Feeling: Decayed
Listening to: Jujur by Radja

"Her eyelashes are black and long - they seem to be the stitching around her eyes, holding all the fabric that is her together. I fight the urge to pull one and watch her unravel like an old sweater." - Pete Wentz's words. I thought it was funny. :p

I've come across another and, so far, the best definition of psychopathic personality: A person characterized by emotional instability, lack of sound judgment, perverse and impulsive behavior, inability to learn from experience, and amoral and asocial feelings. Take note of the impulsive behaviour and inability to learn from experience.

And take a look at this. The hippo lost it's mother in the tsunami and now it follows this old turtle around all day. Cute.

Feeling: Dead
Listening to: Venus And Bacchus by Saetia

Your IQ score is 126! (No, not yours, mine.)

You have an unusually strong balance between verbal and mathematical skills combined with strong visual skills. However, the main reason that you are an Inspired Inventor is that your idea centre never shuts down, and you may not even be aware when your brain is working on the next great idea.

You are particularly adept at brainstorming or devising multiple solutions for any problem and this is the reason people flock to you for fresh ideas, advice, and insight.

Haha. Yeh, whatever.

I'm downloading MP3s from this site that lets you sample different types of emo, they even come with definitions of the terms. Click. I'm almost finished downloading all of them.

Uhh. Tonight's MSN conversation with Hakiim. Guess which one is me.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
welcome back Mr. Anderson
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
hello dr. cow. how is the patient?
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
we will need 2 rolls of scotch tape and a weasel
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
haha
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
ah. the weasel may be a problem.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
we could always replace it with a mongoose
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
they look alike
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
do I sound racist?
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
sorry
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
hahah.. no u dont.
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
we're talking about animals.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
but but
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
ok nurse
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
oh what did you do with you're hair
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
it looks nice today
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
oh, thank u. i didnt think u would notice.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
oooo would you look at the time
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
hmmm
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
no weasel ehhh
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
mongoose it is.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
arright
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
initiate operation.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
scapel
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
whats next, dr?
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
scissors
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
oh yeah
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
remind me to take the baked potato out of the microwave
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
ok.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
we're gona replace his heart with a potato
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
while its still warm
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
ur brilliant, dr.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
thanks you nurse
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
only you could have thought of that.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
surely any maniac could have thought of that
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
which Im not
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
indeed.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
and we're almost done
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
tissue nurse
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
goody.
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
i love giving u tissues.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
we need some horse shoes
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
we're losing him
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
oh. horse shoes.
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
nooooooooooo
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
what size?
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
donno
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
lets try ur size
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
i hope this works.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
and hope the lord will pity this young man who's father is a werewolf
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
ok!
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
throw it in
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
oh my.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
OMg
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
Im going
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
nooooooooooooooooooooooooo
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
u cant go.
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
we'll lose him
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
he's saved
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
you're on your own
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
Im sorry
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
*echoes*
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
doctorrrrrrr
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
im not ready to do an operation like this alone.
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
goodbye
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
bye
**I see you're smile in the weather. says:
listen to you're heart
**you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. says:
its a baked potato

Feeling: Cursed
Listening to: I Loved The Way She Said LA by Spitalfield

10:38PM, I'm chatting(if you define chatting as 'hi' 'what?' 'oh' 'what's your name?' and then silence) with some stranger who says his name is Roy even though I know it isn't. :)

I slept at 7PM on the couch last night, though I kept waking up every hour until 1:30AM, when I decided I better take out my contact lenses and go sleep in my bed. So, that explains why I wasn't online last night, despite the fact I wanted to for the sole reason of chatting with a person I have come to miss. This person will understand what I'm talking about when I say "the 'it' enlarger". I don't think this person was online though, so neh.

Take the quiz:
Whats your theme song?

Save Me - Unwritten Law
You can't be changed and you make sure everyone knows it. You're an individual but sometimes you may try too hard to be different. Remember that true individuals do what THEY want, not the opposite of what everyone else does. You're still a very influential person.

Oh, that's actually an itsy bitsy teeny weent bit true, maybe.

Take the quiz:
What Kind of Music Are You?

Metal
You're about as hardcore as they come. Music is your passion and you listen to it for talent not because it's popular. You probably have a lot of respect for all artforms and you like classical piano. Slipknot definitely sucks in your eyes...and for good reason. Any band who takes the time to put on make-up and masks just isn't worth your respect.

Ok. Haha. It's interesting 'cause they got the classical piano thing in there. :p

That teacher I talked about being in charge of the BASE essay competition, she said to me today "Sue-Anne, your essay wasn't selected." But what does that mean? Selected to be entered in the competition or selected to go into the finals? I should have asked but, uhh, I assumed she meant selected to go into the finals, and only after she'd left did I wonder about the other reason.

You want it to mean so much more.

There's this Friendster bulletin going around that askes you to type your name, then slap the keyboard and make a phrase using words beginning with the letters you hit, presumably in the order you hit them. I wanted to do this, but I got an x, v and m. And what can you use for x besides x-ray? :(

It's 11:37PM now. Tomorrow is Thursday. :) The day before Friday whose tomorrow is Saturday whose tomorrow is Sunday. I love Thursday. Oh, and you know what else I love/would love? To go into a room filled with balloons. And then I'll have to go through all the balloons to find someone. Haha. Awesome.

You and I in a little toy shop, buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got. Set them free at the break of dawn, till one by one, they were gone.

Oh, and I did watch V For Vendetta a second time. XP

Feeling: Broken
Listening to: Boys Of Summer by the Ataris

Hokay, something has definitely happened to my eye. I can feel a lump under my eyelid, but I can't tell if it's on the underside of my eyelid, or on my eyeball. And I'm wondering if I should go to the hospital or something. Hahaa. It's just, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO IT?!

I spent my yesterday(Okay, now it's day before yesterday) making 2 new backgrounds. I used one for my Friendster profile, and the other for myspace. Doing this made me have to fiddle with the text colour, and so I think I messed it up, but who really cares.

I have received information that the lump I can feel is actually on the underside of my eyelid. HAHAHA. I'm sorry, that just sounded really stupid, probably because I've been watching the Family Guy episodes I recently downloaded. And they send subliminal messages telling me to laugh at silly things such as that.

Owh, and I don't know how I forgot to tell you about the hot guy at the Mall on Thursday. :) He looked so cute trying to not to look as uncomfortable as he did, with his shifty eyes and careful footsteps.

Are there any websites where you can upload mp3s and hot link the URL, besides Ripway and MyFileHut(which is being a bitch right now, by the way), so I can update my playlist on Friendster?

I am officially a computer geek with no life. And I think I'm going to watch V For Vendetta again because I just read a comparison between the book and the movie(Click.), and I want to see if my judgment of the movie will remain unchanged after reading how much the movie differed and did not have these awesome lines:
Evey: You're suffocating me!
V: No, Evey. I'm teaching you how to breathe.

Oh, and do you want to see Pete Wentz(the guy from Fall Out Boy)'s penis? HAHA. Click.

Feeling: Hurt
Listening to: Creep by Radiohead

I woke up this morning, and my mouth was hard to open. Sort of like when you touch ice with a dry finger, so I assumed my lips were dry like that and I pushed any other thought aside. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, took one look in the mirror, and what do you know, there was blood on my lips. How fucking scary. HAHAHAHA. Anyway, I licked the blood away and that's the end of that.

I was at the Mall for 8 hours yesterday and OH MY GOD it didn't bore me out like I expected it to. Amay-zing. I watched V For Vendetta and I absolutely loved it. I advise you, go watch it in the cinema, buy the DVD and play it over and over again on weekends until every line is embedded in your head and you can recite bits of the movie by heart. Can we come up? No, you find your own tree.

Ooh, and I met Fuad the Bunny Boy very randomly last night, it was awesome. I was staring at him because he looked so familiar(and I do that when I think someone looks familiar), and he was carrying an Indomee box that made him knock over a bucket thing. He just stared at it was having a flashback and so I picked it up for him after saying "You did that." Then the cow told me that he might be him, but I wasn't sure of that until I heard his aunty said "Fu-ad". Only then did I decide to embarrass myself by pointing at him and saying "You!" I thought he was confused cause he pointed back at me but didn't say anything, so I broke the silence by saying "You are bunny boy." And that was our first meeting. Rad, huh. You know how the cow knew it was him? His shoes. His beautiful shoes that have given him identity.

MSN won't let me sign in. That is what I call evil.

Every inch of my body aches, because of yesterday's action, I guess. I'm not so red today but my right eye is a little swollen because I accidentally poked it really hard on Tuesday and it hurts now. I might have given myself an invisible bruise. Oh, yes, so very hardcore. :] You people can be hardcore, too. All you have to do is poke yourself in the eye.

Survey #1	Survey #2	Survey #3
[1] What color is most reflective of you? + Green? Or red? I don't know actually, I just named my favourite colours. Hahaha. [2] How did you get the idea for your Friendster profile name? + Wow. Vodka's been with me for 2 years, that just started because Vodka sounds rad and it means 'little water' in Russian(I just learnt that a few days ago. HEHEEE). And the moosey part is just because not many people associate themselves with moose. HAHAHA. Ok, I don't know. It's just a random animal. When I come up with a better reason, I'll let you know. [3] What time were you born? + 4AM or something. My mummy doesn't know, so I don't know. :( Maybe my daddy knows. [4] What song are you listening now? + Hate Me by Blue October. Thanks to the Bunny Boy. [5] Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? + The celebrities that are dead, I didn't really care about. Except for Bleed the Dream's drummer, but I only knew about them after he died. Anywayy, no. But band break-ups make me cry. [6] What color underwear are you wearing? + Grey. HAHA. [7] Do you want a baby? + Giving birth is effing scary. I'm sorry. Maybe when I get over my fear of giving birth I'll say yes. [8] What is your pet's name? + I don't have a pet. But I had a rabbit that died, his name was Scamper. [9] What color are your bed sheets? + Right now? Browny red. Doesn't sound very rad. Hahaha. [10] What are the last 4 digits of your phone number? + 2195. :) Now, guess the first 3 numbers and you get to give me a missed call. HAHA. [11] What was the last concert you attended? + Peterpan's concert in January where I bumped into Zyy and met her for the first time. Awesomeness. And Ariel was cute. X) [12] Who's with you now? + No one? I'm aloneeee. [13] What was the last movie you saw? + Disney's Teacher's Pet. HAHA. It was on TV last night. [14] Who do you dislike most at this moment? + I dislike the coldness of the world. That's not a 'who' but does it really matter? [15] What food do you crave right now? + Pizza. Meatlovers. *drools. [16] Did you dream last night? + Yes, I don't think it was a bad dream though because otherwise I would have woken up with a fast beating heart, so yayyy. [17] What was the last TV show you watched? + Spongeboob Hotpants. :D [18] What is your fave piece of jewelry? + It will be my lip ring after I get a piercing. :) [19] What was the last thing you ate? + Kueh teow. I don't know how to spell it, okay. [20] Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? + That guy. Pssh. [21] Write a song lyric that's in your head: + Stab me here, stab me here. Right here, through, through my heart. Let me feel the pain of you tearing me apart. HAHAHA. If those looks familiar, yay you remember! [22] Who last SMSed you? + My mummy that isn't sure of what time I was born. [23] Do you have a crush? + Goodness. Don't ask me about crushes. I have a crush on every hot guy with a nice personality and to die for music preferences. [24] What is his/her name? + Every hot guy with a nice personality and to die for music preferences, hello. :) [25] When was the last time you cut your hair? + 1st March at 5:15PM. No, I'm not a freak that memorizes the dates and times of things. It was in my diary. 0=) [26] Do you have a mental disease? + I don't think so. But the voice in my head is screaming "YES! SHE DOES". That voice, don't listen to it. [27] What shirt are you wearing and where are you now? + I am batgirl today, wearing my batman shirt. And I'm somewhere you want to be. Mm hmmm. *nods. [28] What time is it? + 12:34PM. I want to go back to sleep. [29] What color is your razor? + Blue. Wait. What razor? Haha. [30] Are you sexy? + Wellllll, I can try to be with my sexy French accent. [31] What's your favorite store? + I don't have one of those. [32] Are you thirsty? + Nope. :) [33] Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? + I can! I can! [34] Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss? + Someone I shouldn't be missing. :p	1) If you could own any single object that you don't have now, what would it be? All the CDs and band tees from my favourite bands. Oh, that said 'single'. Oopsie. 2) If you could have one super power, what would it be? I've actually thought about this before. And it took me a really long time to think about. I'd like telekinetic powers. Or the ability to read minds. 3) If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be? Sid Vicious. Yep. That'd be awesome. 4) If you could add one person to your family, who would it be? An older brother. :D 5) If you could be best friends with anyone in the world, who would you pick? Someone awesome. HAHAHAHA HA... 6) If you could change anything about your face, what would it be? I'd get rid of the scars, I think. The scars are the worst self-esteem dropper. 7) If you could change anything about your parents, what would it be? They'd be okay with each other. And promises wouldn't be broken. 8) If you could fast-forward your life, how old would you want to be and why? I honestly don't want to get old. But if I have to, I'd say 18. Because then I could drive to the beach in the middle of the night just to look at the stars as I wait for the sun to rise. 9) What is the one object that matters to you more than anything else? Object? I'm not so materialistic, but I'll play along. My books. That's not 'one' but I've answered so many of these wrongly, why stop now? 10) What is the one thing in the world you are most afraid of? God. 11) Who was your childhood hero? I don't believe I had a hero. I was broken. Happily broken without a hero. 12) What are your criterias for a date? Well, I have to like the guy. ^_* 13) What is the key to your heart? Personality, humour, my definition of beauty. 14) Is there anything that people don't know about you? Yep. And certain things I cannot tell a computer either. 15) If you could learn one language,what would it be? French or Italian. Then maybe I can master their sexy accents. :p 16) Who do you love? My friends. My family. 17) Have you ever had thoughts of migrating? To where? Some place else? I've had thoughts, indeed. 18) Where would you like to travel? France. Italy. India. America. England. Philippines. Thailand. Okay, all around the world. And to Venus. 19) How forgiving are you? I can be very forgiving. The only person I'm holding a grudge against is you-know-who. Yep, I forgive, but I find it hard to forget. 20) If you could change your name, what would it be? Sky. That's an rad name. 21) What was your childhood dream? I wanted to be a spy working for the CIA. HEHE. 22) How do you know if your day's been wasted? When I realize all I did was sit in front of the computer/TV all day, not doing anything worth doing. 23) What do you really want to do right now? Sleep. And it's only 10:42PM. :( 24) How do you know if you have succeeded? When I feel that faintly familiar feeling of relief and accomplishment. It's kind of warm and fuzzy and makes you be able to go to sleep at night smiling. 25) Are you ready to have a kid? HAHAHAHAHA. You obviously don't know me. 26) When you're out shopping, you never fail to look for? Books and belts. But I can rarely find a belt that I want, and I can't find Chuck Palahniuk here. :p I've been dying to read his books. 27) What kind of a shopper are you? If I see something I like, I'll inspect it and it's price and see if I am absolutely sure I want it. If yes, I'll buy it, but if it's too expensive, I'll be dying inside as I turn my head and try to look for something better. 28) What are the movies that you have missed and you wish you could watch them right now? Final Destination 3. Corpse Bride. I know, I should have watched Corpse Bride already. :( Shame, shame. 29) Are you afraid of being single? Am I supposed to fear the freedom of being able to look at hot guys without feeling guilty? 30) What kind of family do you have? A very strange one that isn't very together at the moment.	1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? - "It is way too early for this. I want to go back to bed." 2. How much cash do you have on you? - None, all my cash is in my bag, not on me. HAHAHAHAHA. 3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"? - Floor. Well, it does rhyme. 4. Favorite planet? - Venus and Mars, thank you very much. 5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile phone? - Boy. I can't believe I checked, just to answer this. Are you sending me subliminal messages through the computer screen? 6. What is your favorite ringtone on yourphone? - I don't have a favourite. My ringtones suck balls. 7. What shirt are you wearing? - I've answered this in one of the previous surveys. And I am still batgirl. 8. Do you "label" yourself? - YUP. Sometimes I forget my name, so I have to label myself with a big sticker that says "SUE-ANNE" on my forehead. 9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? - I'm not wearing shoes, I'm wearing bedroom slipper thingies that make my feet warm. 10. Bright or Dark Room? - Bright! So I dress in white and sit in a white chair and invite people in, but they'll be too blinded by the the brightness, so I try to guide them with my voice but in the end they think I'm God. 11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? - She kind of annoys me when she types in Malay. HAHA. I'm sorry. But other than that, I don't think about her. 12. Bakit walang tanong s #12? - But there is a #12. HAHA. I can speak Tagalog, or pretend to speak Tagalog. But speak nonetheless. If I answered this wrong, let's just say I did it on purpose. 13. What were you doing at midnight lastnight? - I was online copying this from Friendster and pasting it in Notepad. :D 14. What did the last text message you received on your mobile phone say? - It's a little personal, so if you don't mind. Shhhhh. Ask Ariff. 15. Where is your nearest 7-11? - Just 2 steps away. I have a 7-11 in my kitchen. WEEEEEE. 16. What's a word that you say a lot? - "Actually", if you haven't noticed. *snickers like an evil monkey on speed. 17. Who told you he/she loved you last? - Bunny Boy. Hahaha. 18. Last furry thing you touched? - Umm... Uhh... o_o 19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? - I took a vitamin C tablet on Tuesday. I'm so ashamed but they were yummy and I abuse vitamin C tablets, I do. 20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? - 1 or 2 I think. They are lost rolls in lost cameras. My advice to you, make sure you know where you put your camera. 21. Favorite age you have been so far? - 85. *thumbs up. 22. Your worst enemy? - My best friend. HEHE. Yes! The dictionary. 24. What was the last thing you said to someone? - "Mm". Yeh. I'm a natural socialite. 26. Do you like someone? - Yes sir. 27. The last song you listened to? - Hate Me by Blue October.

This is only my 186th post(I spent all day counting my posts one by one). HAHA. I don't blog alot.

Feeling: Constipated (HAHAHA)

I went on a boat ride yesterday morning, from Kampung Ayer to Kuala Lurah and I saw monkeys. The ones with the big noses that are actually called Probiscus monkey or something. :p And the monkeys were making babies.

Today Far made me go to her debate meeting, and after that everyone went to yayasan to eat lunch cause we were all starving. The teacher in charge of the debate thingy is real cool and somehow Far and him now have an inside joke that makes even me giggle when someone says "chocolate". XD Something to do with smoking and sperms.


That's what I made the other day. Airholes, man. Gotta love.

I miss watching Invader Zim. I think I'm gonna have to get some episodes playing on Windows Media Player, or I might die. And typing that makes me miss Winamp. And my beautiful Winamp skin. :(

My new favourite phrase is strange but beautiful. Because that's just the way things are.

Drink away the hurt and push it further away.

RAWRR.

Survey #1

- who do you trust the most? # God. - do you like someone now? # Yeah, sure. - why? # Because I like liking people. - is it? # No, I lied. - what is your name? # Vodka the moose. :D - do you like this bulletin? # This isn't a bulletin. - why? # Because it's a survey. - what is your current mood? # Sad. I have a tummyache. :( - how old are you? # 3. - when is your birthday? # 110 days away. - do you like me? # What's to like about you? - why? # Because if you don't have anything worth liking, why would I like you? - i like you... # Cool. - what are you doing now # Nothing. My tummyache chains me up and doesn't let me do anything. - what song are you listening now? # Oh Sweet Promise by the Bleeding Alarm - do you like it? # Yep. (Ok, Zyy, my brain finally soaked up the BA. HEEEE.) - list 3 people that u dont like.. # Youuuuuuuu. - why? # Cauase you suck. - what are u? # Venusian Moosey. - are you cute? # Nawhh. - where do you prefer london,canada? # London. But Florence, Italy would be cooler. - why? # Because Anne Rice's Vittorio, the Vampire says so. - what happened just now? # My tummyache disappeared. - do you always chill at chill? # No, chilling at chill is for cool people. I'm not cool. - why? # I was just born this way, I guess. :D - do you like seafood? # No. Haha. Except for prawns and some kinds of fish. - why? # Seafood just grosses me out. - what do you like about me? # You didn't answer me just now, so, nothing. - what do you dont like about me? # Everythingggg. - what time do you usually go to bed? # Too late. - do you have eye bags? # Yep. But if I squint my eyes like this they can't be seen. - do you drink tea? do you like it? # Yea, I drink certain kinds of tea. And yes, I like those certain kinds of tea. - are you happy? # Well, I'm not sad anymore. - why? # Cause the evil tummyache monster is gone. - where do you live? # In a hole in the ground. - do you love branded stuff? # I don't LOVE them. - why? # Because why do I have to love them? - do you think i love branded stuff? # Only God knows what you want. - what is my next question? # Do you like your tummyache? - you got it wrong.... # Amazing. - do you love your nails? # No. :) - im not going to ask why... # Okayyy, don't then. - i cant help it, why? # Why I don't love my nails? Haha. Stupid question. - have you ever got scolded by your teacher? # Yup. :) And worse than scolded. - do you think the person you like is hot? # Yeh, sure thing. - i dont think the person you like is hot, what do you have to say about that? # Whatever, mister. - do you watch football? # No. Heee. - why? # Hmm. I don't knowww... I just don't. - where is your phone? # Right there. - list your bestest,closest friends # Oh, they know who they are. :D - what would you do if they dont like you? # I'll cry myself to death. - what are you going to do after doing this bulletin? # For the last time this isn't a bulletin! - do you think you have beautiful eyes? because i dont think so. # I don't care what you think. - do you hate me now? # I don't hate you. I just don't like you. - why? # Cause you are eeeeevil. More evil than tummyaches. - do you like motorolla? # Yeh, whatever. - do you have anything to say to your friends? # Moosey says hi. - how about to the person u like? # Come one, come all into 1984. Yeah, 3, 2, 1. Lights, camera, transaction. - do you pray?(honestly) # Yep. - do you like japanese anime? # No. :D - who is your first crush? # A guy called Bradley or something. - where is he/she now? # I don't know. - do you like orange juice? # Yeah. It's good for you. - what do you think of Mc'd? # Brunei's kind of sucks. :) - what are you going to do tmrrw? # School, and then hibernate until school re-opens. - what do you think about jay sean n emma watson? # I don't think about them. - is it? # Yep. - do you think i should stop now? # Please do. - fine.. i will stay # :( - i will go then, anything you wish to say before i go? # Umm... You've got too much free time on your hands.

Survey #2

* popularly known as - Vodka/Sue/Moosey * screen name(s) - Vodka- * parents race - Mama is Chinese, Dad is English * siblings - 1 sister, 1 brother, 2 stepsisters, 1 stepbrother, 3 halfbrothers. It's really not that complicated. * zodiac - Cancer. * hair length - Uhh. Passed my shoulders. * natural hair colour - Dark brown that might as well be black. * current hair colour - Dark brown that might as well be black. * no. piercings overall - 3 1. my father thinks I am - An angel. 2. my mother thinks I am - More than what she sees. 3. my lover thinks I am - My who? 4. 3 things you are often complimented for - My shoes, my shoelaces and my pants. Hahaha. How supeficial. 5. you get embarrassed when - I blackout when I talk infront of big/small crowds. 6. what makes you happy - Seeing the good in people. 7. what upsets you - Seeing the bad in people. 8. own a diary? - Yes. Hahaha. 9. enjoy cooking? - Yeah, as long as I know what I'm doing. 10. have a secret you have not shared with anyone? - Very much so. 11. set your watch a few minutes ahead? - Nah, why do you think I'm always late? 12. bite your fingernails? - No. Well, not all the time. 13. believe in love? - Yeh, I believe it exists. 14. take a shower/bath every day? - Yes, unless there's something not allowing me to shower everyday. 15. have any tattoos? if so, where? - I will one day. On my left wrist. :D 16. get motion sickness easily? - Yup, but only in cars. HEE. 17. think you're a health freak? - Not really me. 18. like thunderstorms? - Yeah. Lightning is prettyy. WHO IS/ARE.. 19. the most gorgeous female you know? - Everyone is beautiful. :) 20. the weirdest person you know? - Everyone is weird. 21. the loudest person you know? - Everyone is loud. 22. your close friends? - Everyone is close. Hahahaha. Ok, right. My close friends, they KNOW who they are cause I love them. WHAT IS.. 23. your most overused phrase on IM? - "Hahahahahahaha". It's not a phrase? Okay. Sorry then, I guess I don't have one. 24. your favourite feature? - Of what? TELL MEEEEE. 25. your favourite inside joke? - HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Survey #3

[Relationship Status] - Single. [Shoe size] - 5 UK. [Siblings] - Do I have to go over this again? FAVORITES [Color] - Red, black, green. [Number] - 5 and 3. [Animal] - Wolf, tiger. [Flower] - Red roses are pretty. DO YOU [Twirl your hair?] - Too often. :P [Have tattoos?] - I wish~. No, really. I wish. [Cheat on tests?] - It's not called cheating. It's called reminding oneself. [Like roller coasters?] - Yes yessss. Opinions [Wish you could live somewhere else?] - Sure. I mean, YES. [Like cleaning?] - No. I'm a lazy ass. [Write in cursive or print?] - Print. But cursive when I'm lazy and/or in a hurry and/or don't really give a shit. [Know how to drive?] - I know how to try to drive. [Own a cell phone?] - Yeh. [Ever get off the internet?] - Get off the internet? Well, how else am I supposed to get a life? [Been in a fist fight?] - Sibling rivalry. There are tons of fist fights. [Considered a life of crime?] - Haha. Well, I've considered killing someone. But, I don't think that will happen. [Considered being a hooker?] - No, I am no libertine. [Been in love?] - I thought I was. It was just a lie. [Made out with JUST a friend?] - Hoooo. [Been in lust?] - Lust is everywhere. [Kicked someone in the nuts?] - Yes. Haha. Accidentally too. [Current clothing] - 'Tasty' grey shirt and board shorts. [Current hair] - Messy and uncontrollably wavy. [Current thing I ought to be doing] - Sleeping. [Current CD in stereo] - Incubus' Make Yourself. [Last movie you saw] - Footloose. :D [Believe there is life on other planets?] - Where did I come from? [Hate yourself?] - But I hate you more. [Collect anything?] - Softdrink bottle caps. Hahaha. How rad. [Like your handwriting?] - No. [First crush] - Bradley whatshisname. [You believe in love at first sight?] - I don't know. [You believe in "the one?"] - Sure. [Are you a teaser?] - Teaser? Of guys? I hope not. [Too shy to make the first move?] - Yeh, unless he's being an ass and he doesn't know already that I like him. [A Daydreamer] - Yeh. [Sarcastic] - Woot. That's me. [Shy] - Yahhh. [Talkative] - When I feel like talking. [Simple or complicated?] - Simple on the surface. But if you knew me, there's so much more. And still then, I'm pretty simple compared to other people. [Pierce your nose or lip?] - I want a lip piercing. [Serious or funny] - Funny. [What time is it] - 11:28PM

I did those like, 2 days ago.

Feeling: Jaded
Listening to: Red Drops Of Happiness by the Airholes

I know I've said that I'm so very over you. That was no lie, but the fact that you hurt me cannot be ignored, and I may take a while to be able to forget about you. Maybe the thought of what you've done will always make my eyes glisten, and bring me to the verge of tears. And maybe everytime I remember what happened, I will always wonder how many other girls you have hurt, and pray you get hurt just the same. I will always know you will never love anyone, and no one can love you for what you did. But why can't you tell me the truth? You don't have to lie anymore, there's no one to protect, so tell me that you never loved me. I don't forgive you, and I won't forget because you taught me lessons I wish I didn't have to learn.

And to another you: I want to apologise very badly. I see now how I made you feel like I betrayed you, how I hurt you when I didn't realize why you were angry. Whether you forgive me or not, I am sorry. More than I ever was. I doubt you will ever read this though, but this is all I can do for now. And why I am posting this here, instead of telling you directly? I don't want to force myself back into your life. So, whenever you think you're ready to tell me that I'm an asshole, or I deserve what I got, I'll understand.

And cow, the person who brings a 'moo' to my ear, I miss you.

Feeling: BLAHHHHH
Listening to: The After Dinner Payback by From Autumn To Ashes

I took a handwriting analysis test. I don't know if any of it is correct though, a few of them contradict each other. Haha. And it's very wordy, so just skip passed all the italics if you can't be bothered reading things that go on and on and on.

Sue-Anne has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

Sue-Anne is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.

Sue-Anne is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Sue-Anne's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Sue-Anne that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Sue-Anne also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Sue-Anne is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Sue-Anne's self-concept is artificially low. Sue-Anne will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Sue-Anne to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Sue-Anne is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

In reference to Sue-Anne's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Sue-Anne slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Sue-Anne can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Sue-Anne is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.

Sue-Anne uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when Sue-Anne does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise. Sue-Anne will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. Sue-Anne is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Sue-Anne doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Sue-Anne can be defiant. She sometimes has the attitude that if someone doesn't like it the way she is doing it, then they can just "go to hell!" This trait may reveal itself in a rebellious nature that is always ready to resist forces which she thinks are infringing upon her freedom of action.

See what I mean? Maybe you should try it and see if it works for you.

I Miss You by Incubus has been on repeat since yesterday. It touches me for some reason, makes me stop whatever stupid thing I'm doing and just listen. You do something to me that I can't explain. So, would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

The last test before the holidays is tomorrow. And it has to be Chemistry. I shouldn't be celebrating because there are more tests and exams to come, but I can't help feel relieved the pain is temporarily over. Because, to me, to study is to cram. It's not very good, but I find that when I cram, my marks are better. I think. And memorizing things is my specialty, however, the thing is I have a limited time before they start to expire and my memory turns to mush. :) And so, cramming comes easy to me. As long as I make sure I know what I'm doing and how much time I need to do it. Otherwise, there may be complications.

I got back my English test paper 2 today, and I went to ask my teacher why she marked my answer wrong, when it was correct. And she thought I'd just changed my answer. She didn't believe that that was my real answer. :( I hate it when that happens. It's so hard to convince someone you're not lying when they believe so much that you are. Frustrates me. In the end, I didn't get the 0.5 mark I should have gotten because if I stayed there argueing with the teacher, I would have started crying. :D

Feeling: Sweaty
Listening to: The Happy Song by Mysterious Bob

Mysterious Bob - they're a group of 15-year-olds whose music you have to listen to, okay? :D

Oh, and because I'm such a genius, I got 4% on my Add Maths test. :)

The teacher who's in charge of that BASE 1000 word essay I had to do called me out of class and asked me how much I understood about the essay I'd written. I said "Ok." and she told me to meet her after school because she wants to ask me a few questions. So, I went back to class thinking "What was that all about?"

After school I went to see her, and she asked me to explain bits of my essay, asking why I chose to use these words and blablabla. And in the end, she explained why she was questioning me. "Because you know, the other teachers were complaining that your essay is too good to be true. They were doubting you wrote it. Because the other students made grammatical errors, but yours is perfect professionalism." And I know exactly what you're thinking: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Feeling: VERY SLEEPY

I watched Pink Panther with a good buddy just now, and HEHE. It's worth your money, I think. It was a mixture of British and American comedy, if you get what I mean.

Anyway, as I usually do with people whom I am amazed with, I e-mailed this band Dreamwalk. I was listening to them when I posted the last post, so there you go. Well, they replied my little e-mail informing them about how much I liked their music and that they had a fan in Brunei called Sue-Anne. And they gave me an award. Haha. Ok, read.

To: Me
From: Dreamwalk
Date: 7 March, 11:10PM

Hiho!

Thanks a lot, we really appreciate your support and we are very glad you like our music! The First Brunei Fan award goes to you .) feel free to spread the word and keep in touch,

Love, Dreamwalk

Wooo. I am a groupie. Notice they said "Love, Dreamwalk". Haha. Cows and butterflies.

That whole Finch thing is nearly a month old and it's still shocking because news gets around extremely slow for something this big. This is very "Oh my God" news. Do you know why? Because everyone I informed went "Oh my God! They did?!" FINCHHHHHH. :'( I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you so.

Feeling: Horrible
Listening to: Underneath by Dreamwalk

I'm supposed to be studying, I know so well, but I was just having a quick look through X-Pression, which took me to Finchmusic.com and and and...

Finch broke up. :(

It's tragic, isn't it? I feel like crying. All the many fans that didn't get to see them play live, me included. Their beautiful music simply defined love and all of life's tragedies. Ahhh, we will love you forever, Finch.

♥♥♥♥

Feeling: BORED
Listening to: Bury The Difference by Dead Poetic

I saw the Ataris on TV today. The first time in 3 years. Made me remember that they exist and that I have their album 'End Is Forever' that I bought for $5 in NZ.

I wrote a song. HAHA. Funny, huh.

Let me go, let me go into, into the rain.
Let it pour me into the darkness that is your name.
I never thought it could be this - soul misery.
I'm dying, you know I am.
Stab me here, stab me here.
Right here, through, through my heart.
Let me feel the pain of you tearing me apart.
I never thought you could be this - so heartless.
You're killing me, you know you are.
Your words scar me deep, deeper than when heaven loses itself.
Your words scar me deep.
Let me go, let me go away, so far away.
Far from where u are, far from humanity.
I don't need your pitiful stares.
I don't need you, you know I don't.

I don't know what I'm talking about. That isn't a song. It's a bunch of words I can sing along to in a tune I made up. It's so sad. I'm in such a need for new/old music that I make my own songs.

Tests on Tuesday for Biology, Add Maths and English, paper II. My English, paper I essay sucked. :) My conclusion was "I didn't dare go to the hospital, so I just watched the ambulance drive away as tears streamed down my face." Yes, I can hear you saying "Eh?" as I snicker in my little corner.

I'm downloading SWiSHmax because I don't know of any other animation software that I can get for free and because I want more viruses on my computer so it will be even more sucky than it already is! :D

Feeling: Worried
Listening to: The Saddest Song by The Ataris

I cut my hair the day before yesterday. Going to the hairdresser's is scary, man. I hate cutting my hair, especially if it turns out ugly as fuck. Haha. I always manage to look at the bright side though; within at least a week, my hair would have grown half an inch or something. Anyway, the bottom line is I cut my hair. My hair was long. Long hair was cool. I mean, raaadd. Oh, yes. And they blow dried my hair, so it was straighter than normal yesterday - and I forgot to mention, I went to tuition straight after cutting my hair - but I washed my hair today and now it's crazy wavy. :D I'm insecure after leaving a saloon with a new hairstyle. It's like, you've got a new disguise now. People will judge you, and you're not sure if you're okay with being judged in a disguise you're not used to yet. So, because of this reason, I wore a cap to tuition. :)

I posted at Rant-filled empty box. Acid attacks.

I learned new words yesterday.
Misogyny - Hatred of women
Evanesce - Fade from sight
Misanthrope - Person who hates humankind
Mirth - Laughter
Comely - Handsome; good-looking
Circumvent - Evade; outwit

My sister thinks I'm smart because I read the dictionary. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ... The dictionary is my best friend.

I wrote something the other day:
I see better in the dark,
When I'm with the shadows that know me best.
When no one can see me,
That's when I shine.

I don't want to let you go,
But you know you can't stand me.
So, I'll close my eyes and count to ten,
And pray to God you don't care that you're leaving.
Because I know that when I see you
Standing there still,
You're going to wish things were different.
But they're not,
And I'm sorry.
I know what it's like,
I hate me, too.

I think the text underlined and the text that isn't are seperate entities. And it seems incomplete, so I'll assume that it is. Alright, good night.