Feeling: Reminiscent
Listening to: Whispers (I Hear You) by All That Remains
School's been stealing most of my time. And sleep, but let's just blame school 'cause we all know school's more evil than sleep.
I'm supposed to be doing work. So, off I go, like a good girl. To save the world; not do work - that's for losers. Work's for losers. And I'm not a loser. :D No sirree; not me.
And "Listening To Freddy Mercury" by Emery has the sexiest screams. Like woah-I'm-going-to-have-to-rape-Emery-after-listening-to-this kind of sexy. Yep. Very sexy.
PS: I went to the prayer thing for that something I spoke of in my last post, and the atmosphere at the house was so depressingly solemn. The first thing I was greeted by was my sister's husband screaming (if you didn't know, it was his brother and he was very upset), and then a baby that'd just finished crying, followed by more saddening things, like seeing his father slumped in a chair in the kitchen, smoking and looking so lost and uncertain of everything around him. It made me feel selfish.
Sunday, 19 August 2007
Car Accident Takes 2 Lives
I may be overreacting, but it's the first time something like this has happened to someone I knew, so excuse me if you think this is getting annoying. I don't really know how to act, but I'll smile for now if that'll make you feel better. :]
He was a nice boy, who got a little caught up with the idea of growing up, as we do.
Okay, that sentence doesn't make sense. I was trying to be wise and inspirational. Might not be my thing.
Rest in peace, dear brother.
I may be overreacting, but it's the first time something like this has happened to someone I knew, so excuse me if you think this is getting annoying. I don't really know how to act, but I'll smile for now if that'll make you feel better. :]
He was a nice boy, who got a little caught up with the idea of growing up, as we do.
Okay, that sentence doesn't make sense. I was trying to be wise and inspirational. Might not be my thing.
Rest in peace, dear brother.
Saturday, 18 August 2007
Feeling: Disconnected
Listening to: Playing With Fire (Acoustic) by Emery
I don't know the full story, but I'm guessing the bottom line sounds something like, "Don't drink and drive."
Death is a horrible thing. But for some reason, it's different when it's someone you know as opposed to someone you don't know personally.
Why?
It's hard when you're sitting there worrying about school, trying to finish as much work as you can 'cause frankly, it's a nuisance having it around, at 2AM, and your mum comes out of her room to tell you your friend has just passed away. You start to feel guilty you ever worried so much about something as stupid as school; it even starts to seem insignificant as it blurs into the back of your mind for that little while. Your eyes water and you realize you can't deal with this now. Not now. Not while you have other things to worry about.
It's frustrating.
When did you become the one without regret?
And he was only 16. :[
♥♥♥♥
Listening to: Playing With Fire (Acoustic) by Emery
I don't know the full story, but I'm guessing the bottom line sounds something like, "Don't drink and drive."
Death is a horrible thing. But for some reason, it's different when it's someone you know as opposed to someone you don't know personally.
Why?
It's hard when you're sitting there worrying about school, trying to finish as much work as you can 'cause frankly, it's a nuisance having it around, at 2AM, and your mum comes out of her room to tell you your friend has just passed away. You start to feel guilty you ever worried so much about something as stupid as school; it even starts to seem insignificant as it blurs into the back of your mind for that little while. Your eyes water and you realize you can't deal with this now. Not now. Not while you have other things to worry about.
It's frustrating.
When did you become the one without regret?
And he was only 16. :[
♥♥♥♥
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
Feeling: Out of breath
Listening to: Red And Dying Evening by Alesana
A cockroach this big just jumped on my laptop screen. I screamed, then I seemed to remember an ad that made bugs appear to be crawling on the screen, so I assumed this was an ad as well, so I said out loud (Yes, I talk to myself when I feel horrified), "Whoa, I thought it was real." I then tilted my head to the right a little and took a closer look, and the nasty thing jumped off the screen, which of course made me jump out of my chair and say "Oh, shit. It is real!" Then, I stood there staring at it for a while. I think this was the moment we fell in love for a second or two. It was short-lived 'cause the next thing I knew I had bugspray in my hands. I sprayed it, but it flew and it jumped and it got lost in my many colour pencils, so now I don't know where it is. :D
Yeah, I just needed to let the internet know because the adrenalin was pumping and I thought, "I am so cool." Then, remembered who I was and realized that no, I'm not. Hahahah.
Listening to: Red And Dying Evening by Alesana
A cockroach this big just jumped on my laptop screen. I screamed, then I seemed to remember an ad that made bugs appear to be crawling on the screen, so I assumed this was an ad as well, so I said out loud (Yes, I talk to myself when I feel horrified), "Whoa, I thought it was real." I then tilted my head to the right a little and took a closer look, and the nasty thing jumped off the screen, which of course made me jump out of my chair and say "Oh, shit. It is real!" Then, I stood there staring at it for a while. I think this was the moment we fell in love for a second or two. It was short-lived 'cause the next thing I knew I had bugspray in my hands. I sprayed it, but it flew and it jumped and it got lost in my many colour pencils, so now I don't know where it is. :D
Yeah, I just needed to let the internet know because the adrenalin was pumping and I thought, "I am so cool." Then, remembered who I was and realized that no, I'm not. Hahahah.
Feeling: Thirsty
Listening to: Between Silence And Solitude by All That Remains
Regarding something I said in my previous post, guess who was on the front page of Saturday's Borneo Bulletin? My sister! Well, I mean, there was an article about her and the trip to Miri.
But enough of her, let's get back to conceited little ol' me.
Flyleaf's getting pretty big now. I just watched Die Hard 4, so I just found out I'm So Sick was in it, and they were also on MTV's Amplified the other day, and you know what happens to bands when they go on MTV...
They take over the world!
Listening to: Between Silence And Solitude by All That Remains
Regarding something I said in my previous post, guess who was on the front page of Saturday's Borneo Bulletin? My sister! Well, I mean, there was an article about her and the trip to Miri.
But enough of her, let's get back to conceited little ol' me.
Flyleaf's getting pretty big now. I just watched Die Hard 4, so I just found out I'm So Sick was in it, and they were also on MTV's Amplified the other day, and you know what happens to bands when they go on MTV...
They take over the world!
Friday, 10 August 2007
Feeling: Incomplete
Listening to: Dear Tragedy by Bayside
I guess I'm pretty slow to not have known anything about this, but for those who are even slower, on the 7th, Embracing Beyond was released on Kristal FM for the first time. It's a collaboration between some members of Airholes, Wan Long Kok, Incisive, Senjakala, Not Famous and I Mean The Snakes, and... well, let's let the music speak for itself.
I've also got baby duty this weekend, 'cause my sister went to this mass wedding thing in Miri, and I'm guessing my mum liked the idea of staying up all night tending to a tiny crying milk-drinker that keeps farting (and is actually very cute, but that's only because she gets cuter every time I see her). So, hey, I might be up to watch Pepper Ann at 5AM.
Dear Tragedy, I never had anybody, but being alone wasn't half as bad as being obsessed with a breath-taker; a smile-faker. These years alone have eaten me alive.
Does anyone else's life seem to have no meaning and/or direction?
Hmm. Just me then?
Listening to: Dear Tragedy by Bayside
I guess I'm pretty slow to not have known anything about this, but for those who are even slower, on the 7th, Embracing Beyond was released on Kristal FM for the first time. It's a collaboration between some members of Airholes, Wan Long Kok, Incisive, Senjakala, Not Famous and I Mean The Snakes, and... well, let's let the music speak for itself.
I've also got baby duty this weekend, 'cause my sister went to this mass wedding thing in Miri, and I'm guessing my mum liked the idea of staying up all night tending to a tiny crying milk-drinker that keeps farting (and is actually very cute, but that's only because she gets cuter every time I see her). So, hey, I might be up to watch Pepper Ann at 5AM.
Dear Tragedy, I never had anybody, but being alone wasn't half as bad as being obsessed with a breath-taker; a smile-faker. These years alone have eaten me alive.
Does anyone else's life seem to have no meaning and/or direction?
Hmm. Just me then?
Monday, 6 August 2007
Feeling: Wide-Eyed
Baybeats was awesome. All three days had wonderful bands playing, and I loved every minute of it. I can't wait for Singfest; 10 hours of amazing music!
I mean, that's what I would be saying if my dreams of going to Singapore hadn't been crushed, but seeing as they did unfortunately become impossible, despite the fact that Baybeats so wanted me to be there, I shall say this instead:
Oogity boogity.
And if you didn't notice, I'm so not in a state of utter denial and frustration about anything at all.
I somehow feel as if I had something terribly important to get off my chest, but I seem to have already pushed it to the back of my head, never to be thought of again until a trigger is pulled and it resurfaces. So, good night. I'm going to go lie down on my bed, crawl under the covers and stare at the ceiling while imagining horrible things. You know how it is when you need to sleep but you just don't want to. ;]
Baybeats was awesome. All three days had wonderful bands playing, and I loved every minute of it. I can't wait for Singfest; 10 hours of amazing music!
I mean, that's what I would be saying if my dreams of going to Singapore hadn't been crushed, but seeing as they did unfortunately become impossible, despite the fact that Baybeats so wanted me to be there, I shall say this instead:
Oogity boogity.
And if you didn't notice, I'm so not in a state of utter denial and frustration about anything at all.
I somehow feel as if I had something terribly important to get off my chest, but I seem to have already pushed it to the back of my head, never to be thought of again until a trigger is pulled and it resurfaces. So, good night. I'm going to go lie down on my bed, crawl under the covers and stare at the ceiling while imagining horrible things. You know how it is when you need to sleep but you just don't want to. ;]
Sunday, 29 July 2007
Oh, I know. It's very sad posting your own pathetic teenage poetry on your online journal, but whoever said I wasn't sad? :D
Josephine
Her eyelashes curl flirtatiously,
black just like the night.
And the eyes that beg forgiveness,
closed and out of sight.
Her lips are cherry red,
as if dressed up like a doll.
The smile that's drenched in pain
peeled off - invisible to all.
Her heavy heart is cold as stone,
all her suffering drags it under.
The piercing cries that tug our minds,
resound just like the thunder.
The tears, they fall like lemondrops,
and those present begin to mourn.
She lays there so innocently,
almost begging to be reborn.
But true friends smile at the peaceful thought,
that she had fulfilled her quest.
Her head on the pillow, coffin tightly shut.
Her soul can finally rest.
Nothing's Wrong
Nothing's ever wrong,
but if you understood the meaning of 'nothing',
you'd know the reason I cry.
You would comprehend and realize
it's no use listening to my lies,
that there is no reason to trust my words,
for they come from my mouth,
and I am nothing but a speck on your glass.
Her eyelashes curl flirtatiously,
black just like the night.
And the eyes that beg forgiveness,
closed and out of sight.
Her lips are cherry red,
as if dressed up like a doll.
The smile that's drenched in pain
peeled off - invisible to all.
Her heavy heart is cold as stone,
all her suffering drags it under.
The piercing cries that tug our minds,
resound just like the thunder.
The tears, they fall like lemondrops,
and those present begin to mourn.
She lays there so innocently,
almost begging to be reborn.
But true friends smile at the peaceful thought,
that she had fulfilled her quest.
Her head on the pillow, coffin tightly shut.
Her soul can finally rest.
Nothing's Wrong
Nothing's ever wrong,
but if you understood the meaning of 'nothing',
you'd know the reason I cry.
You would comprehend and realize
it's no use listening to my lies,
that there is no reason to trust my words,
for they come from my mouth,
and I am nothing but a speck on your glass.
Saturday, 28 July 2007
Feeling: Inspired
Listening to: Entombed We Collide by Death By Stereo
Ants annoy me.
If you didn't notice the previous post before, that's because I forgot to publish it, hahaha. But you may continue to believe you're delusional and/or your internet is funky, if you wish.
Also, umm... *Squints eyes. *Strokes beard.
Nearly forgot what I wanted to say there. Lucky my super awesome memory saved me.
My dream of going to Singapore for Baybeats and/or Singfest is slowly drifting further and further away; almost to the state of being non-existant, and it's sad, but oh-so-painfully true. :[ Avenged Sevenfold... *Wipes tear.
Listening to: Entombed We Collide by Death By Stereo
Ants annoy me.
If you didn't notice the previous post before, that's because I forgot to publish it, hahaha. But you may continue to believe you're delusional and/or your internet is funky, if you wish.
Also, umm... *Squints eyes. *Strokes beard.
Nearly forgot what I wanted to say there. Lucky my super awesome memory saved me.
My dream of going to Singapore for Baybeats and/or Singfest is slowly drifting further and further away; almost to the state of being non-existant, and it's sad, but oh-so-painfully true. :[ Avenged Sevenfold... *Wipes tear.
What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story, and the greatest good is little enough, for all life is a dream.
Friday, 20 July 2007
Feeling: Joyous
Listening to: Empty Space by Lifehouse
Today, we shall talk about wonderful things. Things like Minesweeper, the phone book, lozenges, and a possible future profession. Not necessarily in that order, or presented in the most appropriate way either.
I stumbled upon a wonderful video a few hours ago, it taught me how to stop the clock on Minesweeper, so you get a ridiculously high score (I've got mine at 2 seconds, hahahaha). But who wants to wait for a video to load when you can just read this and find out in seconds what you're supposed to do, ey?
Weeeeelllll, you know that button you press to open up the Start menu? It's called the 'Windows Key' apparently, but anyway, if you've got a Minesweeper window open, click to make your first move, then as gracefully and quickly as you can, press this so-called Windows Key and then press 'D', while still holding the Windows Key down. This'll bring you to your desktop, but once you open your Minesweeper window again, you'll see the time has stopped, and you can complete your game with no time restraints.
I know, I know; I'm evil.
Also, I'd advise setting your time to something more believable, if you want to show off, that is. 'Cause I mean, 2 seconds is hardly comprehensible. :D Oh yeah, and this would only work if you know how to play Minesweeper.
Anyway, I'm sure you all don't really care about Minesweeper. And the only reason you read this far is because you didn't want to make me feel bad and so you could have more reasons to make fun of me.
That mini tornado we had earlier was refreshing, didn't you think so?
Did you see that? I swiftly topic-changed so fast you didn't notice enough to care. I should go into professional topic-changing.
I've been sick, if you didn't already know. I found some anaesthetic lozenges in the medicine drawer though, so that entertained me for a while. :] Then they finished and I had to stick with Strepsils which are hardly as good, and that's partly because I kept accidentally swallowing whole lozenges and getting them stuck in my throat which is really quite painful, you know.
Looking after my aunt's flower shop while she's not able to do so herself between the hours of 8AM and 5PM can be quite rewarding. I didn't know the recent editions of the phone book had not only menu pages, but also a home-living section. Those few hours or less spent looking at every page of these sections in detail were not wasted at all. I learnt all about sofas and aromatherapeutic candles and plumbing. And did you know there's an Ayamku* Seafood Restaurant? Hahahah.
Alright. My bed beckons me. *Disappears into a puff of smoke.
I've seen the world; it's overrated.
*My chicken
Listening to: Empty Space by Lifehouse
Today, we shall talk about wonderful things. Things like Minesweeper, the phone book, lozenges, and a possible future profession. Not necessarily in that order, or presented in the most appropriate way either.
I stumbled upon a wonderful video a few hours ago, it taught me how to stop the clock on Minesweeper, so you get a ridiculously high score (I've got mine at 2 seconds, hahahaha). But who wants to wait for a video to load when you can just read this and find out in seconds what you're supposed to do, ey?
Weeeeelllll, you know that button you press to open up the Start menu? It's called the 'Windows Key' apparently, but anyway, if you've got a Minesweeper window open, click to make your first move, then as gracefully and quickly as you can, press this so-called Windows Key and then press 'D', while still holding the Windows Key down. This'll bring you to your desktop, but once you open your Minesweeper window again, you'll see the time has stopped, and you can complete your game with no time restraints.
I know, I know; I'm evil.
Also, I'd advise setting your time to something more believable, if you want to show off, that is. 'Cause I mean, 2 seconds is hardly comprehensible. :D Oh yeah, and this would only work if you know how to play Minesweeper.
Anyway, I'm sure you all don't really care about Minesweeper. And the only reason you read this far is because you didn't want to make me feel bad and so you could have more reasons to make fun of me.
That mini tornado we had earlier was refreshing, didn't you think so?
Did you see that? I swiftly topic-changed so fast you didn't notice enough to care. I should go into professional topic-changing.
I've been sick, if you didn't already know. I found some anaesthetic lozenges in the medicine drawer though, so that entertained me for a while. :] Then they finished and I had to stick with Strepsils which are hardly as good, and that's partly because I kept accidentally swallowing whole lozenges and getting them stuck in my throat which is really quite painful, you know.
Looking after my aunt's flower shop while she's not able to do so herself between the hours of 8AM and 5PM can be quite rewarding. I didn't know the recent editions of the phone book had not only menu pages, but also a home-living section. Those few hours or less spent looking at every page of these sections in detail were not wasted at all. I learnt all about sofas and aromatherapeutic candles and plumbing. And did you know there's an Ayamku* Seafood Restaurant? Hahahah.
Alright. My bed beckons me. *Disappears into a puff of smoke.
I've seen the world; it's overrated.
*My chicken
Thursday, 12 July 2007
I'd always thought the chorus to Polygraph, Right Now by the Spill Canvas was interesting, and I could sing along to the verses with no problem, too, but I didn't think it had any more properties, other than having a catchy tune and sounding like Coheed and Cambria. Until now, that is.
Especially these parts:
Especially these parts:
I wanna tear apart your room to see if what you say is true. Darling, don't you lie, lie to me. I wanna break into your heart to see why you want us apart. Oh, I'm scared to death to find out what you think of me.And oh, how I'd like to be free.
According to you, we don't click; that's a blatant lie and you know it. Angel, what are you hiding from me? If there is truly another secret lunch-break, working-late lover, then I would die, but at least then I'd be free.
Monday, 9 July 2007
Feeling: Hungrrry
Listening to: Slit Your Own Throat by the Used
I'm gonna make me some toast, then I'll put peanut butter on it and after that, I'll get back to you.
Okay, there wasn't any peanut butter so I melted cheese instead.
So, here's the deal. I would really, really, really like to go to Singapore in the first and second week of August, but mostly the second. You will find out why in a few paragraphs.
I've been spending my days in the 1990s. If only that were true outside of my mind. I don't have a time machine, but I'm working on it. It was such a beautiful time period, and I think it was just because of the cartoons and video games, and maybe me being young and carefree. They should really have a channel with all of the old cartoons on it; being reacquainted with your childhood brings back strange nostalgic feelings. I miss those times; when our clothes didn't have to match and boys had kooties.
Oh, well. Here's a little something to keep you busy.
We should take more time to remember. Why do we live so fast anyway?
And the answer is BayBeats and SingFest. The SingFest line-up includes Avenged Sevenfold, MXPX and The Academy Is..., which is awesome. BayBeats is just an amazing plus 'cause it's happening around the same time. It must be fate. I'm meant to watch BayBeats and SingFest. Meant to.
Last week was an interesting one, I'll tell you about it when I'm not so tired. Or not.
Actually, you know what, I'll just type it out now.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem so interesting anymore.
I don't sound like myself today, maybe I'm not.
Listening to: Slit Your Own Throat by the Used
I'm gonna make me some toast, then I'll put peanut butter on it and after that, I'll get back to you.
Okay, there wasn't any peanut butter so I melted cheese instead.
So, here's the deal. I would really, really, really like to go to Singapore in the first and second week of August, but mostly the second. You will find out why in a few paragraphs.
I've been spending my days in the 1990s. If only that were true outside of my mind. I don't have a time machine, but I'm working on it. It was such a beautiful time period, and I think it was just because of the cartoons and video games, and maybe me being young and carefree. They should really have a channel with all of the old cartoons on it; being reacquainted with your childhood brings back strange nostalgic feelings. I miss those times; when our clothes didn't have to match and boys had kooties.
Oh, well. Here's a little something to keep you busy.
We should take more time to remember. Why do we live so fast anyway?
And the answer is BayBeats and SingFest. The SingFest line-up includes Avenged Sevenfold, MXPX and The Academy Is..., which is awesome. BayBeats is just an amazing plus 'cause it's happening around the same time. It must be fate. I'm meant to watch BayBeats and SingFest. Meant to.
Last week was an interesting one, I'll tell you about it when I'm not so tired. Or not.
Actually, you know what, I'll just type it out now.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem so interesting anymore.
I don't sound like myself today, maybe I'm not.
Wednesday, 4 July 2007
Feeling: Dead
Listening to: Home by Sevendust
I've been strangely busy lately. Especially over the last 3 days, everything's been squished together and I kind of like it. Hahahahaha. Oh, that sounds bad.
My sister was admitted into the hospital on Monday morning, and I went around 4 in the afternoon. I stayed till around 1:30 Tuesday morning 'cause that's about the time when I was wishing I was in bed. If we'd waited 15 more minutes, we would have been there when she was giving birth. Hahaha. Okay, now you know; she was in the hospital 'cause she was making me a niece.
But lets talk about this labour room place. The waiting room is separated from it, and if you enter the waiting room from the labour room, you're actually locked out, so you can't get in unless they let you. Which is really mean. So when the time everyone was waiting for finally came, the nurses had kicked everyone out, including my sister's husband and they couldn't find anyone to accompany my sister while she was in labour. Sure, my sister's husband took a little walk to the shop, but this wouldn't have happened if they didn't lock people out, or kick them out for that matter. But anyway, during this time, I finally understood the black hole inside of me. It's my hatred for waiting rooms. All you do in them is wait, and I was waiting for nine hours. And you know what makes the waiting worse? The fact that that's all you can do. The room didn't even have any boring magazines. Or comfy chairs. Or board games. Or water dispensers. Or rainbows.
Moving on, I've also started sleepwalking again. Or I am aware that I sleepwalk once again. At 6:30 Monday morning, I stood at my mum's door, dripping wet and wrapped in a towel. Since I'm on holiday, my mum asked what I was doing up, and I replied, "I don't know," and walked back to my room. After ten minutes, my mum came to check on me in my room, and I was back in bed. Later that day, my mum asked why I'd done it, and I had no idea what she was talking about. If I had been sleepwalking, I managed to get undressed, have a shower, wrap myself in a towel, walk to my mum's room, get dressed, fold my towel and get back in bed. My brother confirmed I'd had a shower 'cause he said he was wondering why the bathroom floor was wet. If the wetness is because of me, and if I had indeed been sleepwalking, then I do strange things in my sleep. It scares me. I had a shower. In my sleep. You know what comes next, don't you?
The mass murders. *GASPPPS.
Alright, see you later, when I finally find time in between my wonderful adventures to tell you about them.
Hahahaha. Man, I'm sleepy.
Oh yeah, I turned seventeen on Tuesday. I know, I know, that darned Peterpan never shows up when he promises trips to Neverland. I just didn't think he'd do this to me; I've been a good friend. I've been there for him, and the only time I ever ask anything from him, he doesn't pull through. All I wanted was eternal youth and to live with pirates and mermaids. I am deeply disappointed. *Shakes head.
Listening to: Home by Sevendust
I've been strangely busy lately. Especially over the last 3 days, everything's been squished together and I kind of like it. Hahahahaha. Oh, that sounds bad.
My sister was admitted into the hospital on Monday morning, and I went around 4 in the afternoon. I stayed till around 1:30 Tuesday morning 'cause that's about the time when I was wishing I was in bed. If we'd waited 15 more minutes, we would have been there when she was giving birth. Hahaha. Okay, now you know; she was in the hospital 'cause she was making me a niece.
But lets talk about this labour room place. The waiting room is separated from it, and if you enter the waiting room from the labour room, you're actually locked out, so you can't get in unless they let you. Which is really mean. So when the time everyone was waiting for finally came, the nurses had kicked everyone out, including my sister's husband and they couldn't find anyone to accompany my sister while she was in labour. Sure, my sister's husband took a little walk to the shop, but this wouldn't have happened if they didn't lock people out, or kick them out for that matter. But anyway, during this time, I finally understood the black hole inside of me. It's my hatred for waiting rooms. All you do in them is wait, and I was waiting for nine hours. And you know what makes the waiting worse? The fact that that's all you can do. The room didn't even have any boring magazines. Or comfy chairs. Or board games. Or water dispensers. Or rainbows.
Moving on, I've also started sleepwalking again. Or I am aware that I sleepwalk once again. At 6:30 Monday morning, I stood at my mum's door, dripping wet and wrapped in a towel. Since I'm on holiday, my mum asked what I was doing up, and I replied, "I don't know," and walked back to my room. After ten minutes, my mum came to check on me in my room, and I was back in bed. Later that day, my mum asked why I'd done it, and I had no idea what she was talking about. If I had been sleepwalking, I managed to get undressed, have a shower, wrap myself in a towel, walk to my mum's room, get dressed, fold my towel and get back in bed. My brother confirmed I'd had a shower 'cause he said he was wondering why the bathroom floor was wet. If the wetness is because of me, and if I had indeed been sleepwalking, then I do strange things in my sleep. It scares me. I had a shower. In my sleep. You know what comes next, don't you?
The mass murders. *GASPPPS.
Alright, see you later, when I finally find time in between my wonderful adventures to tell you about them.
Hahahaha. Man, I'm sleepy.
Oh yeah, I turned seventeen on Tuesday. I know, I know, that darned Peterpan never shows up when he promises trips to Neverland. I just didn't think he'd do this to me; I've been a good friend. I've been there for him, and the only time I ever ask anything from him, he doesn't pull through. All I wanted was eternal youth and to live with pirates and mermaids. I am deeply disappointed. *Shakes head.
Saturday, 30 June 2007
Feeling: Confused
Listening to: Memories by Within Temptation
With all the work due, I'm glad I survived this week so thank goodness I have the holidays to reward myself with.
Speaking of rewards, it's time for another one of those interesting grandmother stories I love to tell, about my grandmother, of course. You remember her - the same one mentioned in the posts made on 11th March, 2007, 18th September, 2006, 8th September, 2006, 20th June, 2006 and 4th September, 2004.
So, what did she do this time? Welllll...
The other day, I was just realizing that I hadn't seen my grandmother for two days because she hadn't come out of her room, which she keeps locked and nobody has the keys to unlock. The next morning, my uncle woke up at 6AM and found her lying on the floor of the kitchen. My mother came out to help him lift her up, 'cause she's actually pretty heavy, and then my grandmother told her she'd been lying there for 8 hours but we know that can't be true because both my uncle and mother were up past midnight, haha.
So, they sat her down and she spent a while drinking, then she got up to leave the kitchen, but she just collapsed and fell on the floor instead, hitting her head in the process (this is about the time I walked out of my bedroom). Then she peed herself and my mum and uncle had to lift her onto a chair and ice the bump she obtained. She was taken to her room and my mum told her she should change her clothes. My grandmother's reply shows either just how much she loves me or how quickly she's losing her mind - "Why? It's only water. Sue-Anne poured water on me."
Isn't she charming? :]
Listening to: Memories by Within Temptation
With all the work due, I'm glad I survived this week so thank goodness I have the holidays to reward myself with.
Speaking of rewards, it's time for another one of those interesting grandmother stories I love to tell, about my grandmother, of course. You remember her - the same one mentioned in the posts made on 11th March, 2007, 18th September, 2006, 8th September, 2006, 20th June, 2006 and 4th September, 2004.
So, what did she do this time? Welllll...
The other day, I was just realizing that I hadn't seen my grandmother for two days because she hadn't come out of her room, which she keeps locked and nobody has the keys to unlock. The next morning, my uncle woke up at 6AM and found her lying on the floor of the kitchen. My mother came out to help him lift her up, 'cause she's actually pretty heavy, and then my grandmother told her she'd been lying there for 8 hours but we know that can't be true because both my uncle and mother were up past midnight, haha.
So, they sat her down and she spent a while drinking, then she got up to leave the kitchen, but she just collapsed and fell on the floor instead, hitting her head in the process (this is about the time I walked out of my bedroom). Then she peed herself and my mum and uncle had to lift her onto a chair and ice the bump she obtained. She was taken to her room and my mum told her she should change her clothes. My grandmother's reply shows either just how much she loves me or how quickly she's losing her mind - "Why? It's only water. Sue-Anne poured water on me."
Isn't she charming? :]
Sunday, 17 June 2007
Here's the deal: I don't really care how ugly this layout is right now because I'm that sick of the previous layout and these colours remind me of candy, and candy is good. Ahhh, candy. :] I'll pretty it up in due time, lovelies. In due time.
And just to keep you up-to-date with my ever-so-hectic life, I have this to say:
And just to keep you up-to-date with my ever-so-hectic life, I have this to say:
- Sports day is on Wednesday, the 20th. I'm participating in a few events, and whether or not I tell you what they are depend on how well/bad I do in them. Oh, the suspense.
- I went swimming today and yesterday for 2 hours each, and I'm going again tomorrow. Why? You will know in due time. Hahahahahaha. Saying that makes me feel smart and mysterious simultaneously, which is just perfect for someone like me.
- School ends on the 29th. That means two more weeks of school then I get to choose whether or not I fail at life and education, or succeed.
- Blah blah blahhhhh.
Saturday, 16 June 2007
Listening to: Lady Madeline In Her Coffin by I Am Ghost
There was a time when stillness meant nothing to me. Once, silence meant lack of sound; Fall came once a year. I danced, redcheeked - each year's first snow, tongue out to taste each flake's welcome sting. I laughed, distinct from nature's cycles. A scrap of wonder, floating in a torrent of sorrow I couldn't grasp. That laugh, mouth open, sums up my past. I craved fulfillment; too shallow to know I could never be fully filled again.
I'll get back to you.
There was a time when stillness meant nothing to me. Once, silence meant lack of sound; Fall came once a year. I danced, redcheeked - each year's first snow, tongue out to taste each flake's welcome sting. I laughed, distinct from nature's cycles. A scrap of wonder, floating in a torrent of sorrow I couldn't grasp. That laugh, mouth open, sums up my past. I craved fulfillment; too shallow to know I could never be fully filled again.
I'll get back to you.
Monday, 11 June 2007
Sunday, 10 June 2007
Feeling: Ew
Listening to: Let It Go by The Perfect Victim
You should listen to this song. Based solely on the two The Perfect Victim songs I've heard, I shall say they sound kind of typically scenester, but Let It Go just makes me smile at it's coolness. :D
Every Sunday, I patiently wait for PostSecret.com to be updated, just so I can enjoy the glory of finding secrets people sent in that I can relate with, or emphathize with. There's something about realizing you're not the only one feeling the way you do that makes you feel better. :p So, this week's update had one that I find really sad, just because I find things like this sad.
You know? :[
On a stranger note, I am filled up with carbonated water. I don't know how many cans of Coke and Sprite I have consumed in the past week but I am a big balloon. I have to hold myself down or I'll float away. Which reminds me, Wan Long Kok is the featured band for BruBands this month and though the band's name may seem humourous, an interview conducted by the website reveals that the story behind it is actually really sweet. And sad. But mostly sweet.
Among other depressing things, is it just me, or does this song just seem more saddening than it used to be?
A Perfect Sonnet by Bright Eyes
Lately, I've been wishing I had one desire;
something that would make me never want another;
something that would make it so that nothing mattered -
All would be clear then.
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments,
and watch it all dissolve into a single second,
and try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line.
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
you are here, then you're gone.
But I believe that lovers should be tied together,
and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather,
and left there to drown;
left there to drown in their innocence.
But as for me, I'm coming to the final chapter;
I read all of the pages and there's still no answer,
only all that was before I know must soon come after -
that is the only way it can be.
So, I stand in the sun,
and I breathe with my lungs,
trying to spare me the weight of the truth.
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror,
and you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever,
and now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water,
wishing you were a ghost.
But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover,
and danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer,
but autumn came, she disappeared;
you can't remember where she said she was going to.
But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song
that you don't want to sing.
We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together,
and thrown into a fire with their songs and letters,
and left there to burn;
left there to burn in their arrogance.
But as for me, I'm coming to my final failure;
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better,
but I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be.
Now, I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers,
and layed entwined together on a bed of clover,
and left there to sleep;
left there to dream of their happiness.
Yeah. Probably just me.
Listening to: Let It Go by The Perfect Victim
You should listen to this song. Based solely on the two The Perfect Victim songs I've heard, I shall say they sound kind of typically scenester, but Let It Go just makes me smile at it's coolness. :D
Every Sunday, I patiently wait for PostSecret.com to be updated, just so I can enjoy the glory of finding secrets people sent in that I can relate with, or emphathize with. There's something about realizing you're not the only one feeling the way you do that makes you feel better. :p So, this week's update had one that I find really sad, just because I find things like this sad.
You know? :[
On a stranger note, I am filled up with carbonated water. I don't know how many cans of Coke and Sprite I have consumed in the past week but I am a big balloon. I have to hold myself down or I'll float away. Which reminds me, Wan Long Kok is the featured band for BruBands this month and though the band's name may seem humourous, an interview conducted by the website reveals that the story behind it is actually really sweet. And sad. But mostly sweet.
Among other depressing things, is it just me, or does this song just seem more saddening than it used to be?
Lately, I've been wishing I had one desire;
something that would make me never want another;
something that would make it so that nothing mattered -
All would be clear then.
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments,
and watch it all dissolve into a single second,
and try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line.
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
you are here, then you're gone.
But I believe that lovers should be tied together,
and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather,
and left there to drown;
left there to drown in their innocence.
But as for me, I'm coming to the final chapter;
I read all of the pages and there's still no answer,
only all that was before I know must soon come after -
that is the only way it can be.
So, I stand in the sun,
and I breathe with my lungs,
trying to spare me the weight of the truth.
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror,
and you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever,
and now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water,
wishing you were a ghost.
But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover,
and danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer,
but autumn came, she disappeared;
you can't remember where she said she was going to.
But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song
that you don't want to sing.
We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together,
and thrown into a fire with their songs and letters,
and left there to burn;
left there to burn in their arrogance.
But as for me, I'm coming to my final failure;
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better,
but I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be.
Now, I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers,
and layed entwined together on a bed of clover,
and left there to sleep;
left there to dream of their happiness.
Yeah. Probably just me.
Saturday, 2 June 2007
Feeling: Famished
Listening to: Welcome Home by Coheed And Cambria
"What we need to know about loving is no great mystery. We all know what constitutes loving behavior; we need but act upon it, not continually question it. Over-analysis often confuses the issue and in the end, brings us no closer to insight. We sometimes become too busy classifying, separating, and examining, to remember that love is easy. It's we who make it complicated." - Leo Buscaglia
Listening to: Welcome Home by Coheed And Cambria
"What we need to know about loving is no great mystery. We all know what constitutes loving behavior; we need but act upon it, not continually question it. Over-analysis often confuses the issue and in the end, brings us no closer to insight. We sometimes become too busy classifying, separating, and examining, to remember that love is easy. It's we who make it complicated." - Leo Buscaglia
Friday, 1 June 2007
Feeling: Gross
Listening to: I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace
I woke up this morning, feeling like shit. I still do, 'cause since then, I've been groggy, had a sore throat, a cough, a fever, aching muscles and a runny nose, and to add to that, I've been quite delusional to the extent that I was talking to myself, but the things I wanted to say were totally different from what actually left my lips. You know, the usual. Maybe I should have listened to them when they told me to go to bed early. Just maybe. :D
Remember when I said I was going to look for an alternative for WindowBlinds? Well, I did. I guess the results are alright. I mean, they're not perfect, but then again, how many things are? I'm uploading the screenshots now, but they're taking ages. So, to occupy myself while I wait, I'll tell you how I managed to study for biology in one night with song.
I'm kidding, it's not a song. It's more like little stories that are easier and more entertaining to remember than those boring passages you get in text books, and yesss, that means you'd only understand them if you study biology for IB or A levels or any further education.
As is obvious in the pictures, there are sidebars that pop up when your cursor hovers near the edges of the screen. It's pretty handy; it has something like Notepad that pops up and goes away when you're doing something else, but the words you typed don't get erased. I used it to type this and it made me feel cool, hahah. I'm using Aston, by the way. The downside is that I don't know how to get rid of it (I actually wanted to uninstall Aston prior to typing this post up, but seeing as I couldn't figure out how, I'm stuck with it for now). I also just figured out how to change the background, so I'll do that. Soon. Speaking of things I need to change soon, I need to change Broken Smile's layout.
I'm not very good at this advertising business; I should stop. You know what else I should be doing? Readying myself for my music exam on Monday, but somehow this sickness I have won't let me. I can't sit still for long, it's really annoying and I need dinner so I'll see you guys around.
Listening to: I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace
I woke up this morning, feeling like shit. I still do, 'cause since then, I've been groggy, had a sore throat, a cough, a fever, aching muscles and a runny nose, and to add to that, I've been quite delusional to the extent that I was talking to myself, but the things I wanted to say were totally different from what actually left my lips. You know, the usual. Maybe I should have listened to them when they told me to go to bed early. Just maybe. :D
Remember when I said I was going to look for an alternative for WindowBlinds? Well, I did. I guess the results are alright. I mean, they're not perfect, but then again, how many things are? I'm uploading the screenshots now, but they're taking ages. So, to occupy myself while I wait, I'll tell you how I managed to study for biology in one night with song.
I'm kidding, it's not a song. It's more like little stories that are easier and more entertaining to remember than those boring passages you get in text books, and yesss, that means you'd only understand them if you study biology for IB or A levels or any further education.
DNA Replication:Where was I? Oh, yes. The screenshots.
Helicase doesn't like DNA, so he makes them fight and their double helix unwinds and they split up. And you know, at every splitting site, replication occurs. So, DNA Polymerase sees this and he's like, "Hey, let's make some new DNA." And he calls all his little free DNA nucleotide friends over and they get attached to the original DNA strand. This, naturally, forms two identical DNA strands so yes, Helicase is happy with himself.
DNA Transcription:
Later that week, DNA have another fight and they uncoil. They get separated and RNA Polymerase decides to take advantage of this opportunity and she attaches herself to DNA's promoter region. She calls all her free RNA nucleotide friends and they bind to the DNA strand. This forms some mRNA, but the mRNA gets bored easily so she's like, "Eh, you guys are boring," and she leaves. This upsets DNA, so they decide to make up and recoil.
DNA Translation:
See, mRNA left DNA 'cause she really wanted to go to the cytoplasm, 'cause you know, all the fun happens in the cytoplasm. So, she goes, but she goes alone, until she sees her friend Ribosome. And mRNA's like, "Hey, can I stick with you? I don't have any friends with me." And Ribosome's like, "Sure, sure." And mRNA attaches herself to Ribosome. As soon as this happens, she bumps into her friend tRNA, who also happens to have a crush on her, so he gets a little attached and follows her around. After a while, they find another tRNA and they have a bonding session. The first tRNA gets really jealous though, and he leaves. However, when he leaves, another tRNA sees this, and since he thinks he has a chance with mRNA, he comes up to her and they talk and then the other tRNA gets jealous and leaves and the process repeats. And oh, my God! Polypeptide!
Glycolysis:
C6 wants to have a party, so he invites his friends, the two ATP. They come and the group turns into C6PP. It gets a bit messy and C6PP splits into two C3Ps. One of them goes home, leaving one C3P at the party by themselves, so they call up their friends, and Pi and NAD come over. But just as they do that, NADH + H+ get a little moody 'cause they don't like NAD, so they leave and the group turns into C3PP. After a while, the two ATPs have to go home, and basically the party ends because now there's only C3 left and everyone knows that's Pyruvate. And I mean, who wants to hang out with Pyruvate?
Photosynthetic light-dependent reactions:
One day Photosystem II decides to show off, so he's like, "I have chlorophyll", and traps light. The electrons really like light energy, so they get all excited, 'cause you know, it's light energy. Woo. However, being excited makes these electrons unstable so they get sent down to the ETC, which is all the way in the thylakoid membrane. They get scared and quickly release their energy while on the ETC, 'cause it's a scary thing that ETC. Sadly, protons get in the way, receive some of this energy and so they go all crazy and get pumped into the thylakoid space. Things get out of hand, and it gets too crowded in there. The Protons realize this and come back to the stroma. They're still a little crazy so as they pass the ATP Synthesase channels, which is where their friend ATP Synthesase lives, they call him out, saying, "Hey, can you help us with this phosphorylation of ADP to ATP?" And ATP Synthesase agrees, 'cause he's such a nice guy.
Photosystem I feels a little left out through all this though, so he says, "Hey, I can absorb light too." So, again, the electrons get excited, and again, they get sent down to the ETC, but because it's Photosystem I, it's through electron carriers. They panic and throw away their energy. Unfortunately, someone always gets hurt, and this time it's NADP. He gets caught in all the rustle and gets reduced to NADPH.
So, then these electrons from the water that got split by photolysis comes up to Photoystem II and go, "Let us replace those electrons you lost earlier," and Photosystem II, he says, "Yeaah, okay, I guess I can just give them to Photosystem I anyway." So, those electrons Photosystem I lost get replaced by these coming down the ETC from Photosystem II, and they start making ATP. And you know what they say... Chemiosomotic photophosphorylation is the shit.
As is obvious in the pictures, there are sidebars that pop up when your cursor hovers near the edges of the screen. It's pretty handy; it has something like Notepad that pops up and goes away when you're doing something else, but the words you typed don't get erased. I used it to type this and it made me feel cool, hahah. I'm using Aston, by the way. The downside is that I don't know how to get rid of it (I actually wanted to uninstall Aston prior to typing this post up, but seeing as I couldn't figure out how, I'm stuck with it for now). I also just figured out how to change the background, so I'll do that. Soon. Speaking of things I need to change soon, I need to change Broken Smile's layout.
I'm not very good at this advertising business; I should stop. You know what else I should be doing? Readying myself for my music exam on Monday, but somehow this sickness I have won't let me. I can't sit still for long, it's really annoying and I need dinner so I'll see you guys around.
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