Feeling: Stuck
Listening to: Fury My Master by Upon Stone

Every so often, I am gently reminded that my childhood may not have been "normal", and that the resulting associations and reactions I now have as an adult may be different from the ones other people have.

For example, it would appear that being shouted at does not make everyone else immediately think that the person shouting wants to hit them. :')

The mildly interesting thing is I was never actually beaten myself, but there were plenty of people around me who were... And I'm realising I might have always subconsciously been afraid of it happening to me, which could explain why I chose to play the role of Very Good Girl.

Anyway, I got loudly shouted at recently and that one fleeting moment had an unexpected visceral effect on me. I really did not like it, and I hated how it made me feel: like I was a child again, angry and (this is the surprising part) scared.

*Jazz hands.