Feeling: Disturbed
Listening to: Goodnight Goodnight by Hot Hot Heat

Willard's on TV right now. So, I'm watching that. Rats are cool. Except for this scene. I'm at the scene where the dude finds the kitchen's full of big black rats and his dead mother is on the floor and they're feeding on her.

Guess what? I failed my Add Maths exam again. Hahaha. Cool. I have a subject I'm failing.

I've been downloading mp3s from download.com. Hahaha. Kinda funny.

Oh, now Willard's at the scene where he's screaming "It's my house! It's my house!"

Peh. I'm losing interest in this OJ business. I need to work on my posture.

But ooohhh, I touched a cow's heart today. It looked like a big bean, and veins are elastic. Did you know that? I was kind of playing with it. And a peice of the heart was on my hand, coz Far put it there... for some reason. Anyway, yeh, I poked the cow's heart. And it wasn't so bad if you didn't think of it as a heart. It looked like a bean, so I thought of it as a bean.

That brings this matter into a new light, you know. We shouldn't look at things for just as they are. Like, guy friends, if we think of them as girls, it's not so bad. I mean, if you have a boyfriend. Yeh, that's my view. Hahaha. So, don't be surprised if I get a little close to you, I might just think of you as a girl friend, someone I'm comfortable with, you know? And I'm not homosexual. :) So, don't go there.

I've got pictures of guys kissing on my computer. Cool, yeh? And and kelvin did the cutest thing today. He hugged Muizz. Hehe. But when I asked him to hug ME, he ran away...

Okay. That's all. WILLLARRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDD.

Oh yeh, and no school tomorrow. Weheeee. I want to go to Tutong, or KB. I don't know why. I'm just getting sick of going to bandar, Gadong, Jerudong and back again. I need a change. :P Ciao.

Feeling: Relieved
Listening to: Like Hypchondriacs Need Placebos by The Awkward Silence

Exams are finally over. Well, yes, there will be more of these God awful tests at the end of the year and probably all throughout my life, in ways less obvious maybe. But for now, the exams are finally over. I can relax. I can sleep. I can not study for once. I can... catch up on my reading. And other stuff that I do just for fun.

I'm actually really tired, and I'm not feeling releaved at all. I need to pee. I seem to be all full of the smelly liquid, but yeh, I need to pee. I'm kind of losing interest in the internet, but mp3s and videos and people keep me on. Oh, and trivia, every now and then when I remember there's such a thing. But yes, the internet is getting boring. Not really... I'm just pushing my interests to things less virtual. Like food.

That is all. I can't be bothered to think of anything else. I'll go read a season of zole, then I'm going. Or maybe not. :) See, I can be mysterious.

Feeling: Like I need to pee
Listening to: Broken Wings by Bleed The Dream

I went to the Borneo Bulletin place today! Yay. I liked it, I don't know why. It was fun being able to have a say in what will be seen by more than 10 people. Hahaha. :) Yes, and I just like it. Cause everyone was like, busy typing away at their computers. But when I asked for a souvenir, all I got was a free issue of today's Borneo Bulletin. Poooo.

Also, before going there, I went to this De Royale Cafe with Zildo and we met Ignacious Stephen, or however you spell his name. And he used to be good friends with my dad and I didn't even know. And when I told him who my dad was, his eyes grew big and I thought he didn't hear me so I repeated his name and told him he used to work for the Borneo Bulletin. Then he said "---'s you're father?!" and it was kind of scary. Haha. But yes. It was interesting and that made me late for our trip to the Borneo Bulletin.

For those of you who know what Unauthentic is, it might be up again after this Thursday, because that's when my exams stop and that's when I'm going to discuss this with Sputniq again. Hehe. He'll host me or something like that. Yeh. Discussions need to be made.

Ooh, ooh. I have a plaster on my chin. :) I'm so cool.

I watched Star Wars on Sunday. It was... cool. Hahahaha. Hayden Christensen/Anakin is cute. :) Very much so. So is Mikey Way, the bassist of My Chemical Romance and Frankie Lero, the guitarist of MCR. For more information on who is cute, click here.

I'm surfing this now. I've never been inside the shop. I think I'm scared. Haha.

Cats' nipples are strange. :) And when you touch their nipples their ears twitch. Try it! Haha. I tried it on my sister's cat as an experiment. It's funny.

Okay. That's all. I'm gonna go run over to the bathroom and pee. I'll tell you how my exams are once I've gotten all my results back. ;) I don't know what to expect. Haha. Biology kinda sucked. Okay. Toilet's calling me.

Feeling: Desperate
Listening to: In Loving Memory by And Then I Turned Seven...

Yup. And Then I Turned Seven... is rocking right now and I've been robbing purevolume, getting all the mp3s I could(haha, which isn't a lot. If you've got any other than Goodbye, I Miss You, In Loving Memory and Sweet Dreams, then please send some to me. :)) This might help. Thank you very much.

Want to know what's on my Winamp playlist(I used Winamp. I'm so old school, yaw. I like 'em skins they got. And I like saying "'em" now. It's cool. Get with it.)? No? I'll tell you anyway. You might need this information one day, so it may actually come in handy.
01. Emery - Walls
02. And Then I Turned Seven... - Goodbye (I'm Sorry)
03. And Then I Turned Seven... - I Miss You
04. And Then I Turned Seven... - In Loving Memory
05. And Then I Turned Seven... - Sweet Dreams
06. Emery - As Your Voice Fades
07. Emery - Bloodless
08. Emery - Fractions
09. Emery - The Ponytail Parades
10. Emery - The Secret
11. The Lyndsay Diaries - Midwestern
12. The Lyndsay Diaries - Don't Say Maybe, Baby
13. The Lyndsay Diaries - Emergency
14. The Lyndsay Diaries - Hold
15. The Lyndsay Diaries - Lady Luck

So, that's what I usually do - put all songs I have from an artist and put it on a playlist. Haha. Oh, yes. If you have any more mp3s or videos or whatever of any of the bands mentioned above, that'd be cool.

Yesterday, Kevin bought me dinner. It made me have something to smile about. Hehe. It was break time at tuition, so he asked "Sue-Anne, you want to come with us?" I asked back "Where?" "Go eat." "Okay." and we left. He asked if I ate dinner and when I said no, he said "Okay, then let's go eat dinner." and we went to Mamih. Hehe. Then he told me the nasi lemak was good, so he recomended it. And he told me how a lot of people come here for the nasi lemak. So, yeh. We did that. :) I felt included. It's a cool feeling. I like being included.

I'm actually 'studying' at the same time as typing this and listning to music. Cool, eh?

A beautiful baby blue sky that's looking up at you.

Maybe I should go. I haven't studied properly and time is running out. It's 12:08AM. :) Okay. That's it. I'm going.

And those little bits of italic words I usually type in random are lyrics.

Feeling: Hopeful
Listening to: Goodbye(I'm Sorry) by And Then I Turned Seven...

Yes! His name is Ace. Ace Enders. :) Here's a picture. (And I'm talking about that Early November guy)

I hotlinked, sorry, theearlynovember.net. Anyway, he's the one one the right side, when you're staring at the computer screen. The guy on the left is Sergio. He's cute too. And the girl is some fan. I'm sorry fan, I don't know your name.

Everything is worthless. No one who wants me to stay. And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long. So, here's my goodbye. No one will cry over me, I'm not worth any tears. - That song advertises for suicide hotlines. Hehe. It's true.

Feeling: Fuck annoyed
Listening to: Me And The Moon by Something Corporate

Michael Jackson is innocent. Click here for more of what I have to say. Thank you.

You're stupid.

Everyone's stupid.

Stupid.

Anywayyy, Afiq's so cute(he's that Squirt Boy I told you about in a previous post). I hugged him. I'm going to kidnap him one day and rape him. Mwahahahaha. No, really, I will. And his parents won't know a thing. :) Yes, hear my insane thoughts, they're very human and real.

I'm having my mid-year exams now. So, maybe that explains my no-update mode, maybe not. Today I had accounts. Oh, yes, don't ever ask me how exams go. I'll either shrug, say okay, or that it wasn't good. There you go. Another notice in advance. Love me for that.

I have a new suicide song to listen to. It's called Goodbye(I'm Sorry) by ...and then i turned seven... (with or without the ... i don't know), and here are the lyrics.
Time has run out, for me, everything's distant and I don't know what to believe
It's so hard, lost in the world's confusion and I need to leave
For awhile, life is so meaningless there is nothing worth a smile
So goodbye, I'll miss you....
I'm sorry, but this is my fate, everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long, so here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me, I'm not worth any tears...
It's been the years, of abuse, neglected to treat the disorder that's controlled my youth
For so long, I'm in a fleshy tomb burried up above the ground
It's no use, why should I hold on it's been five years don't need one more
So goodbye, life's abuse...
Cool. Lets gather up all our suicide songs and have a suicide concert. Then we can all kill ourselves. Cool. :) It'll be like that guy I read about in the nespapers. He was having a gathering with all these ladies and then they'd all commit suicide. Keeool, dood.

I finally got my DVD yesterday. I'm so happy. Hehe. It was bugging me so fucking much that I didn't have it, but now I do so yay. I put up a fight when I went to exchange it(I bought it on Saturday afternoon, but it didn't work so that's why I went to exchange it), I met my twin there. Back to the story. I put up a fight, cause they said if I exchange it with the same kind of DVD it might not work, so I better just choose another DVD, like MTV, but I said I didn't want to and I asked them to just try it. Then, they asked me to go find the DVD by myself. :( And like, okay, fine. Anyway, the DVD worked and so I bummed them out. La la la. About the DVD, it's a Drive-Thru Records one, so I just fell in love with it the first time I saw it. They have the Early November and the vocalist is damn cute. Hehe. Yes. I'm stupid. I haven't even caught his name. I think it's Ace. Or something. I'll find out.

Yes. I'm fed up now and even more fucking annoyed. I don't like feeling like a stupid wall. :( Why don't people care about meeee? Hahahahaha. Not funny, just really, really sad because I know a few people probably care about me. Just some people don't act like it. Grr.

Feeling: Pissed
Listening to: Reinventing Your Exit by Underoath

I spent the day doing in random and repeat the following: switching the television on and off, flicking through channels, playing the piano, walking around, eating, cooking, studying, writing down my summary of biology chapters 1 - 4, calling Farianne, sneezing continuously, screaming, tearing(as in crying), watching my grandmother go in and out of her room, and downloading mp3s from purevolume.com. What a wonderful day. Okay. I'm actually quite pissed.

I'm annoyed because someone, but my best bet is my sister, took my money, that I was going to use to buy this Drive-Thru Records DVD that I so really want to buy for some reason. And also because I want this DVD so much. It's $7. I can buy like more than 15 of them, but my money's gone. I only have $5 left and my school money. SDFLKNWG.

And all I want to do is listen to screamo music. Lyndsay Diaries won't do the trick this time. I need screamo.

I'm also pissed because I miss Prince so much, and I can't stand it. I need a hug. And I want to go see a horror movie. Or any movie. With my twin. Then all the week's fucking problems can dissolve and seem non-existant for that little while he's in my presence.

Oh, yes, another reason why I'm so God damned annoyed is because I'm starting to hate a character in the book I'm reading(Blackwood Farm by Anne Rice). He's just so stupid. He keeps making the same mistake of sleeping with the stupid ghost. And he turns away and treats the 'person' who loves him the most so badly. Ignorance. Eeeee.

Okay. Enough. I'm sleepy. I keep waking up at 9:56AM on Fridays I don't have to go to school. I'm so fucking bored, it angers me. There I go again with the anger. I hate being angry. I want a sundae. And you probably think I'm a little bitch now, ey?

Oh, cool. Right on time. Someone I enjoy talking to came online. Finally. Someone who's not stupid.

Okay. Information: I'm changing my URL. I was going to just go ahead and do that, but then I figure the readers(oh, yes, my readers!), if there are any, wouldn't know about it. And then that new URL wouldn't have so many readers, if there are any.

So, to all my readers, if there are any, the new URL is http://xxbrokensmile.blogspot.com. Enjoy yourself.

Cheers.

Feeling: Nostalgic
Listening to: Reinventing Your Exit by Underoath

You know what I miss? Those times when I would stay online for ages simply because Stella wouldn't let me go, cause then he'd(yes, Stella is a guy. I'll get to that later) be alone. He'd spend nights/mornings downloading videos and music, so he'd drag me along with him, sending me millions of files like the Lyndsay Diaries <3, not going to bed until 5 in the morning. That was cool. Even though he's in Singapore. Haha. We don't even talk that much anymore.

Anyway, this Stella thing. When I first 'knew' him, it was from myspace, and his display name was stella, with the sex female. So, I see no reason as to why I wouldn't think he was a girl. Until he told me he was a guy, cause I kept calling him Stella, and yeah. I started laughing cause he told me he still doesn't know why he put the sex as female. :) Strange boy. Hehe.

Moving on, the EB meeting was cancelled, it's been moved to Saturday. Mid Year Exams start next week, Monday + Tuesday I still have to stay until 2:50PM though, because I don't know, the stupid school system, then Wednesday onwards we can go home after the exams have been finished for the day. I have a million pimples. I hate them. They hurt. And I don't feel pretty. Heeee.

I sound very egotistic, I'm sorrrryyy.

I'm sleepy. I was actually waiting for my twin to come online, but I don't think he is. I plan on spending tomorrow studying - I've got 8 chapters to remember for Biology. Geezus. I haven't eaten dinner yet and I didn't have a tummyache today! I had one yesterday though. Maybe I'll get one tomorrow.

I've also been wondering what it would be like if I were pregnant. A pregnant 14-year-old forced to quit school and give birth. Eep. It would be weird having an alien-shaped thing growing and moving inside of you. Creepy, man. Okay. I'm going. I had a bad dream the other night. It was of rats mostly, and bugs. They were eating people. I had to run away. Which reminds me I hate waking up from nightmares. Cause I hate the way I still feel like I'm in my dream, as my heart is still beating faster than it should.

My grandmother's crazy. I can't stand it. She's very paranoid. Help me. She has a need to lock every single door she closes. And if the front or back door is left unlocked, she'll get angry and tell off whoever is present. There. She just went into the kitchen to check if the door was still locked. As I said, help me. She's going over to the front door now. To check it as well. Eeee. Oh yeah, and she watches people. Oh, now she caught a rat that was outside. I can hear it screeching. Ahhh. Where's she bringing the stupid rat? I don't know. Why am I typing down everything as it happens? I'm crazy too. It must be infectious.

My last words will be: I miss my twin, my prince, my heros, my friends. That is all.

Feeling: Depressed
Listening to: Don't Say Maybe Baby by The Lyndsay Diaries

SIGH.

I'm so depressed. At least that's what I think I'm feeling. And I hate being so bored and helpless that I've actually turned to the side of prompt OJ posts. So, yes, I'm depressed. I feel like there's nothing uplifting to look forward to. Not even my twin, or Prince. Well, when they're here I feel better, but now that they're not, I'm just depressed. Why do heros only come when the war is over?

And I still feel ugly. I hate the way I look. I hate a lot of things. I hate the fact that I can't cry. I try to cry, but it seems that since I've been so happy with Prince and everything, I've become so infamiliar with the feeling of sadness that I don't even remember what to do when I'm actually feeling sad. I hate this. I hate everything. I want to suffocate myself.

Now, that feels better. Maybe I'm just feeling this way because I'm a girl. Hormones and all, you know. And I feel like I can't be bothered about anything anymore. School, friends, life... Speaking of friends, two of mine are in a fight. I mean, they're fighting. Argueing. Not being nice. I don't like being the middle person, which I often am. And I don't like seeing my friends like that. Sometimes I just want to slap both of them. They can be such bitches. But I love my bitches. HAHA. Yeh, I love them, when they're behaving themselves. Stupid cows.

I don't know why the hell I want to post all these stupid soppy teenage feelings, since you've all probably felt like this before. So why am I continueing? Geez. I'm going. I have a Chinese test tomorrow, but I think I won't be able to take it because that's when I have my Editorial Board meeting. Yay. I failed my spelling test, by the way, with a 40%. I so rock right now. Not studying feels so much better than busting my ass and getting 40%. Yeah. Good night. My eyes hurt. And I had another one of those tummyaches just an hour ago. Something has got to be wrong with me. Woohoo. Maybe I'll die. There's something to look forward to. :) I'm kidding. I'm not suicidal. I just say things I don't mean.

Feeling: Asleep
Listening to: This Photograph Is Proof by Taking Back Sunday

If I was online at 1:09AM this morning, this is what I would have posted:

I'm feeling ugly. And feeling ugly only gives way to the possiblity that I may actually be ugly. I don't like feeling ugly. I actually tried to scrub the ugliness away in the shower. I want to be clean. I want to be beautiful. I want to be able to make peoples' heads turn. Not because of the way I look - ugly or not - but because of the way I am.

Doesn't it seem just hopeless when the only reason we get up in the morning is to hit the snooze button? And as I've been reading a lot of comics lately, one particular comic has actually made me think about life. Why do we even bother to live? The world is turning upside down, and its getting worse and worse as each day floats by. Why do we bother to try? Only the interesting people of the past are remembered. I won't be. So, I start to wonder about the uninteresting people of the past. Did they live like we do? Accepting day after day that we are nothing, and never will be anything? Were they like us? Will we be remembered? Do we even want to be remembered? Especially in a judgmental, stereotypical, prejudice society of stupid human beings who take things of value for granted, then throw it all away.

But, now that it is officially 10:25PM, this is what I say, barely unchanged. I don't really care, I'm just adding stuff on:

My Chief Editor liked my movie review of Infection. She said it was rather amusing. Hehe. So, I think that will be the one in the newspaper, as I'm doing two articles and one of mine is for back up. She said my Beautiful Oblivion, the story about the vampire, was good too. The ending was just a little abrupt. But, yeah, she said I have good descriptive skills. Wehee. I have something to work on! Finally. I mean, I might have an idea of what career choice I will make. Lately, I'm being drawn to English Literature. Not sure why, it just seems very interesting.

I'm not feeling any preetier than I was this morning. Maybe uglier, if you will. I just feel so gross and uncomfortable seeing myself in the mirror. It's like I'm too unpretty to look at. Like Sedusa. I'm so ugly that if you look at me, you will turn to stone. Well, yeah. That's how I feel. And if you feel some kind of pity for me, don't tell me I'm not ugly. This is just how I feel, saying what you might won't necessarily change what I think.

Me and a few classmates were talking about nipples in Biology class today. It all started when I asked Edwin whether it tickled when people touched his nipples. Everyone who heard laughed. Like it was some sort of laughable matter. Heee. :P I was curious though, and when I saw Edwin, I just thought of nipples. We actually talked about other stuff, it just initiated with that nipple topic and somehow we jumped to homosexual relationships.

I've also been having a lot of stupid tummyaches lately. I had one again today. Why do I get tummyaches? Is it because of what I'm eating or not eating? The last time I had a tummyache was two days ago, actually, yesterday, since it was early in the morning(2-ish) and I'm forced to upbotton my pants, clutch my tummy, curl up in a ball and go to sleep. It's not a poopy tummyache, I never need to shit. It's just a torture tummyache. Like God has this special way of torturing me for torturing myself with no sleep. I'm getting insomniac. I sleep late. Very late. It's unhealthy.

I think that's all. I'm just talking about myself, like that's something important. I probably won't even be one of those interesting people. I'm just a selfish human, and humans have emotions. This is how I express them for now, as I've no other way to kill myself mentally. Yes, I'm just a fucking human. I've always been 'just a human'. And I'll never be anything else other than just another human who has walked and left the Earth on her voyage to Venus and other planets, some of no existance but no one dares corrupt her fantasies of finding life in space. So, I will go. May the force be with you. And I don't watch Star Wars. I've never really bothered about it. Should I? Tell me to, and I will. I'm that vulnerable. Kill me now. Before I kill myself.

Boston Public is on now. But I can't watch because it's frikkin' raining. Now I have to wait for a repeat. :( I need my BP. And plus, I need to pee.

Feeling: Rushed
Listening to: Audio Blood by The Matches

I listened to Cokelat(which I'm still debating with myself whether it is spelt Coklat or Cokelat)'s Karma, and the singer just made me HAVE to listen to this song - The Matches. Cause they both do that 'uh' thing. Haha. I missed this song.

I changed the audio settings to my MSN. So, now, whenever I get an e-mail, or whenever I sign in and I've got e-mails, the song This Photograph Is Proof(I Know You Know) by TBS will play. And it won't stop unless MSN makes another sound. Hehee.

Sweating in the dark, we're freed as the weight of the week falls away with a thud. Sweating in the dark, we feed on the forms in the light. On the floor, we're the flood. We bleed, we bleed, we bleed... AUDIO BLOOOODDD

Anyway, I watched the whole seasion of the Simple Life 1 just now(I watched the first season of Punk'd the other day too, my sister got these DVDs, so..). And now the Penfifteen Club's Song is stuck in my head. AHHHHHH.

Oh my, looky there
Stone-cold foxy, platinum hair
Short skirt, barely there
Make a chick wanna hate, make a boy wanna stare

Well, Ms. Hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks
Get the feelin' that you don’t really give a fuck
Ms. Hilton I like the way you push and glide
Rollerskates on a social butterfly, whoo!

Breeze by, velvet ropes
Ski this town like a bunny slope
Oh my, there she goes
A Long money girl in her short money clothes

Well,Ms. Hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks
Was it you with your bunny all up in the club?
Ms. Hilton I like the way you push and glide
Rollerskates on a social butterfly

Ms. Hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks
Get the feelin that you don’t really give a fuck
Ms Hilton I like the way you push and glide
Rollerskates on a social butterfly

Ms. Hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks
Was it you with your bunny all up in the club?
Ms. Hilton I like the way you push and glide
Rollerskates on a social butterfly

Ms. Hilton
Ms. Hilton
Ms. Hilton

That chorus has been on repeat all day. SDFKENGKEW. Eeee.

Ms. Hilton, you must be worth a trillion bucks. Get the feeling that you don't really give a fuck.

Yeah. Whatever. I need to pee. Bye bye.

Oh, nevermind.

Today's Mothers' Day. My sister bought her a present, and we all made a card and signed it. I wanted to give my mum a cake and a flower. But no, that won't happen. Haha. And yeah, I did say a flower. Only one. Because it's like.. sweet. Or something. Anyway, the present was a kind of reading lamp thing, so I wrote "we finally figured out a way to shine for you." in the card. Haha. You have to have a sense of humour.

Went to Jerudong Park yesterday. Just sat there, walked for a bit before that, but yeah, most of the time I just sat there with Prince. Then I saw my brother walk right passed us. :) And I saw him again, just as we were leaving. He was leaving too, and I was like "QUICK! HIDE!" and we(me and Prince) hid behind the pillar thing. Then my brother's friend started walking towards us, and (HEHE) I did that quick, hide thing again. So, we ran across the playground field. Yeah. It was fun, for some sick reason. Hiding from brothers is way cool.

Prince has this video of me eating my sundae. Hehe. It's funny. Coz he actually watches it. HAHAHA.

Ok. I'm really going now. Everything else I will write beyond this point will turn boring and senseless and stupid and repetitive. So, bye. :)

Feeling: Bored
Listening to: Giving Up by Silverstein

I know how great that song is. (Giving Up. Silverstein. Hottt.)

I keep saying 'hot' now. And 'stupid cow', if you've noticed.

I editted that song I made. Heehe. I added some more to it.

I miss your fucking face.
And your stupid hugs.
Why did you have to go away?
I wished on a fucking star,
But nothing bloody happened.
Now, I'm gonna die.
Why did you fucking cry?
Was it all because of I?
I, I'm dying. Wooo~ I am dead.
Your bloody kisses got me cursed.
And my fucking lips still taste of you.
I need some reassurance.
Don't leave me here in death.
I want to see your fucking smile.
It used to make me so bloody happy.
Now that you're gone, I fucking weep.
And I cuss you for giving me shitty hope,
Then taking it all away.
Will you ever return?
Oh, who cares? Wooo~ I don't care.
I'll wait till my hair turns grey.
And until you come back,
I'll remember all the stupid love we had.

The underlined is what I added. La dee da.

And I'm done. I feel weird. I need something. But what? Eep.

Feeling: Crampy
Listening to: Voices Of Violence by Billy Talent

Tongs are so useful. They can pick up all sorts of things you don't want to touch. Like oily kitchen towels, or yucky gross vegetables. :) So useful. So, let us bow our heads in silence in praise of the tong.

Note: (To self, or to anyone reading this)If you want something done the way you want it to be done, do it yourself.

'Tis true. No one else knows how you want it done. Stupid cows. HAHA. But, yes, it's true.

And I'm done with my movie review. Now, I'm wondering if it will be good enough for the Chief. Ooooh, I'm shaky with nervousness.

I'm feeling stupid. Do I sound stupid? I keep say things with no fullstop today. To annoy people, I think. Or maybe just because I'm bored. One of them. Yeah. :) Okay.

Feeling: Lazy and irritable
Listening to: Bleeds No More by Silverstein

I'm so fucking tired. Tired from doing nothing. Who the hell invented that? Stupid cow. Anyway, I don't think I've ever felt this lazy and tired from doing hella nothing. Stupid cow.

Let's get back to business. I've been reading lots of webcomics lately. Hehe. They're entertaining. So, I just have to link these few: Striptease, Her! & Girly. Sinfest is funny too. But I Like those first three more. And I love advertising.

Oh, yeah. Cool news. I scared myself with it. Haha. I got the highest marks in the class for Maths (D). Guess how much. Come, on. Guess! 98% Yeah! HAHA. Isn't it weird? I was reallyy and I mean reaaallllyyyy surprised. Heeee. :) But good surprised. And yeah, I failed Add Maths, as usual. 40% this time though, not 36%. Haha. So, I improved. More about test scores, I got 60% for my Malay karangan. That means I passed. Whoopee. Who would have known. Hehe. Cool, man.

And doooooooooooooooooooood. I watched the whole first season of Punk'd just now. Some of them jokes were just lame. Haha. And I felt the victims felt they were lame too. Hehe. Stupid Ashton Kutcher. I love him. La la la.

Shiet. I am THE PROCRASTINATOR. THE PROCRASTINATOR is my name. SFGKJERGIOWIKC(Obvious influence - Envy). Oh yeah, I am THE PROCRASTINATOR because I'm only planning on finishing my stupid movie review today. The last day. Heheee.

I want to buy a DVD. The All-American Rejects DVD. Hehe. I don't know why. It looks cool. Cool is good. Good is rocking.

Oh, yeah. I wrote a song yesterday. The lyrics are so hot.

I miss your fucking face.
And your stupid hugs.
Why did you have to go away?
I wished on a fucking star,
But nothing bloody happened.
Now, I'm gonna die.
Why did you fucking cry?
Was it all because of I?
I, I'm dying. Wooo~ I am dead.
Your bloody kisses got be cursed.
And my fucking lips still taste of you.
I need some reassurance.
Don't leave me here alone in death.

I am the queen of song writing. :)

And also, I think not one of my readers understood what I was talking about in this post. But that's okay. I still love you.

Feeling: Sorry
Listening to: Ku Katakan Dengan Indah by Peterpan

I'm hungry. I wonder why. Maybe it's because I only had mee goreng for lunch, and a cheesey bun(yum) for breakfast. *grumble. And people keep saying I look thinner now. But Prince said nice things, and I feel all bubbly inside.

I'm sorry because this is the second time I went to a movie with my twin, and the second time Prince's friend saw me and told him and got all bad thoughts in his head. This time, his friend told him that Prince is stupid, and asked him why he isn't taking better care of me, letting me go out with another guy. Eek. What the fuck? Excuse my French, but I don't want US to become a screaming relationship, like that of someone-I-know's. Prince's perfect just the way he is, and I like it.

Hehe. He asked me why I say he's perfect. Who's up for some soppy, mushy fairytale feelings? If you're not. Skip this next part. HEEEE.

* He's so cutee.
* He cares so much.
* He makes me feel special.
* He always makes me happy when I need to be.
* He's supportive.
* And I love him.
* He understands how I feel...
* Even when I don't expect him to.
* He surprises me, from the way he can be so adorably smart sometimes to the way he wonders how things work.
* He's simply amazing.
* And sweet.
* I keep falling in love with him all over again.
* He's so precious, I want to hold him all the time, even when I'm sleeping.
* And I love him so much, I wish every dream I had was about him.
* Quite honestly, when he started loving me, my life just became so much happier.
* Plus, he's got a sexy ass. ;) HAHAHA.

I feel better after telling him all this. Because, well, people have asked me why I love him so much, and I never could really give out an answer. Maybe I really didn't know. It just is as it is.

With all that out of the way, I think I have to start writing my frickin' review of Infection. :) Yeah, I haven't even started yet. Procrastinator! Dun dun dun.

My eye is itchy. AAHHHHHHHH.

Oh yes, and let me say, I was really scared when Prince messaged me with the creepy messages informing me about the... watcher. Yeah, let's call his tell-tale friend the watcher. Hehe. Ok. I'm going. As my MSN nick says: I = pretentious little fuck. And the little message thingie saying: Oh no, I mucked up. Fuckity fuck. I hope Prince won't ask me to choose between my twin and him. It'll be so hard. :/ How can anyone ask someone to make that decision anyway? It's inhumane.

Feeling: Infectious

The Empty Windows
All the empty windows leave no reflection.
And I'm forced to smile at the ground.
With no real faces in all direction,
My sight dissolves, as does sound.
The laughter has stopped, the tears too.
No soul flies through the lonely gate.
They chatter away in the cold, dripping dew.
And watch as butterflies and dragons relate.
All the empty windows fog every once in a while.
And I start to wonder about my being.
When lies turn into truths, prosecution into denial.
All I once had faith in is fleeing.
The rainbow has faded and my spirit is jaded.
Yet, I hold on tightly to suicide's cold hand.
Never letting it beat me, I won't be degraded.
I will live on happy, against my heart's demand.

I literally just wrote it. And I like it. :) Especially the last line. It's like... I will live happy, even if I don't really want to.

Feeling: Empty
Listening to: Buried A Lie by Senses Fail

I watched Infection just now. It was classified as suspense/horror. I could say it does belong in that category, but I could also say it's comedy. Why? I just kept laughing at some parts of the movie, it was funny. And it didn't really make sense. This 'infection' spreads through minds. And they kept showing this swing that was swinging by itself, and in the end another swing was swinging with it. All I can ask is "What's with the swing?" HAHA. Strange movie I must say, but very entertaining. Although, there were times I glanced at my twin, next to me, and asked "What?"

That reminds me, watching a 'scary' movie with Mr. B is so much fun. HAHAHA. He squirms around in his seat and everything. He even had to hold my hand and cover his eyes for some parts. And I was just laughing. Tsk tsk. That scaredy cat. We almost had the whole cinema to ourselves. If it wasn't for them two couples at the back. Haha. ALMOST. And this is funny because before the movie, I said I'd book all the seats in the cinema so it'll only be us. HAHA.

After the movie, we walked around and we were counting how many people stared at us like we had horns growing out of our foreheads. Hehe. Maybe it was because we were sitting there with my foot was on his lap, we exchanged positions later and his foot was on my lap. I kept giggling. Ngeh. I'm Giggly Annie.

I went to that Battle of the Bands thing last night with Prince, the one hosted by Beat 91.4FM or something. I didn't hear much of it. The first group I heard were hip hoping and since I have this thing with BAD female singers, my ears exploded. And for the second band, it was mostly instrumental for their first song. But with their second song, the FEMALE singer sang. Too bad I couldn't understand or hear what she was singing about, otherwise I would have better judgment for her. Yeah, I would have, if only she didn't try to scream somewhere at the end. That ruined everything and we didn't stick around to hear anymore. I'm never satisfied.

I saw Peterpan on the TV just now. Ariel's so cute. And he was kissing the microphone, making me jealous. HEHEE. I wish I was that microphone! HAHA.

I kept thinking of Prince today. It was weird. I mean, it's not weird to think of him. It's just weird WHY I was thinking of him. I was worried, I think. Yep. That's it. I was worried.

So, I finished my story for the Borneo Bulletin yesterday before I went out with Prince. It's kind of a summary of my English essay, about a vampire and stuff. Wait and see for yourself. 27th May 2005. :) High School section.

With that, I sign off. Leaving you with your unpredictable judgments of what I am or whether I'm cool or not. Whatever it is, hugs and kisses, I love you too.