Feeling: Tired

I should be doing work. But you know... That thing I have that doesn't let me do work when I should. Yeah. It's a pain.

It feels weird being back in Cardiff, hahaha. I'm not used to this strange environment called my room. Ewww.

My eyes burn. Like Matchbook Romance said.

Indeed. *Winks.

Oh, yeah.

What is it you people say? Happy... Christmas?

:]

And umm... Merry New Year? Is that right? Which reminds me, 2008 went by fast. Or slow. Or how time usually goes. I can't tell. Hmm.

Cool bananas.

Feeling: Shit

I meant to post in between my journeys to Stoke-on-Trent, Canterbury, Manchester and Cardiff, but somehow, my meaning did not reach actuality.

I owe you a lot, but I'm not sure in which form I should repay you.

He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Do you understand?

Feeling: Weird
Listening to: Welcome To Chicago by Kill Hannah

I'm sorry, Funeral For A Friend. It seems fate did not wish for me to see you this evening. Perhaps in the near future. I hope in the near future. I really wanted to see you, but alas, life is cruel. I guess it just wasn't my time yet. I still love you though. The lack of my presence tonight did not change that. :] Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Welcome to Chicago, motherfucker.

Days remaining (a): 1
Days remaining (b): 32

That's all. :D

(a) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay
(b) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail

I sometimes want to talk to you, just to tell you things, but I don't. Because I feel like I don't have the right. Like I don't deserve to. And when I would love to ask for your help, I don't either. Because it seems I only talk to you when I need something, and that's not right. I don't know. I'm sorry. I just want to believe. And I'm sorry if I offend you by even doubting you in the first place, but it is hard. I have lots of questions that I can't find the answers to right now and I really want to understand. I want to be able to have faith and hope in better things. I want to be able to truly believe with all my soul that there is more to this than this. I need to find you, if you're there. I am not, at all, independent; I am flawed and I need things, and as of this moment, I think I need you.

Days remaining (a): 5
Days remaining (b): 7
Days remaining (c): 38

(a) Submit entire Skills Portfolio
(b) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay
(c) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail

Oh, my. The things I find myself doing to procrastinate, and when I have an important essay on "Communicating Identity" to write! Crazy!

I have been attempting to discipline myself for the past four days and it hasn't gotten me very far. In no particular order other than the order in which they come to my finger tips, I have:

1. Written an e-mail to Azmin giving a detailed report on how I made noodles with soup.
   
2. Written an e-mail to my Dad's friend about cheese.
   
3. Looked for digital cameras on eBay.
   
4. Looked for ear muffs on eBay.
   
5. Looked for gloves on eBay.
   
6. Looked for scarves on eBay.
   
7. Looked for top-up vouchers on eBay.
   
8. Looked for winter socks on eBay.
   
9. Looked for toe socks on eBay.
   
10. Looked for mascara on eBay.
    
11. Looked for cosmetics sets on eBay.
    
12. Looked for eyeliner on eBay.
    
13. Looked for pictures of Clarks shoe soles.
    
14. Refreshed various item pages on eBay to wait for the countdown.
    
15. Watched the first season's last episode of Skins on Youtube.
    
16. Fallen asleep.
    
17. Eaten Twix bars.
    
18. Eaten Milky Way bars.
    
19. Eaten a mince pie.
    
20. Eaten a little orangey thing.
    
21. Updated my diary.
    
22. Made a countdown of how many words left I have to write.
    
23. Visited blogs (many times).
    
24. Refreshed my Facebook page (many times).
    
25. Looked at pictures on Facebook.
    
26. Changed my Friendster notification settings.
    
27. Checked Explosm for updates.
    
28. Checked Striptease for updates.
    
29. Checked Pictures for Sad Children for updates.
    
30. Made a list of train ticket codes.
    
31. Made a schedule for the following day.
    
32. Refreshed my Gmail inbox page (many times).
    
33. Refreshed my Hotmail inbox page (many times).
    
34. Refreshed my Cardiff University inbox page (many times).
    
35. Checked Blackboard to see if my grades were in for Media Scholarship (many times).
    
36. Checked Blackboard for updates on the discussion board (for all modules, many times).
    
37. Checked PayPal for updates.
    
38. Done other things beyond my memory.
    
39. Made an online journal entry about how much I procrastinate just to procrastinate.

And I think that list just cost me 30 minutes of essay-writing time. Alright! Procrastination rules!

Days remaining (a): 7
Days remaining (b): 9
Days remaining (c): 40

(Indeed, I have added two more things to the countdown. Even more suspenseful!)

(All those websites better endorse me.)

(a) Submit entire Skills Portfolio
(b) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay
(c) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail