I'm sick. Or in the process of getting sick. I've got a running nose, easily tired body, muscle aches and a would-be sore throat. The only thing left of what usually happens is the fever after the sore throat. :] Yay for sicknesses!

And this leaking nose of mine is very annoying because it is not only watery, but also blocked. So I can't sniff my boogers up, and I can't blow it out either. I'm stuck with vain attempts to suck it in, but only hearing the "sniff" sound and wiping my nose with a tissue only to find it useless and within 3 seconds, boogers will come streaming down my nostril. HAHAHA. Ew. And yes, I said nostril. Only one side is blocked and leaky, the other side is fiiine.

Biggest news today: I've figured out the biggest lie I've ever heard. And what 5 words deserve such a title? Drumroll please. Dum dum dum. I will love you forever.

:] Sound familiar?

Feeling: Sick
Listening to: Shallow Reasons by Stutterfly

I'm searching everywhere to find her again, to tell her I love her and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done. I find her standing in front of the church, the only place in town where I didn't search. She looks so happy in her wedding dress, but she's crying while she's saying this: Boy, I've missed your kisses all the time, but this is 25 minutes too late.

Bloody hell. I have this horrible headache that's making my temples throb with pain. Headaches come more often now; it's almost as if they're taking the place of my constant tummyaches. Hmm.

Here's the story of the little African boy that I promised I'd show you, for some reason:

Epaminondas's Mammy, she had been to see his Granny. Just as she got home she remembered something.
"Land's sake! Epaminondas, I sure been and done a dreadful silly thing."
"What you been and done, Mammy?"
"I been and left my umbrella behind. I ain't been and lost it, you understand, Epaminondas. I ain't been as silly as all that. I know just where I could lay my hand on it. What I been and done is to leave it at your Granny's."
"Yes, Mammy."
"I ain't really anxious like about it, Epaminondas, because I know it's there. I can't go back all that way now, and I sure won't have time tomorrow. Tell you what, Epaminondas. You think you could drive over to your Granny's in the donkey cart in the morning?"
"Yes, Mammy. I sure could drive over to Granny's in the morning."
"You can't make no mistake about it, Epaminondas, because as I say, I know just where you can lay your hand on that umbrella. Now listen, Epaminondas. You know your Granny's big clock in the corner of her sitting-room?"
"Yes, Mammy."
"Well, just in that corner by the clock you'll see my umbrella. Maybe your Granny, she hasn't noticed it. But you look careful, Epaminondas, and you'll see it. You can't help seeing it, Epaminondas, because quite certain sure I left it there. You understand, Epaminondas?"
"Yes, Mammy, I understand."
Next morning, just before Epaminondas started to his Granny's, his Mammy said to him:
"You might ask your Granny if she can spare me a few clothes-pegs, honey. I know she always has a mighty lot. The gypsies may not be along this way for a long time, and I'm real short of clothes-pegs."
"Yes, Mammy. I'll sure ask Granny to spare you a few clothes-pegs."
Then Epaminondas, he climbed into the little old donkey cart and drove off to his Granny's. Epaminondas's Granny, she was surprised and pleased to see him.
"Oh! Epaminondas, my own little grandson, Epaminondas. This is a nice surprise. Your Mammy sent you over with a message, Honey?"
"Yes, Granny. Mammy, she says please can you spare her a few clothes-pegs; she's real short of them?"
"A few clothes-pegs!"
Epaminondas's Granny, she was most surprised that his Mammy should send him all that long way for such a trifle.
"Sure, piccaninny, your Mammy shall have as many clothes-pegs as she likes, I've got a mighty lot. But you certain sure that is all the message your Mammy sent to me?"
"Yes, Granny. I'm sure that is all the message Mammy sent you, Granny."
"Say then, honey, you come right in and have some dinner. It is all ready and your Granddad is waiting."
So Epaminondas, he went in and he had dinner with the old folks. And during dinner, Epaminondas, he looked at his Granny's big clock, and he looked in the corner by the clock, and he saw his Mammy's umbrella standing there, just like she told him. He couldn't help seeing it, because it was there.
After dinner, when his Granny, she was washing up the dinner things, and Granddad, he was smoking his long pipe by the fire, Epaminondas, he went to the corner by the big clock, and he put his little hand in the corner like his Mammy told him, and there sure enough he felt his Mammy's umbrella.
Epaminondas, he couldn't help feeling it, because it was there. Epaminondas, he was pleased it was all just like his Mammy said. "Ain’t no mistake about that."
Just then Granny, she called from the kitchen. "Epaminondas, my honey, I’m afraid you’ll have to be getting along. You've got a long drive afore you, and I guess your Mammy wouldn't like me to keep you late. I'll go fetch them clothes-pegs your Mammy is wanting. Then you'd better get started."
"Yes, Granny, I guess I'd better get started right away."
So Epaminondas's Granny, she fetched the clothes-pegs and she kissed Epaminondas good-bye, and Granddad, he took his long pipe out of his mouth and he kissed Epaminondas good-bye. And the little piccaninny climbed into the little old donkey cart, waved his little black hand to his Granny and drove away.
Clip-clop! Clip-clop! Clip-clop!
At last Epaminondas, he reached his home again. His Mammy came running out when she heard the donkey cart.
"Granny surprised to see you, Epaminondas?"
"Yes, Mammy, Granny was surprised to see me."
"And was it all right about my umbrella, Epaminondas?"
"Yes, Mammy. It was all right about your umbrella, Mammy."
"And did you remember about them clothes-pegs?"
"Yes, Mammy, I sure remembered about them clothes-pegs." And Epaminondas, he gave his Mammy the packet of clothes-pegs.
"Then you haven't been and made any mistake today, Epaminondas?" Epaminondas’s Mammy, she was all smiling-like and pleased with her small piccaninny.
"No, Mammy. Guess I haven't made any mistake today."
"You are Mammy's good piccaninny. Now where's my umbrella, Epaminondas, I can’t find it in the cart? Wherever is it, honey?" His Mammy went on rummaging around the old donkey cart.
"It is in the corner by the big clock at Granny's, Mammy."
"In the corner by the big clock at Granny's? Land's sake! Epaminondas, you don't mean to tell me you been and left it behind there?"
"Yes, Mammy. I looked very careful in the corner by the big clock, like you said, Mammy. And I saw your umbrella – I couldn't help seeing it, Mammy. And I put my little hand in the corner, and I felt your umbrella. I couldn't help feeling it because it was there. You needn't be a bit anxious-like about it, Mammy, because I made quite sure it was there."
"Lawks a massey me! Epaminondas, why ever didn't you bring it home then?"
"Guess I didn't know you wanted me to bring it home, Mammy. You didn't say bring it home, Mammy, indeed you didn't."
"Sakes alive! Epaminondas. You haven't got the sense you were born with. You won't ever ever have the sense you were born with. Just as though your Mammy would send you all them miles just to see her umbrella, and to feel her umbrella. And your Granny must have thought your Mammy clean daft to send you that long way just to borrow a few clothes-pegs. You really are a silly coon."
"Yes, Mammy, guess I am, but I'm sure sorry."
"There, there, honey, you're safe, and umbrella's safe, so don't let's worry any. You'll just have to go over to your Granny's again tomorrow and fetch that umbrella."
"Yes, Mammy, I'll sure go again tomorrow and fetch that umbrella."
And he did.

And I only got 65% for speaking. 20 over 30 was our group mark, so actually I got 45 over 70, which is very sucky. My English teacher must really hate me.

Anyway.. Sunday, none of you came to see me at the beach. :[ Haha. Everyone who wasn't protected got sunburnt. Lucky I put on some sunblock that day, otherwise I'd be as red as them. My face is just a little flushed. :p And I've got pictures, which I'm not going to post here yet because I don't have them with me. If you all behave yourself, maybe - just maybe - I'll let you see them. So...

Behave yourselves.

Feeling: Excited
Listening to: Am I Wrong? by Brand New

I will leave this school with a smile on my face, a tear in my eye, and a "Weeeeeee," in my voice. :D

That's the yearbook thingy I decided to go with. Hahahaha. God, it's lame.

I have another English oral test on Monday, which will be part of our mid-year exam, and we had a choice to do a 10-minute presentation of either a news casting or expressive reading, from a play or something. My group hadn't done anything even though we had ages to prepare and the tests start on Monday, because you know, I'm a member of my group and I procrastinate, if nothing else. :D So, today we stayed back after school and we were looking for stories to use as a play in the library, and it's bloody hard to do that. Do you know how many stories we read that didn't have the right amount of characters and time spendature? No, you don't. Well, it took a really long time to find the perfect book and in the end, I picked up a book, read the first few pages of it and borrowed that one from the library. I must have this psychic ability to judge a book by it's cover. Haha. The book was printed in 1957 and was donated to the school in 1983. :D Effing old. The story we're using is about this little African kid who I will tell you about in another post.

Tomorrow I'm going to Seri Kenangan beach for a class trip thingy. So, if you're in Tutong, come look for me~

Something I wrote sometime last week:
Hard To Love
I am ugly.
Broken, tattered and torn.
I am mean.
Sadistic, unauthentic and worn.
I am sorry.
Forgotten, alone and dead.
I am empty.
Vacant, hollow and shred.
I am cursed.
Faded, needy and weak.
I am void.
Shattered, cold and bleak.
I am unworthy.
False, sick and scared.
I am lost.
Sarcastic, sore and impaired.
I am old.
Silly, useless and bruised.
I am lazy.
Corrupt, wrong and abused.
I am nothing.
Stupid, fake and silent.
I am guilty.
Hateful, useless and violent.
I am forbidden.
Spoiled, rotten and sly.
Yes, I may be hard to love.
But could you at least try?

Oh, and you know how crazy I am for V For Vendetta? Well, I looked up Guy Fawkes, and I'm convinced he was framed, and his reasons for wanting to blow up Parliament(if he did want to blow it up; there are certain facts pointing to the possibility of the whole thing being a set up) were just. You need to know more to understand. So, click, Goddammit, and agree.

And also, people celebrate the 5th of November by having a bonfire, which was representing the burning of Guy. And for centuries, people tied cats up and placed them in the interiors of the effigies to make desirable sound effects as they burned. How freakishly sickening. Haha. Click.

Feeling: Hungry

I pressed the '=' button on my calculator 2541 times at tuition today because I was bored. Hahaha. And I learnt that 2541 times 0.35 is 635.25 from doing that. :]

I have to come up with 20 awesome words to put into the school magazine this year. I had choices like "I am Moosey, hear me roar. Grr.", "I will leave this school saying 'Weeeeeeeeeee.'", "High school is an excuse to get hurt and to hurt. I've had my share of pain. Your turn.", "I've experienced life's terribles and wonderfuls at this school. Now, all I've got let to say is, 'Weeee.'", and "Let's grow up to be people we hate." but but I need the perfect one for people in the future to read and say "HAHAHAHAHA. That's awesome."

I spent 3 hours at the Mall on Sunday, one of them being when I was waiting for my car to come, but all of those 3 hours were great. :] That lamb and cow can scream. And sticking cheesy paper on the bottom of tables is very hardcore. *Nod nod.

And they(whoever they are)'ve discovered a new planet that they're calling Xena. How old is this news? I don't really know. I'm just the newsbearer.

I don't feel like smiling. So, this is fake -> :] and this comes from my crumbled insides:

Inside There Is Nothing, Nothing At All
Seems like the perfect place
For a hollow shell -
Everything I was meant to be.
Closed eyes mean nothing
But your fingers round my neck
Mean I've too much life in me.
I'm only going to waste.
I've got far too much love
That I'll never get to share.
And I know this all too well.
So, I lock it deep inside
And pretend there's nothing there.

It was originally just going to be
I've got too much life in me
I'm only going to waste;
Too much love in me
I'll never get to share.
And I know this all too well.
So, I lock it all inside
And pretend it isn't there.
And maybe that sounds better, but, uhh, meow.

Feeling: Needy
Listening to: The Brghtest Bulb Has Burned Out by Less Than Jake

Hehehehehehehehehehe.

Reverse Living by Norman Glass
Life is tough.
It takes up a lot of your time, all your weekends,
and what do you get at the end of it?
...Death, a great reward.
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way.
Then you should live twenty years in an old-age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young,
you get a gold watch, you go to work.
You work for forty years until you're
young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You go to college, you party until you're ready for high school,
you become a little kid, you play, you have no responsibilities,
you become a little boy or girl, you go back into the womb,
you spend your last nine months floating.
And you finish off as a gleam in someone's eye.

How to Get an A on Your Final Exam by Tony D'Angelo
During my senior year in college, I served as a teacher's assistant. One of my roles was to administer and proctor the exams. The class was a freshman introductory course, which had well over five hundred students.

The students were given four exams during the semester and one cumulative final exam at the semester's end. In order to manage these five hundred college freshmen, I had to establish rules. The rules were as follows. The exams began at exactly 9:00AM. The students would pick up their test booklets and blue books and proceed to a seat of their choosing. They would have exactly fifty minutes to complete the examination. At exactly 9:50AM, I would call out, "Pencils down!" Everyone had to stop writing immediately, put their pencils down, proceed to the front of the room and turn in their blue books. Those who did not put their pencils down at exactly 9:50AM and turn in their blue books would receive an automatic F, no exceptions!

When final exam time came, the students were so indoctrinated into the system that I only needed to announce one warning at 9:40AM. So as the final minutes ticked away, I announced, "It is 9:40. You have ten minutes until pencils down." Then at 9:50AM, I barked my last command for that semester: "It's 9:50, pencils down. You know the rules!" And boom, all pencils went down, just like always. All 500 studnets stood-or was it only 499? Yes it was. Everyone filled the aisle except for one sneaky guy-a guy way up in the nosebleed section.

He was just writing and writing away. I saw him up there, but he didn't think I could. Once again, I barked, "Pencils down everyone!" But he kept writing and writing, trying to beat my system. How dare he! Boy, would I get him! At 9:58AM, as I began to organize the stacks of examination packets, I saw this young man running down the aisle to surrender his exam to the table.

"Here, Mr. D'Angelo, take my blue book!" he huffed and puffed.
"I cannot accept this. You know the rules. Pencils down at 9:50AM, or you get an automatic F."
"Please, Mr. D'Angelo, take my blue book!"
"No! You know I can't do that. It's against the rules."
"Please, please, take my blue book. I'm barely passing thisclass. My mom and dad will kill me if I have to repeat this class. Just take it, and no one will ever know." A tear began to stream down his cheek.

"I'm sorry. I just can't." I went back to the stacks, organizing them one by one. The young man just turned and walked away with his shoulders slumped.

Now with a stack of five hundred or so blue books in my arms, I watched the freshman walk up the stairs toward the exit. Just about at the halfway point, I saw him boldly turn around, with great confidence, you might say with a hint of arrogance. He swiftly jogged down to me.

He questioned softly, "Mr. D'Angelo, do you know who I am?"
"Why no, and frankly I couldn't care less."
"Are you sure you don't know who I am?" he inquired with even greater confidence. I started to get a little concerned. Was this the dean's son? What had I gotten myself into?
"No, I'm sorry. I don't," I said with a little hesitation in my voice.
"Are you absolutely, 100 percent sure that you don't know who I am?"
"For the last time, no, I don't know who you are!"
"Well then, good!" and he shoved his blue book into the middle of the stack and ran out the door.

Taken from Chicken Soup For The College Soul. They just make me smile. :]

Survey #1

Survey #2

1. Who did you talk to the most so far today? - Grenade. Haha. 2. What are you wearing in the best picture ever taken of you? - I don't think I have a best picture ever of me. :[ 3. Finish these lyrics.: So don't pull on my hand boy... - I cheated. I googled for it, and I can't believe you tried to make me sing a Black Eyed Peas song. And not just any song, the My Humps song. How dare you? 4. Have you ever thought about bird houses for more then 2 minutes? - I don't think so. My mind wanders as much as it doesn't. 5. What are some of the things you usually think about on your way to school? - What I'm going to tell Far when I get there. My homework that I didn't do and umm, what I'm going to have for breakfast. 6. What would make you happier, if I gave you a ring pop or i threw 3 dollars at you? - Throw the money at me. Throw it! 7. If you had to choose one of your friends to be for a month, who would it be? - A month's an awfully long time. And my reasons for wanting to be someone else are rather strange, so I'd prefer not to say. :D 8. What is the third word in your profile? - It's a hard question to answer, silly survey. Be more specific. 9. Did you dance with anybody at your last dance? (If you have them) - Umm. No. And I don't dance, for good reasons, too. 10. If so who? (i ask a lot of questions) - There was no dance. I didn't dance. And if I did, I wouldn't have in the first place, so HAH. 11. What is your least favorite type of movies? - Umm. Ones with stupid story lines and bad actors like The Hangman's Curse or Trucks. 12. Are you jealous of at least over 2 people? - I'm jealous of everyone cause that's just how we were - never satisfied. Haha. Neh. Jealousy is wrong. 13. Do you have a story you know you tell a lot but continue to tell it anyway? - I have lots of stories I know I tell alot but continue to tell anyway. 14. Name one show you get mad at yourself if you miss. - Invader Zim/Boston Public, when they were still on TV. :[ I loved my IZ and BP, why did I have to miss so many of their episodes? 15. What are some of the things you do when you are truely happy? - Laugh at everything, and keep talking and talking like it's nobody's business. 16. Do you think myspaces are over-rated? - No, I don't even think they're rated. 17. Do you have any inside jokes involving numbers? - Nope. I've one involving chocolate though. 18. What did the last pair of shoes that you bought look like? - Black and grey high top chucks with black rubber toe cap things. 19. I dare you to name 2 people off of Full House? - Michelle and uhh Stephanie? Haha. I don't know their character names, does that make me unrad? 20. Has Amy ever called you? - Yes! Who's Amy? 21. What is your favorite era? (Like 60's 70's)? - 70's, my friend. The most awesome time; when punk rock music was at it's purest and Sid Vicious was still alive. 22. Sum up your summer in...uh 6 words. - My summer is all year round. There. 6 words. 23. When did you first make Comix? - What is Comix? 24. Do you have any people who's screename starts with i on your buddy list? - I guess so. I'm not going to check this time though. You check. 25. What is the first number of your telephone number multiplied by the last number of it? - 8 X 5 = 40. I know maths! 26. Name two words that rhyme. - Kill and spill. 27. Why was the last thing you laughed at so funny? - Because I was sleepy and when I'm sleepy, everything is funny. 28. What do you think is the dumbest movie out now? - The Date Movie? Hee. 29. Type 3 pokemon's names in all caps. - PIKACHU, JIGGLYPUFF and MEOWTH. Hahahahaha. 30. What job creeps you out? - I don't know. I can't be bothered to think. Go away, evil survey.

Q1) Ever been given a ring? No. Hehe. Sad, sad. Q2) Longest relationship? 18 months. And all those months I devoted myself to a stupid asshole. :] Q3) Last gift you gave? A toothbrush! Hahaha. To the cow. We're so rad. Q4) How many times have you dropped your cell? Lots and lots and lots of times. I dropped my last cell so hard, the LCD screen cracked and all the blue stuff came out. Haha. Q5) Last sport played? Volleyball. The only sport I play. :] Q6) Things you spend alot of money on? Clothes, shoes and food. Q7) Three things you ate last? Salt and vingar chips, an egg and ice cream. Q8) What you notice first about the opposite sex? The hair and his piercings. Haha. Q9) One favorite song: Misterio by Slapshock. Who can resist the sexy shrieks of the Filipinos? :] Q10) Where do you live? I used to live under a rock, but I moved into a pineapple. Like Spongeboob. Q11) High school you attended? Chung to the Hwa to the lame. Q12) Cell phone service provider? DST? Haha. God, you're weird. Q13) Favorite Mall? The one in Hastings, NZ, cause that's where I found the Funeral For A Friend CD that I didn't buy. Q14) Longest job held? Umm. It was a part-time one that was on and off for 2 years as a tour co-ordinator. :] Q15) Do you own a pair of dice? Yes. If you call owning finding and keeping. Q16) Do you prank call people? Hee. No, I'm nice and there are no bars in Brunei where I can call up asking for Homer Sexual. Q17) Last wedding attended? Last year; my sister's boyfriend's sister's wedding. :p Q18) First friend you call if you won the lottery? Far, cause like, we're tight. HAHAHA. I said 'tight'. Q19) Last time you attended church? Last year, in NZ, the only place where I go to something that can be called something close to a church. Q20) Favorite fast food restaurant? Pizza Hut. Not Brunei's though. :p And and Burger King! Q21) Biggest lie you've heard? HEHEHEHEHE. That my sister was married? Q22) Where do you work? At the local CD shop and at the cinema. I'm so not lying. HEE. Ok. I don't have a job. I don't go to work. Q23) Where do you go to college? I don't go to college. But I'd like to go to yours, if you'd let me. Q24) Can you cook? Yesss. I can cook magical pies and throw them at you. Q25) What kinda car do you like? A rad one that works. :] Q26) Best kisser? Me. Hahahaha. Neh. Q27) Last time you cried? While I was watching V For Vendetta. I'm a little weird, yes. Just a little bit. Q28) Most hated food? Bittergourd. It's gross. Q29) Thing you like most about yourself? Haha. Hakim said he likes his gay looks. HAHAHA. Back to me. I like my hair, when it's pretty. If I had a lip piercing, that would be it. Q30) Thing you hate most about yourself? My constant neediness and loner-like characteristics. Q31) Have a secret you can't tell? Yes. It's so secretive, I can't even think about it. Q32) Longest shift worked? 16 hours? Or more? I cannot remember. :D I finished at 2AM, or something. Q33) Favorite movie? Interview With The Vampire. Anne Rice + young Kirsten Dunst + Tom Cruise + Brad Pitt = ♥ Q34) Can you sing? Sureeeee. And ruin your eardrums while I'm at it. Q35) Last concert attended? The Peterpan one in January. HAHA. Q36) Favorite restaurant? Fratini's. :] Cause. It's just fancy. Q37) Last movie watched? AHHHHHH. The Breakfast Club. STOP ASKING. Q38) Favorite alcoholic drink? Vodka. Screwdriver. Or something fancier, maybe. Q39) Things you never leave home without? My eyes, nose, hands and stuff. Q40) Immediate vacation spot? What the hell. Does that mean. Q41) Reason you did this survey? Hakim made it look rad, bish.

Feeling: Intoxicated
Listening to: Almost by Bowling For Soup

Let's take a look at the Billboard top 100 album charts.
9th: Atreyu's A Death-Grip On Yesterday
11th: Yeah Yeah Yeahs's Show Your Bones
24th: Panic! At The Disco's A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
40th: Hawthorne Heights's If Only You Were Lonely
47th: Rammstein's Rosenrot
80th: From First To Last's Heroine
90th: Flyleaf's Flyleaf

Awesome, yes?

I was given the choice to go to Miri, where I could get the new things I so desperately craved for but which meant I'd miss Zaz's birthday party later. I was debating the whole of yesterday which one to attend. Miri, or party. I flipped coins, they said Miri. In the end, I decided to stay in Brunei for the party because, well, I'd be going to Miri with my sister and her friends and you know how they often end up doing something stupid, so here's 2 surveys!

Survey #1

1. are you over 15? + 15 what? Monkeys? No. Toothpicks? I think so. 2. what is the wallpaper on ur cellphone? + Hehehe. Silly question. 3. did you get enough sleep last nyte? + I guess so. I didn't fall asleep in class, but I did go to sleep when I got home from school. 4. first thing you thought about this morning when you woke up? + Am I going to Miri? I guess not. 5. what do you have on your bed? + Pillows, t-shirts, blankets and it actually has no sheets right now cause I washed it and I was too lazy to put another one on it. HAHAHA. 6. ever tried to skip meal? + Not on purpose. It just happens. I mean, who remembers to eat? :] 7. grilled or fried? + Grilled. It sounds better and the word 'fried' makes me think of oil. 8. what makes you unique? + I can make duck sounds. :] Neh. I'm not unique, I'm like everyone else. Just another copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a someone. 9. are you afraid of the dark? + No? But I do sleep with the light on. :D And if you turn if off, I'll turn it back on. But nooo I'm not afraid of the dark. 10. fave movies? + Movies that speak to me like the Green Mile, the Feast Of All Saints and Boys Don't Cry. Yes, movies speak to me. 11. 3 thgs you cant live without? + Air, food, water. Easy peasy. Haha. I bet you were expecting a better answer. 12. first thing you will buy if given one thousand dollars? + Depends on my financial situatino when I get it. If I need the money, I'll use it for those needs first. If I don't need it, I'd donate some to people who need it cause I'm like so awesome. And then I'll run for Miss Universe. 13. favourite songs you like to listen before sleep? + This and that and this. Oh, and that. 14. what are you afraid of? + Big gigantic cockroaches, big gigantic spiders, and you. You're scary. And not the dark. See. I'm not afraid of the dark. And I'm afraid of swimming in the ocean and giving birth. :] Hardcore. 15. are you a giver or a taker? + I don't give people anything, I'm selfish. 16. what are your nicknames? + Vodka, Moosey, Sue, Annie. 17. what's ur dad's middle name? + Derek. :D Why? You fancy him, do you? 18. most recent movie that you watched? + The Breakfast Club. :] I like that movie. You should watch it too. Or better yet, we should watch it together. But then again, I have a knack for liking movies no one else likes. 19. if you were invisible for a day, what would you do? + Scare the fuck out of people by speaking to them and pulling down their pants and other mean things! :D No, nooo. I would find a cure for AIDS, even though that has nothing to do with invisibility but who cares? I'd be invisible! 20. stuck on a deserted island & could have only one kind of food for the rest of ur life, what would it be? + Grass. I'm a moose. But if I were a human, I'd say pizza 'cause like pizza everyday = whoa. 21. fave tv commercial? + The one for safe sex! HAHAHA. "If you ain't got the rubba, there'll be no hubba hubba." 22. how long do you like him/her? + All my life. I mean, like, I'll like him/her forever. Who are you talking about anyway? 23. first thing you'll save in a fire? + Me, I guess. HAHAHA. Dumbass. 24. your eye colour? + Browny orangy yellowy. It's a new kind of colour. They just discovered it. 25. what are the things you always bring? + Bring where? I need to knowwwww. :[ 26. who's on ur mind ryte now? + Santa Claus. He just ate the milk and cookies but didn't give me any presents last Christmas. 27. what do you usually do when the clock turns 7am? + Depends what day it is, doofus. If it's a school day, I should be getting ready to be late for school, and if it's not a school day, I'd either not be asleep yet (which is when I'd be acting and looking like a zombie on drugs) or sleeping (which is when I'd be acting and looking like a sleeping zombie on drugs). 28. the colour of ur bedsheet? + Hehehehe. How funny. I just mentioned my bedsheets in question 5. I have no bedsheets right now. 29. who do you want to meet? + You and you and you and you and all the other copies of copies of copies of copies in the world. 30. how's life today? + Lifey. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lifey.

Survey #2

1. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? Depends what you mean by 'first kiss'. I think my mum gave me my first kiss, but I don't know. It could have been a freaky paedophilic nurse who has crushes on new born babies. 2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons? Haha. I thought it said 'plastic bags'. :] Well, if it's spoons, I'd make a spoon pyramid! 3. What did you do when you weren't in school in the 2nd grade? Go to my best friend's house. Pretend to be sleeping so my grandmother wouldn't tell me off. Play with Barbies with my brother. 4. What is the best thing about your job? My job as supermoose? I think it would have to be the fame. The fame is brilliant. And all my fans. I love my fans. 5. Do you like more than one person right now? If I didn't, that would be really sad. HAHA. 6. Are you against same sex marriage? No, love is love. In fact, I know a couple of guys who'd like to get married online. :D GRENADE + HAKIM. = ♥ 7. Did you vote for Bush? I'm not American, but if I was, I wouldn't have. Did you vote for Bush? 8. Where are you going on your next vacation? Back to my home planet, Venus. :] 9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? I went to Singapore. And I was a wittew baby. 10. Are most of your friends guys or girls? Majority is guys, I'd say. What do you say? 11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? I don't know. I don't own any furniture. HEHE. 12. Last book you read? I'm still reading it. Violin by Anne Rice. It's taking me forever to finish. Haha. 200 more pages to go. 13. If you could have one super power what would it be? Telekinesis or the power to read minds. \m/ 14. Where have you lived most of your life? If you'd asked me last last year, I would have said 7 years here and 7 years NZ so it would have been equal and that would have been cool. But since you asked me this year, Brunei it is. 15. What was the last conversation you had about? My mum said something, but I don't know what she said so I guess that wasn't a conversation. Oh well. 16. Where do you see yourself in four years? I can't actually see my self in four years. I'd probably be interviewing Emery for an article in Alt Press. HAHA. Or I'd still be studying or something. 17. What's your favorite smell? Rain, grass after rain, freshly cut grass, whiteboard markers, paint. I can't decide. It's one of those though. 18. What is your favorite sound? Sexy screams. HEHE. And the sound of glass jars being opened. 19. Are you moody? All girls get moody once a month. No big deal. 20. What's your favorite movie of all time? I don't know. I don't think I have one. 21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your classmate? What does 'vindictive' mean? Ohhh. No. 22. Have you ever gone to therapy? No. But I'd like to. 23. Have you ever played Spin the bottle? Not properly. Haha. 24. Have you ever toilet-papered someone's house? No. Maybe I should do that one day to make my life complete. 25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? Yeah, sure. 26. Have you ever gone camping? Is camping putting up a tent in your dad's backyard and sleeping in it? Is camping sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag at school? No? Then I guess I've never gone camping. Haha. Another thing to do to make my life complete. 27. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's friend? Highly unlikely. I told youuu, I have crushes on all hot guys with a nice personality and killer music preferences. I'm not sure if any of my sister's friends were like that. 28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach? No. Hehe. Nude beach. 29. Have you ever gone streaking? Yes. Ok. No. I'd like to have streakers on my birthday though. Like that My Sweet Sixteen episode. :D 30. Have you ever had a stalker? Yes, and I suppose they know who they are. 31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? What is with surveys and asking the same questions? 32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? Teared. I've laughed hard enough to tear. 33. Have you ever gone to a party where you didn't know anyone? No. Hehe. What was I doing there? 34. Have you ever been in love? Booo. Ahem. Love is an excuse to get hurt and to hurt. 35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend? Yes. It's human nature to feel betrayed and to betray. Oh wait, no. Not my best friend. I thought you were talking about someone else. :] 36. Have you ever lied to your parents? Sure have. Have you ever not lied to your parents? 37. Have you ever been out of the US? I'm out of the US now. But tell me, how do I get in the US? Oh. That was a stupid question, Moosey. 38. Have you ever thrown up from working out? No. Hee. I'd watched someone throw up from working out though. His face went green. It was awesome. 39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight? Haha. No. I don't think I'd be able to, even if it was that bad. 40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day? I don't think so. Haha. Fast food freak. 41. Last song you listened to? Do You Feel At Home? by Commander Venus. 42. Have you ever spied on someone? Honestly? Yes. HAHAHA. I'm a weirdo. 43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers? Hahaha. Yes. Smart question to ask a 15-year-old. 44. Have you ever seen your best friend naked? No. And I don't plan to. It would be weird, that's all. 45. Who was the last person who called you? Benjalo. Haha. My cousin. 46. When was the last time you slept for more then 12 hours straight? Last year, I think. Holiday time. :D Sleeping for 12 hours straight is niceeeee. 47. Have you ever been arrested? Eh. Stop asking the questions other surveys have already asked me. 48. Most embarassing CD you own? Not telling you. It's too embarrassing. And HAH! You spelt embarrassing wrong. 49. Have you ever stolen anything? Yes. But let's not get into that. :p I was a naughty little girl possessed by an unhappy ghost. 50. Have you ever drinken egg nog? I alawys hear that, but I don't even know what it is. :[

Oh, and yes, it is 6:20AM, light outside and I haven't gone to bed yet.

HERE ARE PICTURES!
Neh. I was kidding. No, pictures. I've just always wanted to do that. :D

Feeling: Deaf, blind and dumb
Listening to: Headbutts For Handcuffs by Madelyn

If you were lucky enough to read the post I made last last night, then good for you. It was up for 2 minutes, and then I deleted it because I just thought it didn't need to be posted up for the whole world to see. Something about lies and dirty little secrets. Things that personal don't need to be subjected to your false impressions and naive minds.

God. I don't feel like typing. Wednesday, I walked to Yayasan all by myself, and this policeman talked to me. Yesterday, I walked to Yayasan with Hakiim cause his school team was playing basketball against my school, so he came to CHMS for that, and yeah.
Note: Hakiim was a bad cow today and yesterday. *pulls his tail. And HE SHAVED HIS HEAD.

Later today, I have to go to school because of extra classes and how lame is that? :[

Feeling: Like a zombie
Listening to: Miles Away by Slapshock

Get ready for a long post. I was going to post this on March 30th but I thought it would be really lame posting 3 times in a day, so I saved it for today. Another thing that I was going to do that day was my English essay, but I checked my timetable and I didn't have English yesterday so, haha, screw you.

Yay! More pointless surveys to give you reason to think I'm mentally insane.

Survey #1

TEN FIRSTS: 1.First best friend + Erin. :D From before kindergarten. 2.First Cat + I've never had a cat. Maybe I should get one. And it will be called Cat. 3.First Dog + GOD, I FORGOT HIS NAME. Let me cry a river. :[ 4.First Piercing + My earlobes at the age of tiny. Hahaha. Ok, at the age of young. Hahaha. Ok, serious this time. At the age of 4?3?5? Pick a number. 5.First Big Movie + Big movie as in first movie watched at the cinema? That was Hunchback of Notre Dame. :D I remember because my mum wanted it to be a surprise for me and my siblings. So, she didn't tell us where we were going and she put pillowcases over our heads. It was awesome. 6.First Crush + I've answered this a thousand times before. A guy called Bradley, dammit. 7.First Car + I've never owned a car. But if I did, it would be a rad one. A rad one that works. 8.First Stuffed Animal + How the hell am I supposed to remember? I probably got it way before my memory can venture. Maybe even when half of me was still a sperm and the other half an egg. 9. First Love + Love. I thought I was so very deeply in love once, but it was just a lie. So, I guess, I never had a true love yet. 10.First Medal + I believe it was for long jump or something in primary 6. NINE LASTS: 1.Last alcohol you drank? + Vodka, doi. Like ages ago. Last month or something. 2.Last Vehicle Ride + Home from school yesterday. 3.Last CD Played + Radja's Langkah Baru which I bought in Bali for less than $5. :D Radness much. 4.last cried? + Umm. I teared a little during V For Vendetta at that scene where the parents couldn't accept the fact that Valerie was homosexual, kicked her out of the house and threw her baby picture that her mother was crying over in the rubbish bin. :[ It is saaad. 5.Last Hug + It was to/from the cow. Hard to tell. Wish it had been a real hug. Haha. Wish it had been raining. No, snowing. Wish it had been snowing. 6.Last thing you ate? + Tapioca chips. They were bloody nice, man. My new love. ♥ 7.Last kiss? + I kissed my sister's hand when she told me about the thing that cannot be posted here for personal reasons. Does that count? I guess it does. 8.Last time you watched TV? + This afternoon. :) The Nanny was on. Haha. I actually watch the Nanny. Reminds me of the days I lived in New Zealand when Steve Urkle was on TV. 9. Last person you had a serious talk? + Hakiim. Refer to one of the posts made yesterday. After you've done that, come up here and read this: HAHAHAHA. EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS: 1.Have you ever dated your best friend? + No. Hehe. That would be weird. Most of the people I 'dated' were assholes, anyway, so they're not my best friends, sugar. 2.Have you ever been arrested? + No, but I've been in a police car, been questioned by the police and had my name and address written down for them. But still, I've never been arrested. :D 3.Have you ever skinny dipped? + Only in the bath tub. Haha. Ok, that was lame. I'm very insecure about being naked in front of people, so I don't think I'd ever skinnydip unless all other human beings are dead. 4.Have you ever been on TV? + I don't think so. But then again, I might be living like that Jim Carey movie where his whole life was being filmed and he didn't know it. It's possible. My life is like a movie. Haha. 5.Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it? + I used to regret, but now I don't really mind. Haha. I guess the only time I'd ever truly regret it is if I kissed a guy after he'd been smoking. That would be regretable, yes? 6.Have you ever had a dream about someone you knew? + This is the dumbest question ever. Yes, I've dreamt about someone I know. I've also dreamt of someone I don't know, and someone I made up in my head. 7.Have you ever felt like your parents favor one sibling over another? + Yes. And I think it's very unfair and wrong. :[ Ask me about it on MSN, I have tragic stories to tell you. 8. Have you ever loved someone? + Let me repeat myself. I thought I was so very deeply in love once, but it was just a lie. So, I guess, I never had a true love yet. BUT if you're just asking if I ever loved someone without any other meaning than the surface of those words, then yes. I love my friends, family, favourite bands, and the specially beautiful people in the world. FIVE THINGS YOU LOVE TO DO + Listen to/download old/new music, go to the movies, receive/give hugs, eat yummy food knowing it's healthy, and laugh. FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL [ALMOST] ANYTHING TO: + Far, my sister, Zyy, Hakiim. They're people I know won't judge me no matter what stupid thing I say and I love them for it. THREE CHOICES: 1. Taking pictures or getting your picture taken? + I think I'd rather be behind the camera, so taking pictures is my fancy. But, if there are bands involved, taking my picture with them would be hot. :D Haha. I sound like Paris Hilton. That's hot. 2. Math or science? + Here's the dilemma: I love mathematics, but I hate just the thought of additional maths. I love theoretical physics, practical chemistry and both theoretical and practical biology, but hate practical physics, and theoretical chemistry. It's hard to choose. 3. Shopping for yourself or others? + I love getting new things. And me shopping for others is me buying things that I think are rad, but(and there is always a but), there's nothing like shopping for something that someone would love, and seeing the joy on their face when you give it to them.

Survey #2

this is a girl survey. so, hi girlfriend! = hello~ 'sup? in the age of what u start to have period? = February 8 2002 I think. Haha. So, that would make me what? 80? 11? what kind of tampon do u use? = Haha. Hey, DOCTOR COWWWWW! I don't use tampons. I could get Toxic Shock Syndrom. what kind of facial foam do u use? = Clean and Clear. Let me check. Neh, can't be bothered checking. whats ur fav. brand? = Haha. Fuck, man. I thought that said 'band'. But uhh, favourite brand, I don't go for that capitalist branding stuff. The only branded things I care about are shoes. :) Quality, people. And awesomeness. Anyway, back to the topic of brands. My favourite shoe brand is Converse. Predictable. do u think boys are stupid? = That reminds me of this calendar I saw in NZ. The theme was 'boys are stupid'. Haha. Yes, some boys are stupid. do u like to wear short skirts? = No, thank you. Not since I watched that video that convinced me that short skirts only make girls more vulnerable to rape. Easy targets these girls in short skirts. who's ur boyfriend? = Boyfriend? I have a boyfriend?! :D Raaad. Is he hot? are u ready for lipkiss? = Lipkiss. That's like one word. Does that word exist? I'm telling your English teacher. what kind of lipgloss do u use? = I rarely use lip products. But when I do, it's because my lips are dry and they need some protection. fav. make up? = I rarely use make up, too. Haha. But when I do, it'll be eyeliner. I have awesome red eyeliner that kicks fucking butt. fav. boutique? = Boutiques. I don't believe I've ever been to one. Yay me. what size is ur bra? = You know, you should just ask what's your cup size, cause that other number in bra sizes is just your body diameter where the bra goes around and connects. Haha. Body diameter. do u like to use g-string? = I don't believe I tried. But I don't think it's comfortable. I don't know. Haha. I wouldn't want to use one when I have my period. what kind of brand u like for underclothes? = Triumph. Pierre Cardin produce rad-ass bras though. do u like to wear heels? = I don't know how to wear heels. I only know how to wear boots with heels. And boots with heels are gorgeous, mates. which do u prefer, blond or brunette? = Redhead? Ok. Brunette. which do u prefer to be, a model or an actress? = Actresses actually model, you know. And models have to act to get the right expression and body language. Sooo, it doesn't really matter. But hey, I pick model. Do u own a dress? = No dresses that fit me, only skirts. does ur mom ALWAYS gets on ur nerves? = No, not always. :) And I spell it 'mum' cause I'm British. Haha.

Do you like words? Here's the 1,000 word essay I worked my ass off writing that 'was not selected'. It's really boring though, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Realising economic diversification through science and technology for Negara Brunei Darussalam
By Sue-Anne Coventry

For many years, Negara Brunei Darussalam has been solely dependent on the oil and gas industry to earn revenue. However, as oil and gas are non-renewable resources, it is clear that we cannot rely on this industry alone to sustain the economy of the country for eternity. Instead of forming new industries, I believe the next best thing would be to consider more versatile ways of receiving income within the industry range that already exists.

As urban populations flourish, technologies and practices that were used earlier and previously declared as appropriate will not necessarily be the best resolutions to the problems our economy will face in the modern world. Negara Brunei Darussalam does have minor industries, other than oil and gas, underway, and because of this, it only seems more proper to support the idea of diversifying the economy through science and technology so as to meet the economy’s goals ecologically while turning these ‘minor industries’ into majorities, for the reason that globally, science and technology improvements are being recognized as having increasingly significant roles in the economic movement of a nation.

It seems that to become economically powerful, science, technology and the economy have to be accepted as incorporation, instead of as detached articles, and the particular country in question needs to strengthen its competitiveness as best it can in the international market, which is reliant on its enabling infrastructure. In the past, an economy’s infrastructure may have been referring to telephone access, roads, rail and bridges, but today, it comprises of nearness to airports, fiber optics associations, and speedy Internet admittance.

As is usually the case, the involvement of the government monetarily will be needed to initiate this scientific and technical approach, and thus, giving us all the more reason to believe that only developed countries - those that can afford it – are able to perform this task for pecuniary expansion. Conversely, it is the developing countries in particular that have shown a visible increase in the speed of economic growth due to the roles of science and technology in their country. In spite of this, the full potential for science and technology to revolutionize or ease the troubles of the world's swelling cities has not yet been realized. Nonetheless, due to our economy’s prosperity with the oil and gas industry over the years, it is obvious that our country is more or less well-off, and I see no reason why our people are not capable of performing the chore at hand.

With the progress in transportation, communication systems, public health, agricultural and industrial production in various cities that have undergone evolution, it is understandable why the advancement in science and technology is so imperative. By following these cities’ examples, science and technology can be used to our country’s advantage, which will mean more efficient industries – including tourism and medicinal - as we all know that modern tools are far better than the flimsy utensils our ancestors geared themselves up with in the times of yore. This is evidently obvious in the agricultural department, where traditional ways of farming are near to being completely overruled by contemporary machinery. So, funding for the purchasing and installing of proficiency-enhancing technologies for the people of Negara Brunei Darussalam’s use is vital.

Besides that, growing human capital is also an important factor in the process of broadening the economy. Therefore, it is necessary that our schools and their educational systems are able to create outstanding scientists and engineers equipped with the abilities required to become brilliant people capable of leadership and of being entrepreneurs within their societies.

To smooth the progress of economic development across the region, utilization of all potential resources of the country, including use of facilities and expertise that provide technical assistance, training, seminars and response consulting is advised. Upholding the employment of recent science and engineering graduates is encouraged in an attempt to help companies approve, obtain, combine or commercialize new technologies, and these graduates will supply businesses with helpful technological know-how to expand or adapt new or already existing technology.

This is needed as much as partnerships are required to be formed with economic development agencies, communities and individuals working to expand the employment base, in order to offer necessary consulting services to provide instructions for national initiatives in science and technology and a well-built basis for a policy outline. These partnerships will also be useful when it comes to collecting the resources of the technology entities present in the area so that inquiries formed at local colleges is changed into innovations to endorse long-lasting economic development and revitalization on top of a positive conversion of discouraged metropolitan neighbourhoods.

The administration should give as much support as possible to the industries that strive to help develop and break the barriers of commercializing revolutionary environmental technologies. Observation of programs and undergoing of associative events should also be done by the management in order to provide clients with deliberate and appropriate information on the latest funding opportunities.

With this economic advancement, we can ensure that science and technology is put to good application by also using them for emergency technologies, which is machinery used to obtain electricity from renewable sources of power like water, sun rays and wind. This is environmentally-safe, and these organically occurring assets can replace or renew themselves naturally, as a result, it proves as the best form of obtaining electricity, being inexpensive and limitless which is excellent for the economy.

Despite all I have acknowledged, in truth, the only thing needed to execute this economic development is co-operation among the inhabitants of our country. Since it involves the whole of the nation to expand economically, without co-operation, we have nothing.

By using science and technology to our advantage, it will help the economy grow and consequently, it creates jobs and maintains a firm and stable financial foundation as may be desirable for the country. This is why economic diversification is so important for a budding independent society like Negara Brunei Darussalam, and what better way to achieve it than through science and technology?

I just read though that, and no wonder I 'wasn't selected'. What am I talking about? I'm like "The intervention of the government in the enhancement of the economy is required so that the international societies will realize its imperitiveness globally and we may become finanially stable as is desirable for such a country." Like a robot. Do people talk like that? Hahaha. My only excuse is I finished writing that at 2:30AM on a school morning. Or maybe I'm a robot. Maybe we're all robots.