Feeling: Exhausted
Listening to: 99 With An Anchor by A Thorn For Every Heart

Funny story, but the bottom line is: I have managed to get sunburnt.

And and and and and and and and and and and nevermind.

I must remember that there are times when I cannot splatter my heart out because it can be both embarrassing and dangerous. *Nods with approval.

Days remaining: 3

Feeling: Awesome
Listening to: The sound of freedom

My fingers hurt, I ran out of time, my heart is going to exhaust itself, and I have all this information I want to forget, but I am finally fucking done, bitches (I swear out of excitement. I didn't mean that; you're not bitches)!

*Runs around naked.

Days remaining: 8

Feeling: Indifferent
Listening to: The Crimson by Atreyu

How would you feel if you found out you were part of a surveillance culture where every e-mail, telephone call, fax, or radio transmission is monitored by a government that, ultimately, is only concerned about itself? Where you are led to believe you are practically a free person worthy of privacy, only this "freedom" consists of living in a cage with CCTV cameras everywhere and a number of little guard rooms to the side? You have the ability to escape, but you just don't know it because those that have authority constantly reproduce this image of dominance, creating the illusion that it is natural and cannot be any other way. After all, if you knew the truth, it would jeopardise the accomplishment of the things they want, and that is oh-so-important.

I'd think it was kind of messed up. And maybe I'd go through another one of those phases where I'm angry at the world and everything it stands for. But then I'd realise that not everything is bad, so I shouldn't really be angry at the world, per se, just at those fuckers who make me lose hope in humanity and the idea that freedom can actually exist. Hehehehehehehehehe. I said "fuckers".

But anyway, if you have the time, you might enjoy looking up "Echelon" and "Carnivore" (I've given you a head start there). Then, you can tell me how you feel about it, and perhaps we can burn some buildings down together out of frustration?

(This is one of the topics for my Representations module, so technically, I'm studying!)

Days remaining (a): 2
Days remaining (b): 10

(a) Representations exam
(b) The surprise

Listening to: 21 And Invincible by Something Corporate

Some days go by, I wish I was famous, or maybe religious so I could go to heaven, just like you.

Still listening to it. I tried changing it, but no other song seems adequate enough today. :]

Can't wait to screw this up.

Days remaining (a): 2
Days remaining (b): 10

(a) Representations exam
(b) The surprise

Feeling: Invincible
Listening to: 21 And Invincible by Something Corporate

I can't wait to turn 21 just so I can listen to this song on repeat the whole day without feeling irrelevant. :D

I think I've come to terms with getting old. There is no way of avoiding it, and everyone goes through it, and eternal life potions and/or spells don't work these days. So, you know. I guess it's okay to grow up. For now.

But first, I have to frikkin' whoop ass at this exam I have on Tuesday (If you see me online, or sense I am online (because a lot of the time, I am just appearing offline), please give me a virtual slap, or an IOU for a real one because I shouldn't be doing such silly things like procrastinating when I have more important things to tend to).

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 11

(a) Representations exam
(b) The surprise

Feeling: Hungry
Listening to: The Mixed Tape by Jack's Mannequin

Some things for you to laugh at, because I did:

On the M103 bus
Small boy: So abortion isn't like killing, it's like stopping?
Small boy's mother: Yes, honey... It's all very complicated, but, some people think that a baby can't be killed when it's inside the womb because it's not really a baby yet.
Small boy: So, it's not a baby till it's out?
Small boy's mother: That's right.
Small boy: And then we can kill them?

At the Donut Plant
Jersey man, describing doughnuts to his daughter: And this one has so much chocolate... so much chocolate it will turn your skin brown!
Brown-skinned employee: Um, that's not true.
Jersey man: Look at this guy! He used to be Swedish!

In the bathroom of Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Mother: Honey, are you done going potty?
Three-year-old daughter: Meeeeahh oooh gruuuu.
Mother: Are you speaking whale again?

At Brooklyn Heights
Hipster guy #1: Last night I started fighting with someone.
Hipster guy #2: Are you serious? I'm always fighting other people. Cause y'know, that's the only thing you can do besides kiss them.
Hipster guy #2: This one time I accidentally kissed someone and I was like "Eewwwww".
Hipster guy #1: Ewww.

At the Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Little girl: Christmas is next!
Mother: No, first is Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas.
Little girl: And then we die!

At Au Bon Pain
Woman #1: Yeah, I tell ya, my baby's daddy has been the biggest jerk in the world lately.
Woman #2: Will you stop calling him that! He's your husband. You married him like 5 years ago.

On the C train
Drunk hipster #1: Yeah... Snort cum.
Drunk hipster #2: How could I snort cum? It's impossible!
Drunk hipster #1: Nothing is impossible.
Drunk hipster #2: But it's so sticky. I really don't think that's possible... Unless maybe it was in powder form.
Drunk hipster #1: Wow! We're those guys on the train everyone wants to shut up.

The things you overhear in New York!

(This took me about two and a half hours to post. Score!)

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 12

(a) Representations exam
(b) The surprise

Feeling: Anxious
Listening to: You're Not Alone by Saosin

In the words of the Little Engine that Could, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

T-minus 15 hours and 41 minutes. Time to get my game face on.

Oh, freedom. You are so close, I can smell you.

(I want that 7lb wheel of Double Gloucester cheese! And I think I have burnt my tongue.)

Days remaining (a): 1
Days remaining (b): 5
Days remaining (c): 13

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Feeling: Drowsy
Listening to: Mobscene by Marilyn Manson

I'm bored.

Rolling down a hill for cheese, anyone?

Yes, please.

I don't like exams very much. Ngaaaaaaaaaargh. I think I might... *Dies suddenly.

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 7
Days remaining (c): 15

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Feeling: Giggly
Listening to: All The Pretty Ones by The Exies

I walked into my kitchen this morning to find a pretty little note:

The practice of throwing eggs throughout the stairwells and landings of this block must stop. The next time this happens, the whole block will be charged for the extra cleaning.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. No wonder the stairwell smelt so bad.

Days remaining (a): 7
Days remaining (b): 11
Days remaining (c): 19

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Feeling: Unproductive
Listening to: Talk Shows On Mute by Incubus

I couldn't stand it, and ta da!

It's based on the concept of a layout I made ages ago but couldn't use because of the feud between Firefox and Internet Explorer, so this took about an hour to get right. Punk pandas!

WHY CAN I NOT STUDY? (Don't say because I get distracted easily, because that's the obvious response. I'm looking for something different. Starting... NOW!)

Days remaining (a): 8
Days remaining (b): 12
Days remaining (c): 20

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Listening to: Mercury Rising by From Autumn To Ashes

Every breath that I exhale is a sigh. Every breath that I exhale is a sigh of exhaustion. How sad, this is what your life has been reduced to - a single room apartment containing no more than a mattress. The strings have been removed from the blinds and all the outlets have been painted over. The television screen is streaked with blood smeared from your knuckles as you were trying to punch it out but you underestimated its strength, or maybe you just weren't trying hard enough. Startled by a knock at the door, you rise for the first time in two days to answer, but you can only greet the visitor with one short statement: "Hello, my first name is distance, and I really don't care if I never wake up again." Hello, my name is distance and I really don't care if I never wake up again. Hello, I really don't care if I never wake up again. I really don't care if I never wake up again.

I'm thinking Broken Smile is sick of this layout. What do you say, bucko?

Days remaining (a): 9
Days remaining (b): 13
Days remaining (c): 21

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Bore da!

Sue-Anne ydw i. Pwy ydych chi? Mae'n dda gen i gwrdd a chi. Sut wyt ti heddiw? Da iawn, diolch. Ti'n swynol. Dw i ddim yn deall. Siaradwch yn arafach, os gwelwch yn dda. Mae dy llygaid di mor gwinau. Ti'n hen cariad bach. Ga'i sws? Dwi'n hoffi ti. Galw'r heddlu! Mae fy hofrenfad yn llawn o lyswennod. Cymru am byth! Y Ddraig Goch ddyry gychwyn! Cer o 'ma.

Hwyl!

Days remaining (a): 10
Days remaining (b): 14
Days remaining (c): 22

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

I want to roll down a hill.

Right now.

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 15
Days remaining (c): 23

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: Bitemarks and Bloodstains by Finch

Mozilla Firefox was annoying me so I got rid of it and replaced it with Google Chrome. I feel like I betrayed it somehow and sold my soul to Google. I also tried to uninstall Windows Internet Explorer since that is another internet browser that gets on my nerves, but I soon realised that that is impossible. :]

It's 4:30AM and I'm not sleeping because I didn't do any work all day and I'm trying to force myself to do something productive. But it's, obviously, not working because here I am blogging about how I spent the last hour rearranging my computer.

Which reminds me, for some reason. I made cheesy pasta for dinner because I'm trying to watch what I eat so I don't have any leftovers when I leave, and it was really good so I was just stuffing it in my mouth. And then I saw a bug stuck to one of my pastas, on its back, wriggling its feet in the air. :[ Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I've been wanting to eat cereal for ages, but I've been too lazy to buy milk. :p I was going to do it this evening after I had a shower, but then I remembered it was Sunday and Tesco closes early on Sundays. I don't know what that means for me. Perhaps I will shrivel up like a prune. I think that could be nice.

I wonder what it would be like to be seedless and eaten by old people with egestion problems.

I have a feeling I will read through this sleepy nonsense in the morning (Not that I will wake up in the morning, considering how sdlfksldknf I am being right now with my alarm-immunity and whatnot) and delete this. Here's to delete-able memories.

Iechyd da (Cheers)!

(I've been trying to learn Welsh phrases, but they're really hard to pronounce. :[ *Sighs.)

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 15
Days remaining (c): 23

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

If a black man is racist, is it okay, if it's the white man's racism that made him that way?

Days remaining (a): 2
Days remaining (b): 13
Days remaining (c): 17
Days remaining (d): 25

(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Socety reflection
(b) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(c) Representations exam
(d) The surprise

Feeling: Sick
Listening to: Careless Whisper by Seether

I never realised how sad this song is.

Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd. Maybe it's better this way, we'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say. We could have have been so good together. We could have lived this dance forever.

These Easter holidays, I have:

1. Been to Keele, Ludlow, Shrewsbury, Ironbridge and Southampton.
   
2. That means I met Eleena, Hafiy, the Salmons, Sofie and Jin.
   
3. Been to Alton Towers again.
   
4. Been to Waterworld.
   
5. Which resulted in a 14-year-old boy following me around and eventually asking me out. (I declined, if you were wondering)
   
6. Had the second part of my train ticket fall out of my pocket.
   
7. Thus, riden on the train without a proper ticket. (This involved pretending to sleep whenever the ticket man passed by)
   
8. Helped with the robbery of three Starbucks mugs.
   
9. Snuck into a screening of 17 Again.
   
10. Watched the Blockheads live.
    
11. Which means I've been to my first real gig.
    
12. Ate proper sushi for the first time.
    
13. Won a free apple pie and hot drink at McDonald's. (Which I still haven't claimed)
    
14. Sat in the bathroom with someone who was upset.
    
15. Watched 17 Again, Secret Window, Identity, Taxi Driver, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Fast and Furious, An American Haunting, Quantum of Solace, The Duchess, Thick as Thieves, 3:10 to Yuma, and various episodes of Ultimate Fighter, CSI and Green Wing.
    
16. Been taught how to kick. (And gotten kicked in the ankle really hard :[)
    
17. Eaten Krispy Kreme doughnuts for the first time.
    
18. Discovered coleslaw and salmon (both food I didn't like) are actually quite nice.
    
19. Been told off for taking a picture of a picture.
    
20. Watched live horse-racing.
    
21. And in the process, made friends with a horse named Hoh Nelson. (He came second in his race 'cause I am cool)
    
22. Also made friends with a big rabbit named Ben.
    
23. Walked around a cemetary just because.
    
24. Met a lady in Shropshire who used to work for Royal Brunei Airlines.
    
25. Ate homemade nasi lemak, beef rendang and sambal. :D
    
26. Discovered my mum reads (one of?) my blog(s).
    
27. Because she admitted to reading one of the posts to her friends when they were all feeling depressed because of an unfortunate and horrible event.
    
28. Ate chocolate eggs.
    
29. Jammed my finger in a door.
    
30. Danced in bedrooms. (Of people I don't know very well)
    
31. Been rejected from two volunteer jobs.
    
32. Used my laptop on a train for the first time.
    
33. Met a nice 40-year-old guy with dreadlocks and a PSP that works with setting up, taking down and transporting the big theatre productions that tour the UK who told me to chase my dreams. :]

Considering the Easter holidays ended 17 days ago, I was meant to post this relatively sooner than I have, but... I... didn't. :]

I would tell you what I've been up to since then, but I'm going to make you guess instead 'cause it's more fun that way. :D Enjoy! (Hint: It was lovely for many reasons.)

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 14
Days remaining (c): 18
Days remaining (d): 26

Guilty feet have got no rhythm.

(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Socety reflection
(b) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(c) Representations exam
(d) The surprise

(I may have gone a little overboard with the countdowns.)

Feeling: In pain
Listening to: Get Your Riot Gear by Five Iron Frenzy

It took me a really, really, really, really, really, really long time (REALLY long), but I finally settled on question 8. :]

And that is basically everything I have accomplished today. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

I need to go grocery shopping. And I was thinking, since, you know, Tesco (whom I have learned, if I have learned anything at all throughout my first year at university, is evil) is 24 hours, I should go do that errand right now. To make full use of the place. Because it is the right thing to do.

But anyway, while I was away, I was possessed by a magical creature...

The Snake
The snake slides under my skin, into my nails and out of my nose.
It travels within, I feel its scales and its body like a hose.
It bites sometimes, and the venom does burn but I am still like a stone.
As sour as limes, forever will it churn, itching my blood, flesh and bone.

Oh, snake, why can you not keep still, must you twist and turn like so?
But yes, it is your maker's will, for you have sinned, you have let go.
I want a hot chocolate.

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 29
Days remaining (c): 33

(a) Submit 2,500 word Media, Power, Society essay
(b) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(c) Representations exam

Feeling: Annoyed
Listening to: Listening to Freddie Mercury (Acoustic) by Emery

1. Citizen rights to freedom of speech are best protected by a market-based mass media. Discuss.
   
2. In the preface to A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy in 1859, Karl Marx wrote: "It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existance, but their social existance that determines their consciousness." How and to what extent do you think the concept of ideology can help us to understand media power today?
   
3. What are the democratic implications of turning the news into a profit-generating commodity like any other in capitalist society? Answer with reference to Herman and Chomsky's Propaganda Model of mass communications.
   
4. In what ways do you think the capitalist media is in crisis and what evidence exists to suggest otherwise?
   
5. What do you think are the most useful theories to explain where power lies in the relationship between the media and their audiences and why?
   
6. How can the news media be democratic when they are still primarily written by and for powerful white men? Discuss.
   
7. Do contemporary representations of race in the UK news media invite audiences to view ethnic minorities as British citizens? Illustrate with examples from the news media.
   
8. In what ways does social class impact on the ownership and contect of the media and with what consequences?
   
9. Online news is slowly becoming more closely aligned with the "attractive wrapping" of commercial television, when... it needs to reaffirm a stronger commitment to the public service ethos of the investigative press and broadcaster. Discuss.

2,500 words. Less than twelve days. Help me choose! :O

It seems I have grown an immunity to self-discipline. For one thing, I keep finding myself lying in bed, sleeping through lectures and seminars, and then I realise I can't work with an internet connection. So, today, I unplugged the Firewire in order to concentrate on picking my goddamn topic, and yet, the wire has still managed to find it's way into the socket on my laptop and I have somehow ended up on Blogger. *Shakes head disapprovingly.

Now, back to staring into space before I do something stupid and waste even more unnecessary time on the internet. :]

Days remaining (a): 12
Days remaining (b): 30
Days remaining (c): 34

(a) Submit 2,500 word Media, Power, Society essay
(b) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(c) Representations exam

I am feeling particularly cautious after having the background image for Broken Smile disappear mysteriously. I expect to find a ransom note sometime soon, most likely requesting an insane amount of money that I will no doubt pay as a symbol of my love for the dear background image. In the mean time, I have only a copy of the background image. Broken Smile will never be the same without the original, but all I can ask, cruel captors, is that you treat that wonderful background image with love and care. Please do not hurt it. :'[

I shall speak to you soon, children. Don't wander around alone at night.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 7

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response