Listening to: Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something
Okay, I'm in class. Josh and Muizz were singing Fall Out Boy's Sugar, We're Going Down Swinging, and they kept singing the 'I'm just a notch in your bedpost, you're just a line in a song' part wrong, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I had to go correct them. Haha. It was funny. :)
Now they're listening to Breakfast at Tiffany's.
And now, class is over.
Friday 28 October 2005
Thursday 27 October 2005
Feeling: Woo
Listening to: No Seatbelt Song by Brand New
In the past month, I have downloaded 73 videos, 17 of them being Invader Zim episodes. :) And right now, I'm downloading Finch's Worms of the Earth, live somewhere (79%) and Silverstein's Giving Up, also live somewhere (51%) from IRC. I'm so cool. HAHA. I need more. I'm a video junkie. Rawr. They just take ages to download, I tell you, cause half the time they don't finish sending, but it's okay, cause you can resume. It still takes forever though.
Oh, and TBS's Adam is pretty in the videos I have. :P
I'm in the process of fixing up UNauthentic. And it's been more than a week since I said it might be done in a week. Hehehe. Yeh, I'm lazy, and I have to code everything manually, so it takes forever. But, like I said, it's in the process.
And I just made a new layout for Broken Smile.
And today, I had my last exam which was Add Maths and I hated it cause it was hella hard, and I'll probably get less than 30%. Hahahahaha. Loser.
It's 3:16AM. I slept all afternoon now I don't know what to do.
Videos. Let's watch videos. :)
Listening to: No Seatbelt Song by Brand New
In the past month, I have downloaded 73 videos, 17 of them being Invader Zim episodes. :) And right now, I'm downloading Finch's Worms of the Earth, live somewhere (79%) and Silverstein's Giving Up, also live somewhere (51%) from IRC. I'm so cool. HAHA. I need more. I'm a video junkie. Rawr. They just take ages to download, I tell you, cause half the time they don't finish sending, but it's okay, cause you can resume. It still takes forever though.
Oh, and TBS's Adam is pretty in the videos I have. :P
I'm in the process of fixing up UNauthentic. And it's been more than a week since I said it might be done in a week. Hehehe. Yeh, I'm lazy, and I have to code everything manually, so it takes forever. But, like I said, it's in the process.
And I just made a new layout for Broken Smile.
And today, I had my last exam which was Add Maths and I hated it cause it was hella hard, and I'll probably get less than 30%. Hahahahaha. Loser.
It's 3:16AM. I slept all afternoon now I don't know what to do.
Videos. Let's watch videos. :)
Wednesday 26 October 2005
Feeling: Twisted
I have bad posture. :) I passed my Biology exan with a 59%. HEE. Not the best, but not the worst either.
Today I had Physics, and that wasn't so bad, I guess. :P
Tomorrow is my last exam! Add Maths. Woo. Let's grab a bottle of champagne and celebrate.
I'm sitting in my sister's office with my socks and shoes off, cause it feels better that way, and ever few minutes I realize I'm hunching, so I try to straighten out my back, but it still ends up getting hunched. My sister's asleep on the couch. Hehehehe. I've got stamps that say 'PAID' and 'DRAFT' and marker pens. You thinking what I'm thinking.
I just remembered I'm waiting for my piano class and it's 5:21PM already. I should get going. My back hurts. I'm getting old.
I have bad posture. :) I passed my Biology exan with a 59%. HEE. Not the best, but not the worst either.
Today I had Physics, and that wasn't so bad, I guess. :P
Tomorrow is my last exam! Add Maths. Woo. Let's grab a bottle of champagne and celebrate.
I'm sitting in my sister's office with my socks and shoes off, cause it feels better that way, and ever few minutes I realize I'm hunching, so I try to straighten out my back, but it still ends up getting hunched. My sister's asleep on the couch. Hehehehe. I've got stamps that say 'PAID' and 'DRAFT' and marker pens. You thinking what I'm thinking.
I just remembered I'm waiting for my piano class and it's 5:21PM already. I should get going. My back hurts. I'm getting old.
Monday 24 October 2005
Feeling: Broken
I've decided to let the past be the past. Even though racism still sucks, I can't let things like that hurt me anymore. It's hard, so that will be one of the things I will just have to remember about people, I won't exactly forget it, it'll always be at the back of my mind, but it will be in the past. Good riddance. Sort of.
I watched all these kind of old videos about hurricane Katrina, and you know, I cried. I was just imagining if it was happening to me, it's horrible. The life you tried so hard to perfect and build up and get to where you were, just gone, destroyed and almost very likely to be never seen again. And insurance companies must be losing a lot of money. But that's not the point. People lost loved ones, and their homes. And I don't know what I'd do if that happened to me. So here's a tip, don't get too attached to things, or people, cause when they go, it won't hurt so much when you uncover the rubble of your home, holding tightly to the few tattered belongings you find strewn across your front lawn that now seem inseperable. And on the video, I saw all those victims, multi-racial, hugging and just embracing the fact that they are alive, even though they probably wish they weren't.
That's not all. The newspaper showed pictures of victims of the earthquake in South Asia, little kids. It's just so sad, but we can't do anything about it. Rebuilt lives destroyed again.
And there's the hurricane Wilma heading for the US again, isn't there? The world is falling apart. And for all our world cares, it will be in the headlines for a few weeks, then forgotten about like it didn't even happen while the ones in pain still go through what 'isn't so important anymore'.
I'm sorry I didn't help. But we always realize that when it's too late.
Brace yourself, people.
I've decided to let the past be the past. Even though racism still sucks, I can't let things like that hurt me anymore. It's hard, so that will be one of the things I will just have to remember about people, I won't exactly forget it, it'll always be at the back of my mind, but it will be in the past. Good riddance. Sort of.
I watched all these kind of old videos about hurricane Katrina, and you know, I cried. I was just imagining if it was happening to me, it's horrible. The life you tried so hard to perfect and build up and get to where you were, just gone, destroyed and almost very likely to be never seen again. And insurance companies must be losing a lot of money. But that's not the point. People lost loved ones, and their homes. And I don't know what I'd do if that happened to me. So here's a tip, don't get too attached to things, or people, cause when they go, it won't hurt so much when you uncover the rubble of your home, holding tightly to the few tattered belongings you find strewn across your front lawn that now seem inseperable. And on the video, I saw all those victims, multi-racial, hugging and just embracing the fact that they are alive, even though they probably wish they weren't.
That's not all. The newspaper showed pictures of victims of the earthquake in South Asia, little kids. It's just so sad, but we can't do anything about it. Rebuilt lives destroyed again.
And there's the hurricane Wilma heading for the US again, isn't there? The world is falling apart. And for all our world cares, it will be in the headlines for a few weeks, then forgotten about like it didn't even happen while the ones in pain still go through what 'isn't so important anymore'.
I'm sorry I didn't help. But we always realize that when it's too late.
Brace yourself, people.
Wednesday 19 October 2005
Feeling: Gross
Listening to: Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy
I love my brother. He's the sweetest. Even though sometimes I want to shove poison down his throat. I guess that's just how brothers are. He can be very understanding for a 13-year-old. :)
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're right, there's no real way of telling. Good and evil is just a point of view anyway(Wink wink. Star Wars). Thanks for giving me something to talk about though.
Sometimes it's the little actions of niceness that people do that grab your attention. Like smiles, and offering you a drink, and saying "your welcome" when you say "thanks" and "it's okay" when you say "sorry". Or, when people see you alone and come to talk to you just so you won't be so lonely.
People think I'm like this new born bird or something. It's kind of weird, cause if you really knew me, you'd know I'm not so bird-like. Hahaha.... Yeh.
Anyway, this week and the next is exam week. The only exams I'd say were okay were English paper 1 and Computer. The thing is, I studied the first page of my computer notes a month early, and the rest of it the night before the exam, it was so freaking cool. I fucked up Chemistry though, it was full of weird questions about moles and volume and formulae, and why the hell would I want to know that anyway? :) I want to change to combined science. Maybe I will next year. Maybe I won't, if I can pick myself up. Accounts wasn't good either, strange questions asking for the definition of straight-line method for depreciation and stuff. I might have messed it up, but for my answer, I just described the formula. HAHAHA.
I want to go to Bali again, and this time, I'm going to buy what I want and go to WaterBom park for God's sake.
Listening to: Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy
I love my brother. He's the sweetest. Even though sometimes I want to shove poison down his throat. I guess that's just how brothers are. He can be very understanding for a 13-year-old. :)
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're right, there's no real way of telling. Good and evil is just a point of view anyway(Wink wink. Star Wars). Thanks for giving me something to talk about though.
Sometimes it's the little actions of niceness that people do that grab your attention. Like smiles, and offering you a drink, and saying "your welcome" when you say "thanks" and "it's okay" when you say "sorry". Or, when people see you alone and come to talk to you just so you won't be so lonely.
People think I'm like this new born bird or something. It's kind of weird, cause if you really knew me, you'd know I'm not so bird-like. Hahaha.... Yeh.
Anyway, this week and the next is exam week. The only exams I'd say were okay were English paper 1 and Computer. The thing is, I studied the first page of my computer notes a month early, and the rest of it the night before the exam, it was so freaking cool. I fucked up Chemistry though, it was full of weird questions about moles and volume and formulae, and why the hell would I want to know that anyway? :) I want to change to combined science. Maybe I will next year. Maybe I won't, if I can pick myself up. Accounts wasn't good either, strange questions asking for the definition of straight-line method for depreciation and stuff. I might have messed it up, but for my answer, I just described the formula. HAHAHA.
I want to go to Bali again, and this time, I'm going to buy what I want and go to WaterBom park for God's sake.
Wednesday 12 October 2005
Feeling: Nostalgic
Listening to: Have You Ever by The Offspring
It's 1998 all over again. I've got The Offspring's Americana playing, and honestly, I think I've heard this whole CD thousands of times. :D I know every song, I think. HAHAHA. It's kind of dorky, but I know the introduction to the CD, and I know the song that plays after that, and I think I might have gotten the order of the tracks memorized. HAHAHA. :D
Nice people are nice. I like nice people. Are you nice? I like you. :) Heee. Like Zai, Aaron, and Carrie, heck, even Ikhwan Daddy is nice. Beautiful people. (Don't be alarmed, if your name isn't here, it's because I've already mentioned you a million times, so you'd probably know you're nice. Ha. Ha)
I've been writing testimonials for everyone, God knows why, I just get in the mood, and I use that mood to my advantage, or not, but yeah, testimonials is what happens.
Guess what came in the mail today! My NZ Road Code book. It's got stuff I'd need to know for my driving test later this year. It's so cool. Hahaha. I'm gonna drive! Who'd have known being 15 has it's advantages.
Random fact: First impressions aren't usually correct.
Random lyric: Shut up, you talk too much.
My brother turned 13 today. :) We went to the Yacht club and we made them sing happy birthday. Hahahahaha. It rocked. I ate pavlova, makes me miss NZ.
Random lyric: Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful.
Listening to: Have You Ever by The Offspring
It's 1998 all over again. I've got The Offspring's Americana playing, and honestly, I think I've heard this whole CD thousands of times. :D I know every song, I think. HAHAHA. It's kind of dorky, but I know the introduction to the CD, and I know the song that plays after that, and I think I might have gotten the order of the tracks memorized. HAHAHA. :D
Nice people are nice. I like nice people. Are you nice? I like you. :) Heee. Like Zai, Aaron, and Carrie, heck, even Ikhwan Daddy is nice. Beautiful people. (Don't be alarmed, if your name isn't here, it's because I've already mentioned you a million times, so you'd probably know you're nice. Ha. Ha)
I've been writing testimonials for everyone, God knows why, I just get in the mood, and I use that mood to my advantage, or not, but yeah, testimonials is what happens.
Guess what came in the mail today! My NZ Road Code book. It's got stuff I'd need to know for my driving test later this year. It's so cool. Hahaha. I'm gonna drive! Who'd have known being 15 has it's advantages.
Random fact: First impressions aren't usually correct.
Random lyric: Shut up, you talk too much.
My brother turned 13 today. :) We went to the Yacht club and we made them sing happy birthday. Hahahahaha. It rocked. I ate pavlova, makes me miss NZ.
Random lyric: Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful.
Tuesday 11 October 2005
Listening to: Lover I Don't Have To Love by Bright Eyes
The only reason I don't have multiple pictures of myself with people besides Far is because I never have a camera when I need it. Camera phones just aren't there for me either.
I nearly fell down the stairs today, that made Far mumble incoherently words that didn't mean anything, which made me laugh.
I might die soon. The clothes that are supposed to be drying outside are being aired with methane-contaminated smoke, even though smoke is pretty much contaminated in itself. So, everything I wear is infested with smoke bugs. Don't come near me people. Oh, yes, this may be the reason why there's no one else in my pictures other than me and my best friend.
I don't wear mini skirts. That is because I've seen a video where this guy pretty much proves that girls wearing mini skirts are way easy to rape.
Me dying soon might also have something to do with me having trouble living, with all these people strangly inviting themselves out of my life, with no word whatsoever, leaving me to start conversations starting with 'hi, hello, how are you, i'm fine, you? i'm fine too, what's up? nothing much, you? nothing much' consisting of only 'yes, no, okay, nothing, and i don't know'. These 'conversations' mean nothing, I'm just losing my touch for loving life. Life's great, it really is. But maybe it's just not my thing.
I don't like Cleo magazines, or Female. Cleo mostly contains nothing that I'd be interested in, and Female seems only for older people. I read Dolly. It has cool stickers and posters in them sometimes, and occationally something that captures me. Last month or something's issue had the Used sticker in it, which leaves me to mention that not only Fall Out Boy, but the Used are getting famous too. The power of MTV.
Do you like to hurt? I do, I do. Then, hurt me. Then, hurt me.
Lover I Don't Have To Love - Bright Eyes
I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you?
So it's up the stairs
And out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name you asked the time
Now it's two o'clock,
the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me
I'm pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure
I got the money if you got the time
You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try
Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers
They just play tragic
And the phone's ringing
And the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep keep singing
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
But you but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love is an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
"Do you like to hurt?"
"I do! I do!"
"Then hurt me."
The only reason I don't have multiple pictures of myself with people besides Far is because I never have a camera when I need it. Camera phones just aren't there for me either.
I nearly fell down the stairs today, that made Far mumble incoherently words that didn't mean anything, which made me laugh.
I might die soon. The clothes that are supposed to be drying outside are being aired with methane-contaminated smoke, even though smoke is pretty much contaminated in itself. So, everything I wear is infested with smoke bugs. Don't come near me people. Oh, yes, this may be the reason why there's no one else in my pictures other than me and my best friend.
I don't wear mini skirts. That is because I've seen a video where this guy pretty much proves that girls wearing mini skirts are way easy to rape.
Me dying soon might also have something to do with me having trouble living, with all these people strangly inviting themselves out of my life, with no word whatsoever, leaving me to start conversations starting with 'hi, hello, how are you, i'm fine, you? i'm fine too, what's up? nothing much, you? nothing much' consisting of only 'yes, no, okay, nothing, and i don't know'. These 'conversations' mean nothing, I'm just losing my touch for loving life. Life's great, it really is. But maybe it's just not my thing.
I don't like Cleo magazines, or Female. Cleo mostly contains nothing that I'd be interested in, and Female seems only for older people. I read Dolly. It has cool stickers and posters in them sometimes, and occationally something that captures me. Last month or something's issue had the Used sticker in it, which leaves me to mention that not only Fall Out Boy, but the Used are getting famous too. The power of MTV.
Do you like to hurt? I do, I do. Then, hurt me. Then, hurt me.
I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you?
So it's up the stairs
And out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name you asked the time
Now it's two o'clock,
the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me
I'm pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure
I got the money if you got the time
You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try
Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers
They just play tragic
And the phone's ringing
And the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep keep singing
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
But you but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love is an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
"Do you like to hurt?"
"I do! I do!"
"Then hurt me."
Friday 7 October 2005
Feeling: Depressed
I like my friends. Most of them are pretty nice, anyway. And who would have thought there ARE nice people in the world? Well, I didn't think so, until I realized that there are.
My speech was strange, not well, shitty even. At least I think so. I was too nervous, I forgot half my speech, so I didn't say those bits I forgot. And then, my legs were shaking like crazy, which they seem to do a lot of the time now, like today, after going out, I came home and my legs were shaking and I felt so exhausted for some reason. I nearly fainted. Okay, I exaggerate, I didn't nearly faint, but I might as well have collapsed. A part from my legs shaking, the air around that area was so freaking hot, so I was sweating, too. On top of that, I was trying to make my voice loud without me sounding like I was shouting, I don't know how that worked out, but that tired me out. So, all in all, my speech sucked. :) But, that's okay. 'Cause, I can't change it. Now that it's over, I think back and wish I could have resaid certain things or even SAID certain things, that way, people wouldn't have been staring at me with the 'what the hell are you on about' look on their faces, which they kind of were after my presentation. I got them aroused though, with all the pictures. So, maybe it wasn't so sucky, I even made them go 'oh, my god' at one time. :)
Just so you know, my speech was on why certain people are accepted in society today and why others aren't. And why less thin people are pushed aside from acceptance as the public are pressured to be thin and to think that they are ugly if they're not. So, yes, I hope people got that, if not, my speech was a flop, which I think it was.
I'm hungry. I haven't eaten all day. :) Except for one salted nut this morning. HAHA. That's so cool, isn't it? Maybe that's why I was so tired today.
I feel insecure, because someone says I'm getting fat, and they make that sound like a bad thing, like the world will stop if I get a little chubby. And what the hell. That is all about this matter. I'm not one to worry about my weight, but I start to wonder if people would NOT like me if I wasn't the way I am. Fucking poo.
On my internet explorer, there is this little toolbar with links on it. These links are words that appear on the page, and will lead to related-topiced pages. When I go to Broken Smile, up pops 'fucking', 'shit' and 'fuck' into the linky box thing. And like, okay. HAHA.
I don't sleep with the aircon on anymore, it leaks, and I don't like it leaking, so I've gotten used to no aircon in my room. I think this extra warmth has made me have dreams, because now, every night I have a dream. And these dreams are very weird, and they usually leave me feeling really scared when I wake up. I don't know why. The other night I dreamt of disabled people and rabbits and mooses. And I don't know what's scary about that, but I felt afraid. Weirdass dreams.
Other than that, exams start on the 17th. School finishes at 12PM and start at 7:40AM because of puasa now, andddd fucking hell, I'm hungry. Good bye.
I miss my babe. :(
I like my friends. Most of them are pretty nice, anyway. And who would have thought there ARE nice people in the world? Well, I didn't think so, until I realized that there are.
My speech was strange, not well, shitty even. At least I think so. I was too nervous, I forgot half my speech, so I didn't say those bits I forgot. And then, my legs were shaking like crazy, which they seem to do a lot of the time now, like today, after going out, I came home and my legs were shaking and I felt so exhausted for some reason. I nearly fainted. Okay, I exaggerate, I didn't nearly faint, but I might as well have collapsed. A part from my legs shaking, the air around that area was so freaking hot, so I was sweating, too. On top of that, I was trying to make my voice loud without me sounding like I was shouting, I don't know how that worked out, but that tired me out. So, all in all, my speech sucked. :) But, that's okay. 'Cause, I can't change it. Now that it's over, I think back and wish I could have resaid certain things or even SAID certain things, that way, people wouldn't have been staring at me with the 'what the hell are you on about' look on their faces, which they kind of were after my presentation. I got them aroused though, with all the pictures. So, maybe it wasn't so sucky, I even made them go 'oh, my god' at one time. :)
Just so you know, my speech was on why certain people are accepted in society today and why others aren't. And why less thin people are pushed aside from acceptance as the public are pressured to be thin and to think that they are ugly if they're not. So, yes, I hope people got that, if not, my speech was a flop, which I think it was.
I'm hungry. I haven't eaten all day. :) Except for one salted nut this morning. HAHA. That's so cool, isn't it? Maybe that's why I was so tired today.
I feel insecure, because someone says I'm getting fat, and they make that sound like a bad thing, like the world will stop if I get a little chubby. And what the hell. That is all about this matter. I'm not one to worry about my weight, but I start to wonder if people would NOT like me if I wasn't the way I am. Fucking poo.
On my internet explorer, there is this little toolbar with links on it. These links are words that appear on the page, and will lead to related-topiced pages. When I go to Broken Smile, up pops 'fucking', 'shit' and 'fuck' into the linky box thing. And like, okay. HAHA.
I don't sleep with the aircon on anymore, it leaks, and I don't like it leaking, so I've gotten used to no aircon in my room. I think this extra warmth has made me have dreams, because now, every night I have a dream. And these dreams are very weird, and they usually leave me feeling really scared when I wake up. I don't know why. The other night I dreamt of disabled people and rabbits and mooses. And I don't know what's scary about that, but I felt afraid. Weirdass dreams.
Other than that, exams start on the 17th. School finishes at 12PM and start at 7:40AM because of puasa now, andddd fucking hell, I'm hungry. Good bye.
I miss my babe. :(
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