Feeling: Hungry

Holy macaroni! In a matter of two and a half hours, I got nearly 200 responses. There were so many coming in at once, it was crazy and overwhelming and lovely. :D

In a completely (or not at all) unrelated change of topic, I love The Student Room.

Feeling: Exhausted
Listening to: The Big Bang Theory by Barenaked Ladies

I am now desperate.

Hi, readers. *Dusts off cobwebs.

If you don't already know, I have decided to torture myself with the excruciating task of writing a 12,000 word dissertation on teen viewers' attitudes towards the sexual content on Skins. However, things have been going rather slowly, and deadlines are looming, and it's come to the point where I need your help. If you are 16-19 years old and watch Skins (UK as opposed to US), please consider taking my survey. If you know someone who matches this description, please consider directing them to my survey. It's a mere 10 questions long (or 12 if you count 'Age' and 'Gender' as questions), so it really will only take a few minutes. In case you didn't catch that, this is my survey.

Once I publish this, I'll add a counter to the sidebar over there -> to let you know how many responses I've gotten so far, and how many more I need (I do not have many at all). To try to make this a bit more fun than it sounds. :D 'Cause counting is fun. Ask Count von Count. He likes it.


Count von Count
If you help me, maaaaaaaaybe I'll start updating more frequently (ha ha). Or maaaaaaaybe I'll give you a hug. Actually, the hug is a given. If you get my survey answered, you will receive one hug. The more surveys, the more hugs! Talk about incentive! :D

I've still got another week and a half until classes start, so I am trying to be productive. Trying.

...Anyway, I made a list. Of stuff.

1. Went to Berlin, without knowing any German.
   
2. Learned so much history and gained lots of respect for this little city.
   
3. Randomly stumbled onto the red carpet of the premiere for Morning Glory. It was so random. I did not know what was going on, but I got to see Harrison Ford and Rachel McAdams walk around and look pretty.
   
4. Ate as many kinds of sausages as I could. They are called 'wurst' in German, and they truly are yummy in your tummy.
   
5. Noticed the Germans enjoy consuming apple juice spritzers, muesli, and nuts.
   
6. Went to Paris, without knowing any French.
   
7. Did not like it as much as I liked Berlin.
   
8. Had the best croissant ever at the patisserie by our apartment.
   
9. Did not find any frog legs, caviar, or escargot on any menu. I was not sure if I wanted to try any, so it's okay.
   
10. Noticed the French enjoy consuming wine, cheese, and preserved duck.
    
11. Discovered this company called Sandeman's New Europe that does really good, free, English-speaking walking tours of some European cities (like Berlin and Paris).

Feeling: Worn Out
Listening to: Dog Days Are Over by Florence And The Machine

It has been a while, internet. How are you? Don't answer that.

I have some things to say, so I made a list.

Just kidding. There is no list. I don't know how to put these thoughts into words. So. Um. Hi. *Waves.

I have been away in Ludlow, then London, then Cardiff, then Berlin, then Paris, then London, and now I'm back in Cardiff, only to disappear to London, then Barcelona, then London, then Cardiff in a couple of weeks. To be fair, I only go to London for the airport, so that doesn't really count, I guess.

I'll make that list in the next post. Maybe.

And I shall end things with a rather long quote from a TV show:

"It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication, that anything in this lifetime is permanent." - Merideth Grey on Grey's Anatomy

Okay. I'm not done yet.

May I just say that 2010 was an eventful year for me. May 2011 be just as, if not more, amazing. For all of us. Come on, universe. :]

To be honest, I don't feel like posting. I want to disappear some more. It was clarifying. Oh, well. *Shrugs.

Also, here's a link to an article entitled 'Smoking "causes damage in minutes", US experts claim'. I thought it was interesting.

Feeling: Delusional
Listening to: Hey Jude by The Beatles

I've had this song stuck in my head for a few days now, and I think that means it was begging me to make a post about it.

Let's begin with some strangely presented lyrics:

Hey Jude,
Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.

Hey Jude,
Don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders, for, well, you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.

Hey Jude,
Don't let me down. You have found her, now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.

So, let it out and let it in. Hey, Jude, begin - you're waiting for someone to perform with. And don't you know that it's just you? Hey Jude, you'll do. The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Hey Jude,
Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better.

Firstly, I see this song as a series of little letters to (a variety of) "Jude"(s), which is why I arranged the lyrics the way I did. And "Jude" can be anyone or anything and so can "she" (and neither have to be the same entity throughout the song as their identities seem to change constantly), because who said this song has to be about some guy gaining the courage to hit on a girl? And even if the Beatles did, that is irrelevant.

I think the most meaningful part of the song, and what signifies, to me at least, that this is more than sexual relations, is what I've put in bold, but especially this - "And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders." This is because, in my opinion, although it's important to realise our responsibilities, it's equally crucial to appreciate our limitations. So, even if your good heart wants you to, the whole world wasn't meant to be held up by only one person.

Oh, I sound so pretentious and self-righteous, but I really could not care any less right now because it is 5:20 in the morning and Hey Jude is too complex to be analysing at this time of day and it's snowing outside and I just had a double espresso mocha and I'm going to shower so I can't think straight but I've got work that I'm done with to hand in today, yay!

In light of this, from now on, I shall address Jude whenever I wish to speak to abstract beings such as life and mathematics.

Days remaining (a): 0
Days remaining (b): 25

(a) About Photographs Digital Story
(b) Writing with Light Assignment #2

Feeling: Bloated
Listening to: Pain Redefined by Disturbed

I just remembered my first party at Penn where, for whatever reason, it was believed my name was Rachel. I hadn't ever met these people before, but I still couldn't win the argument that my name was, in fact, Sue-Anne.

"Um... Nooooo... Your name is Rachel."

That was a funny night.

Forgot about the countdown in the last post and I'm too lazy to fix it so I won't. Anyway, look at this:

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 6
Days remaining (c): 6
Days remaining (d): 6
Days remaining (e): 10
Days remaining (f): 35

(a) Dissertation 3,000 word Draft Methodology
(b) Spanish Language 'A' Written Assignment #2
(c) Spanish Language 'A' Oral exam
(d) Spanish Language 'A' Listening exam
(e) About Photographs Digital Story
(f) Writing with Light Assignment #2

Deadline extensions are, like, so cool! :D

Feeling: Crazy
Listening to: Better Than Anything Else by The Sleeping

"They came first for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and by that time no one was left to speak up." - Pastor Martin Niemöller

Feeling: Uneasy
Listening to: Autobahn by Anberlin

Where did the weekend go?

Days remaining (a): 18
Days remaining (b): 21
Days remaining (c): 21
Days remaining (d): 21
Days remaining (e): 24
Days remaining (f): 25

(a) Dissertation 3,000 word Draft Methodology
(b) Spanish Language 'A' Written Assignment #2
(c) Spanish Language 'A' Oral exam
(d) Spanish Language 'A' Listening exam
(e) Writing with Light Assignment #2
(f) About Photographs Digital Story

Feeling: Really good
Listening to: Closer by Anberlin

Anberlin were just amazing. They are so good live. *Drools. And so tall and skinny.

Pegasus Bridge, one of their support acts were also really good. Not so tall and skinny. Listen to them. Right now. But only if you like music.

Despite the cold, and the rugby fans, and the lack of bus services, and the closed roads, and the traffic jams, and the crowded streets, and the taxi driver that ripped me off, it's been a good night. :]

Days remaining (a): 20
Days remaining (b): 23
Days remaining (c): 23
Days remaining (d): 23
Days remaining (e): 26
Days remaining (f): 28

(a) Dissertation 3,000 word Draft Methodology
(b) Spanish Language 'A' Written Assignment #2
(c) Spanish Language 'A' Oral exam
(d) Spanish Language 'A' Listening exam
(e) Writing with Light Assignment #2
(f) About Photographs Digital Story

Feeling: Awesome
Listening to: Godspeed by Anberlin

More of those random thoughts I've had:

1. My banana peeled itself in my bag. Now, my bag is covered in banana.
   
2. I guess people really can be who you don't think they are.
   
3. "I asked myself one hundred times why. Why did we even bother? Why did we even try?" - Hit the Lights
   
4. I am really starting to feel the pressure now, and the thing is, I don't know if I have it in me to fight anymore.
   
5. Accidentally bid GBP50 on an eBay item. Hahahahahahaha. :| (Don't worry, I fixed it)
   
6. I seriously believe most people at this university think I'm a comeplete dumbass.

Anberlin have a new album out. So, they're on tour. And I'm going to go see them tomorrow night. :D <- This face cannot even slightly describe how excited I am, especially after a really horrible series of weeks. It's just... So... I'm going to listen to Anberlin non-stop for, at least, the next 24 hours.

Days remaining (a): 0
Days remaining (b): 21
Days remaining (c): 24
Days remaining (d): 24
Days remaining (e): 24
Days remaining (f): 27
Days remaining (g): 29

(a) Dissertation 3,000 word Literature Review
(b) Dissertation 3,000 word Draft Methodology
(c) Spanish Language 'A' Written Assignment #2
(d) Spanish Language 'A' Oral exam
(e) Spanish Language 'A' Listening exam
(f) Writing with Light Assignment #2
(g) About Photographs Digital Story

Feeling: Pissed Off
Listening to: *Fin by Anberlin

Random thoughts I have had since my last post, not really in any kind of order:

1. I like Albert Einstein. He was a sweetie. :]
   
2. I am eating Chili Heatwave Doritos. The loud crunching noise in my head is deafening.
   
3. Got to stop having emotional breakdowns in public places.
   
4. "You're so sensitive; I am, I am a machine." - Taking Back Sunday
   
5. I wish I knew how to speak more languages.
   
6. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? But I don't.
   
7. Maybe wondering where my life went?
   
8. I didn't even fully understand what it was. :/
   
9. And I don't remember a thing about it, just that after it was gone, I decided there was nothing left for me to lose.
   
10. I hate it, but I need to get over it, right?
    
11. So, I wonder what would have happened if things had gone differently. When would I have made this choice myself? What kind of person would I be today?
    
12. And I will look at her and say, "Oh, my baby..." Then, hold her in my arms and wonder whether a child should know such things.
    
13. We are the perfect mix of awkward.
    
14. Help me.
    
15. "One day, we'll get out of this shitty apartment. One day is all it takes." - Meiko
    
16. Let's listen to some Malay songs.
    
17. :]
    
18. Seriously. I have got to find a way to let this all go. It has been too long.
    
19. People are shit.

Feeling: Dead

I hate British public transportation on Christmas Day.

P.S. Everything keeps going wrong.

Feeling: Dumb

Last night, I woke up with really cold feet. So, today, I decided it was time to turn the heater on. Now, my room is so warm, my stash of chocolates is melting. They taste better this way. :]

P.S. I hope some kind stranger will eventually see the good in me.

Why?

Broken Smile has not had a new layout in the longest time. Too bad I'm too busy to fix it now. :]

Feeling: Dead

When I decided to do a dissertation this year, I forgot how hard it is to write a 12,000 word essay.

I am doomed.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

I'll let you know when it's okay to come out from hiding.

"I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty." - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

Feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: Archer's Bows Are Broken by Brand New

I find it a terribly strange and sad phenomenon to realise that the people who were your friends at one point or another have stopped being friends with you. And nothing really caused it's termination, per se. It just ended.

Sometimes, I just think about the pity of a situation it is to find myself here and them there, but other times, the temptation to rekindle that friendship completely overwhelms me.

Only rarely does it ever return to its once splendid state. And this is the sad part.

Sleepy thoughts as I look through new pictures of old friends.

Also!

I need to find an interesting stranger with lots of photographs to become friends with and get to know so I can make a two-minute video about them in true stalker fashion.

Know someone who matches this description?

Call now on 0800-I-KNOW-A-STRANGER!

Feeling: Motivated

I understand how some of you may be concerned about my wellbeing. So, here is my timetable for this semester (although I'm not sure how it will help):

Monday:
09:00-10:50 | Writing with Light | Bute 0.53
17:00-19:00 | Spanish Language A | Centre for Lifelong Learning M1.05

Tuesday:
11:10-12:30 | About Photographs | Bute 0.35

Wednesday:
09:00-10:30 | About Photographs workshop | Bute 0.35

Thursday:
10:00-10:50 | Writing with Light seminar | Bute 0.53

Friday:
14:10-15:00 | Dissertation | Bute 1.20

And in the spirit of residing in Britain...

Cheers.