Why does peanut butter taste so good? :O

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 10

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: Kapoosh
Listening to: Blow It Away by Adema

This is for Azmin, and Azmin, as you can tell, the title stayed, hahahaha.

Talk of Miracles and Things
Dim light fills the darkest spaces,
and I see flickering beauty ahead.

The heart that was pulled from your chest now
lies clutched in your hands,
it is bruised and dripping blood
into a big, wet, crimson puddle.

Many times, I have tried to
fit it back into its place -
into that gaping hole that
flaps flesh in the breeze.
Many times I have tried to
heal those terrifying wounds
and keep you forever free from
the pain you never earned.

But of those many times I tried,
each time I only failed.
The cancer in me spread, yet
it was only you who could remove it.
And your wounds grew even more.
I had no wings to fly, yet
it was only you who held me high.
And your wounds grew even more.

And so, many more times I shall try again,
and many more times I may fail.
Your wounds may grow even more,
but justice will eventually prevail.

It is one thing to repeat a kindness
but to give what you never had...

That is nothing short of a miracle.
Everyday, you are a miracle.
I feel like I have been a horrible friend, and I admit, I often get caught up in my own world where nothing makes sense and I go crazy. So, here I am asking for forgiveness and perhaps a second chance at proving I can actually be kind of a little bit cool (Not naturally, only artificially and I take my tea with milk and sugar, please). Ahem. Would you like to be my friend? :]

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 10

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: Crazy
Listening to: Just Like Heaven by The Cure

I am sleepy, but I just wanted to tell you that I realise I should get back to wishing I was cool instead of wishing the world wasn't so horrible. :D Don't worry, it makes sense in my head. Hahaha.

Look what I did!

Were you ever a Boy or Girl Scout?
No, I was not.
What are your thoughts on dinosaurs?
Hmm. I don't know, man. I don't think about them that often, but I'm pretty sure that nobody alive knows for certain what they truly looked like or ate, everything we know about them is just based on theory and logic, and you all know how flawed that can be.
When was the last time you made/ate a s'more?
Some time last year. I want one now. Stupid survey.
If you were plotting world domination, what's the first thing you'd do?
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. I am so not going to answer this question and give away my awesome plan. You thought you had me fooled, didn't you, survey?
Do you ever feel like everyone is out to get you?
I don't do drugs. :p
Did you think monsters were hiding in your room when you were young?
No, I was just afraid of the lizards on the walls, hahah.
Do you watch the news or keep up with current events?
I didn't used to, and I still don't, but I'm better than I was before. :D
What kinds of presents did the Tooth Fairy leave you?
I wasn't lucky enough to have a tooth fairy. I think I was too ugly. :[
How do you eat your Oreo's?
I just bite them. It seems weird to separate them.
Do you donate your old clothes to Goodwill? If not, what do you do w/them?
I keep them in this big set of drawers at home, and sometimes, I go looking through them in hopes of finding something magical and maybe if I'm lucky, a little pixie dust.
If you were a crayon, what would you want to color?
Your face.
Don't you hate when you're eating a popsicle & suddenly taste wooden stick?
I don't usually taste wooden stick. I am immune to this defect. Unfortunate humans. Mahahahaaa.
When's the last time you used sidewalk chalk?
Does it have to be sidewalk chalk precisely? 'Cause I don't know if I ever used sidewalk chalk for writing on the sidewalk or just ordinary chalk. Is there a real difference anyway? Hmm. Now, that is something to think about. You do that while I think about peanut butter.
How would you feel about Billy Madison being in your class?
I thought he already graduated. So, I suppose I would be wondering what happened. Having said that, I don't believe he went to university, or maybe he did. Who knows, really? Who. Knows.
What time were you born?
I don't know anymore. You make me question myself. :'[
Estimate. About how many spam e-mails do you get each day?
Hahahaha. I thought that said sperm. To answer your question, I get hundreds. So, I shall estimate approximately perhaps 142, I guess.
The last movie you fell asleep while attempting to watch was:
I think it was a documentary on suicide. Anyway, it was some kind of movie I watched with Azmin 'cause I know I fell asleep on him because that's the only place to fall asleep when watching a movie.
Have you ever done any volunteer work? What was it?
Is it still volunteer work if you kind of had to do it? If yes, then I "beautified" a rural primary school in Malaysia, helped with the Brunei Open 2007, was a kitchen hand at a retirement home in New Zealand, and rescued people from burning buildings around the world everyday for twelve weeks. I am a wonderful human being. :]
Would you feel like a total loser if you couldn't find a job?
I guess. But come on, me? Loser? Psssssh.
Have you ever used the word "password" as a password?
No. But I always thought it was funny how when you entered your password into MSN wrongly and it said "Password is incorrect," so I typed in "incorrect" and it was still wrong. Hahahahaaaaa. Totally related.
Do you miss the Taco Bell chihuahua?
I did not ever get to experience Taco Bell, even less so the Taco Bell chihuahua. So, I suppose my answer is very much. I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how lovely it was.
Have you ever taken an IQ test? What was your score?
Yes, I've taken a few just because I'm narcissistic and cocky and bored. I thiink I got a 142 for the last test I took, but I'm pretty sure I just made that number up.
When you open your closet door, does a bunch of junk fall out?
No, but it probably would if I were still in Brunei. :D
Do you think Blu-Ray will take over DVD's, like DVD's did to VHS?
And like CD's did to Vinyl? And like MP3's did to CD's? Honey, this is all to do with capitalism and as such, commercialism. So, if the big production companies want to get rid of all the DVD's and replace them with Blu-Ray, then they are going to do it and we have no choice but to adhere. And because capitalists only want to make money, I say the answer is yes. Even though it would result in a huge amount of e-Waste toxic to the environment.
What do you think is the longest movie you have ever seen?
Titanic, but then again, I don't remember watching it. I think there's a more recent long movie, but I don't remember what that was. So, basically, my memory is failing me and I am old.
Have you been to a wedding where the couple ended up NOT getting married?
Only in my dreams where there are rainbows and butterflies.
When do you think Disney will stop squeezing out teen pop sensations?
Ahahahaha. Never. Or maybe when the young generation die out and mothers give birth to old people. Disney is a big corporation important to the structure of capitalist society. They can sell you anything, and since "teen pop sensations" are so easy to produce, why stop?
Have you ever driven a forklift?
Ohhh, I want to. I would drive it to class everyday and everyone will look at me in envy. It'll be a real "pussy wagon" and I shall call it Greased Lightning.
Do you call trees "naked" in the wintertime?
Hehehehehe. Well, they areeee. So very nekked.
Have you ever talked to a counselor/therapist? Did he/she help you?
Although there were times I felt that I should, I have never.
If you got pulled over, would you try and get out of the ticket? How?
Depends what I am being pulled over for. If I really didn't think I did anything wrong, then I would not want to go down just because some stupid power-tripping police officer says so. But if I clearly broke the law, then I shall take responsibility for my actions and accept the consequences.
Do you put more sugar than the recommended amount in your Kool-Aid?
I don't drink Kool-Aid. And frankly, I don't understand a drink that is made up of powdery sugar stuff and yet, still needs sugar to be added to it.
Have you read the Kurt Cobain journals?
No. OKAY. I GET IT. I'M A LOSER.
When was the last time you played in a monstrous ball pit?
I'm sorry, but what is thaaaaaaaaaaaaat? And how do I get one of these "monstrous balls"? :D
If you wrote a blog right now, what would you rant about?
How you are a bitch. :]
Have you ever fallen off of a treadmill?
I really want to though. One of my life ambitions.
Does your house make weird creeky noises at night?
Nope, no hardwood floors over here only cold cement ones. :O
Can you make out constellations in the stars?
Oh, I am very bad at doing that. I have a skewed view of the world, you see.
Do your grandparents know how to use computers?
My famous grandmother thought the computer was connected to non-existant cameras at the back of the house to spy on people. So, I somehow don't believe they do.
Any last words?
No.

I don't know when the last time I did one of these was... Hahahaha. Here's to old rituals! *Holds up wine glass.

Days remaining (a): 5
Days remaining (b): 11

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: Because by Across The Universe Cast

I just realised that "lush" is short for "luscious". Hahahahahahahahaha.

You kids and your shortening of words just to confuse us old people. *Waves hand dismissively.

Days remaining (a): 10
Days remaining (b): 16

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: Insane
Listening to: Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper

I was bored in one of my lectures today, and so, here is a video:


I think I could make a career out of this; become one of those Youtube stars. I've got some script-writing to do! Sally and me, we're gonna be huuuuuuuge.

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 17

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

I just realised I hadn't posted up my timetable for this term yet! :D It is so much fun, so here it is:

Monday:
11:10-13:00 | Representations | Law 2.27
13:10-14:00 | Introduction to Media Communication | Psychology 1.05

Tuesday:
11:10-12:00 | Introduction to Media Communication | Law 0.22

Wednesday:
10:00-10:50 | Representations seminar | Bute 1.27
11:10-13:00 | Media, Power, Society | Bute 1.xx

Thursday:
15:10-16:00 | Introduction to Media Communication seminar | Optometry 1.08

Friday:
10:00-10:50 | Media, Power, Society seminar | Bute 1.26

Days remaining (a): 12
Days remaining (b): 18

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: New
Listening to: Many Funerals by Eisley

Last year, I called the 14th of February Single Thursday and I looked in disgust at the soppy displays of romance and love and everything red and wonderful. 2009, however, is a new year, and I have but one message for only one person (or also for whoever wants it to be for them as well because you are lonely):


But aside from that, I feel like I owe you, the people of the internet, a more fulfilling and valuable contribution to the world. Something that will actually matter and perhaps bring us closer to beating the capitalist system we live in, eliminating the obvious inequality between people of different standards of living.

However, as I type this today, I get the feeling that we are not meant to do that. Men cannot change the world and Armageddon will inevitably come and in the morning, the grass will be green and the sky, blue. We will smile and think what a wonderful day it is, forgetting everything that seemed even remotely important the day before.

I once dreamed of changing the world. Now, it seems as if that concept is growing further and further away from possible by the minute. By the shovelful, we are digging this hole as big as we can and though there are times someone kicks the dirt back in, I don't know if I can do anything about it anymore.

I wish I had something nice to tell you. :] And, as it turns out, I do. So, I shall tell you the tale of the Leaf Outside My Window. What a lovely day!

Sally looked outside of her bedroom window and stared at the trees shivering in the cold. Autumn was here and it threatened to steal all of the leaves from their branches. Watching one of the few leaves still clinging onto life as it danced in the breeze, Sally thought about how sad it was that no matter how hard that leaf tried to stay on that branch, it would inevitably fall to the ground like so many had before it. As if that wasn't enough, she thought about how sad it was that all the leaves that once kept this tree warm and beautiful would simply be left on the ground, waiting to be trampled on by unsuspecting humans and then forgotten about as they rot on the ground, returning to the earth and completing the vicious cycle of life.

Hours merged into days and those days into months, Autumn had come and gone and now, it was Winter's turn. As the snow fell and began to cover everything in a beautiful, purifying, white blanket, Sally looked out of her window like she had so many days ago, and focusing on what seemed to be a naked branch, she spotted a leaf - a leaf that, despite the wind and the snow and the hail and the rain, had managed to stay with that branch and perhaps, make that tree feel a little bit less lonely than it would have. Sally smiled as she thought about how silly she had been to think that everything was destined for destruction and that the world was full of emptiness and too many things that come to an end. Sally thought about how wonderful it was that there was still hope in the world, and she knew that that was something to be happy about.

If you were wondering, Sally is indeed synonymous with me. :]

I think I just typed out a post that contradicts itself multiple times and that, coincidentally, symbolises myself today. Yay! Everything is circular (Hahahahahaha, oh, don't pretend you don't know what I mean).

I hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day, and if you didn't, don't worry too much. There is more to life than counting how many Valentine's Days you can stay single or friendless, or unappreciative of days with names (other than Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday), or so it seems. :]

(Today, I like the word, wonderful. It also took me an hour to type this. Sexy, isn't it?)

Feeling: Achy
Listening to: Battle For Middle Earth by Air Show Disaster

124 more days until...

You'll have to wait and see. :]

Feeling: Incriminating
Listening to: My Waltz For Newk by Iain Ballamy

I made a video!


In other news, it is sad when the snow melts.

Oh, and Happy Chinese New Year. Mine is/was happy. :p But I could be lying. Can you call my bluff? Answer now by calling 0800-DO-MOOSE-LIE and stand a chance to win an XBox 360 plus many more amazing items!

Listening to: Blackbird by The Beatles

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise. Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free. Blackbird, fly. Blackbird, fly into the light of the dark black night.

Touché.

Feeling: Sad
Listening to: Talk by Coldplay

I'm contemplating gradually turning this into a meaningful and inspirational rush of words, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. But not to fear, for I have a back-up plan! And it is an amazing back-up plan because it involves a bowl of fruit, some sheep, a little fire, and the best part, meeee.

But before that, I am sad because the weekend is over. I hate weekends because they have the ability to finish, and they are so much shorter than weekstarts. I don't have hot chocolate which means I can't drink coffee and that, along with the possibility of the modules being semi-boring, explains why I found myself falling asleep in lectures last week which makes my dislike for weekends grow even more. Furthermore, I waste a lot of time on weekends and that doesn't really help with my hating of the weekends very much either. But my hatred for weekstarts is greater. And they creep up on me every week right after weekends and it is just awful because I have to live through them to get to the weekends which are bad themselves, but not nearly as horrible as weekstarts.

Yes, I made up that word, weekstarts. But isn't it awesome?! :D And yes, I am feeling particularly bitter today and I may just as well have chosen weekends as my personal scapegoat.

Now, was there anything else I was meant to say or do? Okay, then. On with what's left of the weekend!