Feeling: Invalid
Listening to: A World So Cold by Mudvayne
It was magic while it lasted.
It is not your fault.
Wednesday 11 January 2012
Feeling: Nondescript
It appears I have reached a new level in the colourful relationship I have with my grandmother.
Last night, I went to bed the earliest I've gone to bed in ages. I was determined to give myself a good night's rest, and I was pretty confident nothing would get in the way of that. I would get 7 and a half hours of uninterrupted sleep, and I'd have time to eat breakfast, drink a cup of coffee, scan some important documents, and maybe even put the washing on the line.
But as fate would have it, of course that wasn't going to happen.
Instead, I was rudely awakened at 3 in the morning by a very livid (and very mobile - looks like her hip has healed nicely) grandmother armed with a hard, plastic hanger, shouting angry words at me while she attempted to beat me to death.
I did not realise there was a need to lock my bedroom door at night. Now, I know. Now, my head, arms and legs all know - for a story she created in her mind.
The real sad thing is that I have no fucking clue who this Madam Teo is. Who is the lady who raised my mum and taught music lessons at Chung Hwa Middle School?
I'm almost certain there is way more to her than this all-consuming illness, but I'm sorry to say I only know the person I live with as a crazy old woman who has more hostile tendencies than friendly ones.
I guess this is one of the downsides of living with an unmedicated paranoid schizophrenic prone to aggressive behaviour.
It appears I have reached a new level in the colourful relationship I have with my grandmother.
Last night, I went to bed the earliest I've gone to bed in ages. I was determined to give myself a good night's rest, and I was pretty confident nothing would get in the way of that. I would get 7 and a half hours of uninterrupted sleep, and I'd have time to eat breakfast, drink a cup of coffee, scan some important documents, and maybe even put the washing on the line.
But as fate would have it, of course that wasn't going to happen.
Instead, I was rudely awakened at 3 in the morning by a very livid (and very mobile - looks like her hip has healed nicely) grandmother armed with a hard, plastic hanger, shouting angry words at me while she attempted to beat me to death.
I did not realise there was a need to lock my bedroom door at night. Now, I know. Now, my head, arms and legs all know - for a story she created in her mind.
The real sad thing is that I have no fucking clue who this Madam Teo is. Who is the lady who raised my mum and taught music lessons at Chung Hwa Middle School?
I'm almost certain there is way more to her than this all-consuming illness, but I'm sorry to say I only know the person I live with as a crazy old woman who has more hostile tendencies than friendly ones.
I guess this is one of the downsides of living with an unmedicated paranoid schizophrenic prone to aggressive behaviour.
Thursday 5 January 2012
Listening to: As Much As I Ever Could by City And Colour
A glimmer of hope in a dark, dark world: GOGOGO!
I really believe in these type of movements. This is the kind of stuff I want to do. The reason I want to go to the University of Amsterdam to study Communication Science with a focus on Youth and the Media.
The best thing about Men Can Stop Rape, though, is that they are targeting a problem I hold very near and dear to my heart.
So much so that I wanted to donate some money, but they only take online donations from a limited number of countries. :[ I'll have to think of some other way.
If I could hug them, I would. I would hold the whole goddamn beautiful non-profit organisation in my arms and hug the hell out of it.
A glimmer of hope in a dark, dark world: GOGOGO!
I really believe in these type of movements. This is the kind of stuff I want to do. The reason I want to go to the University of Amsterdam to study Communication Science with a focus on Youth and the Media.
The best thing about Men Can Stop Rape, though, is that they are targeting a problem I hold very near and dear to my heart.
So much so that I wanted to donate some money, but they only take online donations from a limited number of countries. :[ I'll have to think of some other way.
If I could hug them, I would. I would hold the whole goddamn beautiful non-profit organisation in my arms and hug the hell out of it.
Wednesday 4 January 2012
Feeling: Destructive
Listening to: Forgive Me by City And Colour
It would be much easier to rip out the motherboard completely in one go than to carefully try to get it out with the tiny little screwdriver I'm holding.
See, I've been known to fall in love. But sometimes love just is not enough.
Is it really possible to destroy someone's life? Can the harsh choices made by a single person be to blame for the vast misfortune of another? Does the responsibility lie in the way the harmer* harmed or the way the harmee** handled it?
* Yes, according to Oxford and Webster, I made this word up.
** I made this one up, too.
Listening to: Forgive Me by City And Colour
It would be much easier to rip out the motherboard completely in one go than to carefully try to get it out with the tiny little screwdriver I'm holding.
See, I've been known to fall in love. But sometimes love just is not enough.
Is it really possible to destroy someone's life? Can the harsh choices made by a single person be to blame for the vast misfortune of another? Does the responsibility lie in the way the harmer* harmed or the way the harmee** handled it?
* Yes, according to Oxford and Webster, I made this word up.
** I made this one up, too.
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