Feeling: Lazy
Listening to: Chariot by Escape The Fate

Today, when I got back from my lecture at 1:30PM, I sat in front of my laptop with the intention of beginning my Communication essay. It is now 1:49AM, and I have basically accomplished nothing. I am sleepy and my eyes are finding it rather difficult to stay open. I've opened up my Word Document and stared at it for a while, thinking that now's the time I start, but of course I don't. I don't know how to start it, and that makes me Google "how to begin essay on advertising" or "how to write university essay", but all I got were those websites where you pay them to write your essay. I began to think it was a sign, that maybe I should accept their offer and just take the easy road, as they often call it.

WHEN SUDDENLY!

A beam of light shone through my window and the next thing I knew, I was in China. Surrounded by thousands of busy Chinese people, the only thing I could do was go in the direction of the crowd, and that's what I did. Strangely enough, I ended up in a gorgeous rural village in Greece. It was beautiful, but the people there couldn't understand my accent, whatever that is.

I should stop now because I just realised that I am procrastinating yet again and still not doing my essay. AHHHHH. I will be my own demise.

That means, of course, that this amazing tale will have to be one of those annoying ones you find ending with "To be continued..." only to discover in the most tragic way possible that they never will.

Today's question to consider: Who am I?

Days remaining (a) and (b): 26

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Could I be any more stupid? Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 31

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Annoyed
Listening to: Away From You by The O.C. Supertones

I have never wished Broken Smile a happy birthday before because I always forgot about it. I thought this year would be different, having actually looked for the date this time, but alas, I am two days too late, hahahaha. That wasn't very funny.

Anyway, fucking cunt bitch asshole shit dickface boob. :[

This should cheer you up (by you I mean me):

"I always cook my faggots ahead and then warm them up when I wish to eat them. This allows the flavours to intensify and makes the faggots richer." - Click

Last week, I learnt that faggot is a Welsh food. Hehehehehe. Rhyfeddol (I Googled that. It is Welsh for "wonderful")!

Lord, I just don't understand this strange creature you call man.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 31

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Funny
Listening to: So Contagious by Acceptance

Well, that was weird.

I was reading Stuart Hall's work on "Othering" for my Representations seminar on Wednesday, and I figured it was probably time I went to Tesco, just to get that grocery shopping off the list of things to do. Now, the weird thing about it was that I spent a while wriggling the cursor around the screen, trying to find the pause button. Then, I stopped and thought "What am I doing? Why am I trying to pause my reading?" Hahahahahaaaaaaaa. So, that was weird. :] Maybe it symbolises my need to stop life for a while, take a deep breath, and then push play as I jump back in? Maybe even fastforward or rewind a little? :D Ey? Eyyy?

It seemed like a better idea to complicate things than to just say outright that I am a little cuckoo (pronounced kooh-kooh), but I don't know, what do you think? :]

Days remaining (a) and (b): 42

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Snorey
Listening to: From Crib To Coffin by Emery

Today, I reached a new level in my long and twisted relationship with toothpaste. :]

Having already experienced the wonders toothpaste can do to a person's eyes (numerous times), today, for some reason unknown to me (probably planned by the cupid and his love minions), I decided I was too lazy to put my toothbrush down when I wanted to fix my ponytail. I had just graced my toothbrush with that wonderful smooth, white, minty paste, so when I pulled my hand back down to brush my teeth, I noticed something was amiss and thought "I had more toothpaste on this before." I couldn't see anything in my hair or on my clothes, so I figured today is merely the day I decide to put a little less toothpaste on my toothbrush than usual. :]

If only that were the case.

About a few many hours pass, and I figure I'm going to go to bed soon and my head hurts, so it is time to untie my hair.

Lets just say, there was a beautiful chunk of toothpaste in my hair.

Hahahahahahaha (They say it is good to be able to laugh at yourself).

So, anyway, the bottom line is: My hair feels funny and I am now going to have a late night shower.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 43

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Mystical
Listening to: Black 7 by Soil

I realised I say "Don't worry" alot. Why do I do that? Hmm. Let's look at this in more detail, shall we?

First, we should look at the context in which I use this phrase. Research shows that the most common situations where the said phrase is utilised as a reaction is one where I am joking, or when people come to me for help. I joke more frequently than people come to me for help, so it seems appropriate that we concentrate on this "joke" area for now.

So, the question is: why do I say "Don't worry" in this joking way? Could it be that I am trying to hide the seriousness of the saying by covering it up with virtual laughter, or the typings of "Haha" and et cetera? If I am hiding something, what is it I am hiding? Is it more important that I am hiding something or the nature of what I am hiding?

To answer these questions in the amount of depth we need, we should look at two things:

(a) What am I hiding?

1. The fact that I have no better response.
2. The idea that there actually is something to worry about.
3. Aliens are watching us.

(b) Why am I hiding it?

1. I am ashamed.
2. It has become a commodity to me and so I did not know what else to react with.
3. I could not be bothered to think of a better response.
4. God told me to do so.

This is assuming, of course, that I am hiding something at all. So, if I am not hiding something, then we are back at the initial question of why I say "Don't worry" alot.

Reasons for this could include:

1. I am a robot and that is the panic phrase my creators gave me.
2. I am a superhero in a comic book and/or cartoon and that is my catchphrase.
3. I am actually just reminding myself not to worry because I am a chronic pessimist.
4. Everyone needs encouragement every now and then.

And so ends this investigation. Therefore, the reason as to why I say "Don't worry" in extremely high dosages is inconclusive until further research has been undertaken. Now, have a cupcake.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 44

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Gooey

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Sally (I hate it when people do that):


I think she needed to pee. Oh, and this is why she had that makeover. She's gunn' be a starrrr.

(Indeed, I have posted this on Youtube, Facebook and now, here. But only because I don't think Sally gets enough exposure and despite the rumours, she's a bit of an attention seeker. True story (I also hate it when people say this).)

(I only hate because I am jealous and try too hard to not be cliché when really, it's all I am made of. *Bows head down in shame. Weeeeee (I enjoy the fun using brackets creates).)

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 48

(a) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity
(b) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay

Feeling: Squiggly
Listening to: Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

It is nearly Broken Smile's fifth year of existing and I can gratefully say that since my first writing about how I didn't suit Livejournal, I have changed. To me, that change is rather apparent, but especially in the embarrassingly naïve and probably too-overtly-emotional-to-be-honest way I wrote, things I spoke of and manner of thinking.

There have been times when I wanted to get rid of this thing, change my URL, and delete all my old posts, but I stuck by its' side. There are probably millions of reasons why I have done so, but maybe one reason is because however stupid I have been (and I have been very, very, very, very, very, very stupid), I realise I have to come to terms with that - that I have been stupid - and there isn't anything I can do to erase what has happened (except perhaps get that time machine working).

Admittedly, I am extremely ashamed of some of the things I have done, but no amount of virtual editing or deleting can really get rid of the truth of what happened. I might not remember it as clear, and I may exaggerate things, or leave bits out, but floating somewhere amidst all that is the truth, and I think I like it floating aimlessly around like that. :] It's how I am.

I am just floating around, among all the other specks of dust caught in the wind, sometimes getting stuck in strands of hair or threads off clothes, but essentially, not knowing where I am going or where I want to go, only that I've attached myself to another and rather beautiful piece of lint, with no intention of ever letting go. ♥

Change can be good.

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 48

(a) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity
(b) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay

(Perhaps my days have been reduced to merely a list of countdowns. :p)