He was a troubled man, and he knew it. But it seemed the only problem he truly had was identifying what exactly was wrong. Why did he constantly feel like he had a hole in the middle of his chest? And why did it hurt so God damn much when the wind blew and tickled his insides like a knife?

He wished he knew.

And speaking of God, he wished he knew what that was too.

He didn't understand how people woke up in the morning with the will to keep on going. What was so precious about this empty abyss that they were so afraid of saying goodbye to? Oh, he had so many questions. But you'd never hear him ask them. He wasn't that type of person.

His type of person was the one that sits by your bedside as you slowly die, holding your hand, pretending to be strong for you when really, he was just jealous. He wanted to be in your position. He didn't see how you deserved what he'd searched for so fervently. You don't even want this. He, on the other hand, wanted - more than anything - the life sucked out of his fucking body. He wanted something to look forward to. But life had cursed him with health and a good genetic background.

"Fuck me," he thought as he turned off the light. "Lets hope it rains tomorrow."

Days remaining (a): 20
Days remaining (b): 20
Days remaining (c): 24

(a) Spanish Language 'B' oral exam
(b) Spanish Language 'B' listening exam
(c) Submit 3,000 word Spin Unspun porftolio

Feeling: Pumped
Listening to: The City Sleeps In Flames by Scary Kids Scaring Kids

The empire will fall like they planned on. Can we even last through the night? We watch as the skyscrapers crumble under the burning blue sky that blinds our eyes.

This is our last chance to make things right. A world lost forever tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight.

Let's try to find a place to sleep, it's going on days that we've been awake. A sadness that I've never seen, I said your name and you looked the other way.

Because these are my last words, and this is my last breath. I'd give you everything, if there was something left. I have nothing left to prove, and I will live with my regrets. I'd give you everything, if there was something left.

The disconnecting count of days are fading away - the lives that we made. Tear drops will spill from your blue eyes. Intentions were wrong, I apologise. The empire is falling like they planned on, and we lost it all. The city sleeps in flames.

Lost time. Everything's gonna be fine. Right? Everything's gonna be fine. Right? Everything's gonna be fine. Right? I can't find a way to live in this life.

The empire will fall like they planned on. Can we even last through the night? We watch as the skyscrapers crumble under the burning blue sky that blinds our eyes.

Because these are my last words, and this is my last breath. I'd give you everything, if there was something left. I've got nothing left to prove, and I will live with my regrets. I'd give you everything, if there was something left.

Because these are my last words, and this is my last breath. I'd give you everything, but I've got nothing left.

I like arranging lyrics as if they were stories. It's just the way I work, and they make more sense to me this way. :]

Anyway, I feel like this song encompasses how I feel at this very moment.

Also, I've never told you before, but every morning, the sun rises right outside my window, so I get the first rays of light coming through the curtains into my eyes. As an added bonus, when the moon is big and bright, it likes to sit in the same place outside my window.

The moon last night was beautiful.

Days remaining (a): 20
Days remaining (b): 20
Days remaining (c): 24

(a) Spanish Language 'B' oral exam
(b) Spanish Language 'B' listening exam
(c) Submit 3,000 word Spin Unspun porftolio

Feeling: Unreal

I am looking more and more like a zombie. *Stares at eye bags. After the next ten days, I may actually be dead.

OH, GODDD. D:

WHY DID MY BRAIN HAVE TO STOP WORKING?!

I need that to function... :[

Days remaining (a): 0
Days remaining (b): 4
Days remaining (c): 10

(a) Submit Spanish Language 'B' written assignment #2
(b) Submit 3,000 word Horror, Fantasy and the Media essay
(c) Submit 12,000 word Dissertation first complete draft

Feeling: Broken
Listening to: My life crumbling to the ground*

Salt and vinegar chips are divine. But eating them while your lips are chapped and bleeding hurts quite a bit.

Almost as much as the burn I got from the boiling water I just spilled on my little finger. :'[

The water was for the cup of tea I am now sipping. I used to think tea wasn't something to love because its taste is so faint, but now I think it is rather nice. *Sips tea.

I had a flat inspection today, and I tidied my room in no time at all by grabbing everything off the floor in one swift arm movement and dumping it in my closet. No one will ever know. Muahahahaha!

Fuck.

SNAP OUT OF IT, GOD DAMN IT! *Slaps self.

*Just kidding. It's not doing that, and if it was, I am unsure whether it would make a sound or not.

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 7
Days remaining (c): 13

(a) Submit Spanish Language 'B' written assignment #2
(b) Submit 3,000 word Horror, Fantasy and the Media essay
(c) Submit 12,000 word Dissertation first complete draft

Feeling: Rotten

"People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'

If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen.

'They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.'

So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.'" - Brain Droppings by George Carlin

Days remaining (a): 8
Days remaining (b): 11
Days remaining (c): 17

(a) Submit Spanish Language 'B' written assignment #2
(b) Submit 3,000 word Horror, Fantasy and the Media essay
(c) Submit 12,000 word Dissertation first complete draft

Feeling: Sore

Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you're alone, if you're with a stranger, if you're in a group, if you're in a group of strangers, if it's dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you're carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you're wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who's around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who's at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn't follow all the rules it's your fault. - Rape Culture 101 by Melissa McEwan

You should read the rest of what she has to say. Please read it.

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 14
Days remaining (c): 20

(a) Submit Spanish Language 'B' written assignment #2
(b) Submit 3,000 word Horror, Fantasy and the Media essay
(c) Submit 12,000 word Dissertation first complete draft

Feeling: Lost

Need to get back on track. I'm losing time. And my mind! D:

Days remaining (a): 21
Days remaining (b): 27

(a) Submit 3,000 word Horror, Fantasy and the Media essay
(b) Submit 12,000 word Dissertation first complete draft

L'espirit de l'escalier {French}
-idiom

1. The feeling you get after leaving a conversation, when you think of all the things you should have said.

This happens to me all the freakin' time. :/

LMAOSHMSFOAIDMT.*

Days remaining (a): 22
Days remaining (b): 28

(a) Submit 3,000 word Horror, Fantasy and the Media essay
(b) Submit 12,000 word Dissertation first complete draft

*Laughing my ass off so hard my sombrero fell off and I dropped my taco.