn't have to be the way they are.
Oh, and I have a confession to make.
You know how at the top of most posts it tells you what I'm listening to?
Well.
Sometimes.
I'm not actually listening to music.
So.
What I type down are the songs that are playing in my head.
Hehehehehehehehe. :D
Listening to: Risque by Cute Is What We Aim For
My, my. Isn't this awkward?
You know what would make it even more awkward? If I told you how sometimessssss I wish things weren't the way they are. And wow, my tenses are all messed up, but the thing in my head that helps me think is so non-existant right now that I can't even tell if it's right or wrong or just confusing.
But, hello. Take a pill.
Like I said, I wish things didn't have to be the way they are.
Oh, and I have a confession to make.
You know how at the top of most posts it tells you what I'm listening to?
Well.
Sometimes.
I'm not actually listening to music.
So.
What I type down are the songs that are playing in my head.
Hehehehehehehehe. :D
Friday, 22 February 2008
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Feeling: Strange
I was supposed to watch a movie on Thursday, but oh, my God, there were no good movies to watch, and the only ones remotely decent were showing in the morning (Actually, I lie. I suspect Sweeny Todd is more than just remotely decent (And I know, I should have seen it already, but sadly, that would be wishful thinking), but for drama's sake, let me continue), which isn't very cool. But anyway, I went out nonetheless, and I noticed the many heart-shaped things around. And all that red and pink. And flowers. And people holding hands.
What the hell?!
It's Single Thursday, and these people have nothing better to do than remind us that we're alone and probably meant to be that way. And then I see these signs saying "Happy Valentine's Day!" as if they don't know it's Single Thursday. I mean, really... "Valentine's Day"? I'm sure they could have come up with a better lie than that. Who would be so stupid as to actually believe in this "Valentine's Day" anyway? Nice try, society. Just try harder next time, okay? Everyone knows there's no such thing as "Valentine's Day". Could have fooled me, but I'm too smart for that (Hahahaha). ;D
And so, to you I say, "Pssssssssssh."
By the way, (and I know this is well overdue) Happy Single Thursday!
This post has lots of brackets. Yayyy.
Some people would say I'm in denial, but come on. It's me. I live to not be in denial. :D :D :D :D
I was supposed to watch a movie on Thursday, but oh, my God, there were no good movies to watch, and the only ones remotely decent were showing in the morning (Actually, I lie. I suspect Sweeny Todd is more than just remotely decent (And I know, I should have seen it already, but sadly, that would be wishful thinking), but for drama's sake, let me continue), which isn't very cool. But anyway, I went out nonetheless, and I noticed the many heart-shaped things around. And all that red and pink. And flowers. And people holding hands.
What the hell?!
It's Single Thursday, and these people have nothing better to do than remind us that we're alone and probably meant to be that way. And then I see these signs saying "Happy Valentine's Day!" as if they don't know it's Single Thursday. I mean, really... "Valentine's Day"? I'm sure they could have come up with a better lie than that. Who would be so stupid as to actually believe in this "Valentine's Day" anyway? Nice try, society. Just try harder next time, okay? Everyone knows there's no such thing as "Valentine's Day". Could have fooled me, but I'm too smart for that (Hahahaha). ;D
And so, to you I say, "Pssssssssssh."
By the way, (and I know this is well overdue) Happy Single Thursday!
This post has lots of brackets. Yayyy.
Some people would say I'm in denial, but come on. It's me. I live to not be in denial. :D :D :D :D
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
Feeling: Anxious
Listening to: The Behavior Explains by The Brothers Martin
I don't know if I owe anyone an apology, but if I do, there you go.
I think everyone's just waiting for February to be over, so we can move passed Single Thursday and the annoyingly looming due dates, but I think I want to curl up in a ball and hiss at anyone that comes within the five meter radius I'll have to draw in with chalk, instead of succumbing to the humanity that I've so long ago given up on. But, you know, I guess that would be kind of stupid seeing as it'd mean I fail the course. Which I don't want to happen.
Right?
Xing nian kuai le, by the way, 'cause I speak Chinese. Hahahah. Not really, but I think I do an alright job at pretending I do. And did I mention Malay class is really super boring? Well, it is.
Actually, I think I just want this whole thing to be over. :]
PS: Have you no shame?
Listening to: The Behavior Explains by The Brothers Martin
I don't know if I owe anyone an apology, but if I do, there you go.
I think everyone's just waiting for February to be over, so we can move passed Single Thursday and the annoyingly looming due dates, but I think I want to curl up in a ball and hiss at anyone that comes within the five meter radius I'll have to draw in with chalk, instead of succumbing to the humanity that I've so long ago given up on. But, you know, I guess that would be kind of stupid seeing as it'd mean I fail the course. Which I don't want to happen.
Right?
Xing nian kuai le, by the way, 'cause I speak Chinese. Hahahah. Not really, but I think I do an alright job at pretending I do. And did I mention Malay class is really super boring? Well, it is.
Actually, I think I just want this whole thing to be over. :]
PS: Have you no shame?
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
Feeling: It's about time I went to bed
Listening to: Suffocating Under Words Of Sorrow by Bullet For My Valentine
Turns out Business class can be quite productive after all.
Sort of. :]
Weakness or Strength?
Anger.
The fiery demon that eats your soul,
sends you spiraling,
makes you want to explode,
destroying yourself and everything else,
biting at your insides,
urging you to shout.
Fight.
Scream.
Ward off whoever tries to "help",
whoever pretends to care,
giving an absolutely appropriate cause
to slide that blade cross his throat,
to lodge that screwdriver into his head,
to pull that trigger with no regret,
leaving little room for guilt,
and no reason for remorse.
Or apologies.
But me?
I'm sorry.
You know how it is.
Listening to: Suffocating Under Words Of Sorrow by Bullet For My Valentine
Turns out Business class can be quite productive after all.
Sort of. :]
Anger.
The fiery demon that eats your soul,
sends you spiraling,
makes you want to explode,
destroying yourself and everything else,
biting at your insides,
urging you to shout.
Fight.
Scream.
Ward off whoever tries to "help",
whoever pretends to care,
giving an absolutely appropriate cause
to slide that blade cross his throat,
to lodge that screwdriver into his head,
to pull that trigger with no regret,
leaving little room for guilt,
and no reason for remorse.
Or apologies.
But me?
I'm sorry.
You know how it is.
Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Feeling: Really tired
I feel like running away and joining the circus.
Sometimes I wonder whether I hurt people. I'm sure I do/did, and I'm sorry; my eyes can't deal with this at the moment.
Who the hell knows if the truth exists or not anyway?
Cut off all loose ties and bleed for days. Who could stand veins with friends like these?
I feel like running away and joining the circus.
Sometimes I wonder whether I hurt people. I'm sure I do/did, and I'm sorry; my eyes can't deal with this at the moment.
Who the hell knows if the truth exists or not anyway?
Cut off all loose ties and bleed for days. Who could stand veins with friends like these?
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