Feeling: Interesting
Listening to: Make A Run For It by Hit The Lights

Some days, I get this wonderful feeling that everything is going to be okay. But other days, I go back to being that curled up ball in the corner. And I guess, really, I have nothing to complain about.

Did I mention I hate the way life goes on without me? It makes me want to go back to Brunei so badly because I get the feeling I'm going to miss something really important. I want to be there, sharing every moment with them. And Kaiyisah's growing up too fast and saying words she couldn't say before. And that makes me sound selfish, but I never said I wasn't. It's a weird feeling because I've never felt this way about the other side, and right now, I realise how sad that is and how bad that makes me as a person.

I'm going to get water and put this tomato ketchup I stole back in the kitchen and then, I'm going to get into my bed and have trouble sleeping and dream those horrible dreams again. :]

Oh, how I miss you.

Days remaining: 3

I love my mummy and I miss her.

I have to sleep. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. *Dies.

Days remaining (a): 0
Days remaining (b): 2
Days remaining (c): 7

(a) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail
(b) History of Mass Communication and Culture exam
(c) Introduction to Human Communication exam

Feeling: Bored
Listening to: Emergency by Paramore

Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, woo, wooooo!

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Inside joke.

With myself.

Yes, "doing work" is really quite boring. Hence, the publishing of this pointless post (Alliteration! (Oh, man. There are so many times when I want to shout out random literary features but then I think it'll make me look like a loser so I don't)).

Which reminds me, because it is so related. I have somehow lost the countdown I had going. So, here it is, once again, by popular demand:
Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 5
Days remaining (c): 10

(a) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail
(b) History of Mass Communication and Culture exam
(c) Introduction to Human Communication exam

Feeling: Ngah
Listening to: My Side Of Homicide by Endwell

Something funny happened at the train station today, hahahaha.

But anyway, I have to do work. It's so... Sad.

Feeling: Moosey

I have to wake up in about 5 hours, but who's counting? (Me!)

I don't think my room likes me very much anymore. But how could I say such terrible things?!

1. I couldn't shower when I wanted to this morning (Okay, it was in the afternoon) because my shower drain has now decided to not suck any of the water in as quickly as would be convenient. This, inevitably, leads to the whole bathroom being flooded (even though my bathroom is tiny so it isn't really hard to do that). So, I had to use a mug to scoop the water from the ground and chuck it into the toilet bowl before I could cleanse myself of my dirty ways. It took me a while. :] But that isn't so bad, I guess. I mean, shower drains are bound to get clogged up eventually with all that gunk that gets caught in it, right?
   
2. There's also the ceiling which leaks, conveniently, above the foot of the bed. It wets my bedsheets, mattress and whatever is unfortunate enough to be sitting underneath it at random intervals. I tried to block it by sellotaping tissue paper to the place of leakage, but sellotape doesn't stick very well to my ceiling. And then, I find that the whole ceiling is wet, so I don't really know where exactly it's coming from. But okay, ceilings leak. It happens.
   
3. The drawer under my bed suddenly collapsed and so, now I can't push it in or pull it out properly and because of this, the two bottom drawers of my bedside table thing cannot be opened. That has, conveniently, prevented me from opening my underwear and sock drawer, so I have to think creatively (If you know what I mean). And I have no excuse for this one.

So, I guess you could say that's why I think my bedroom doesn't really like me anymore.

I can hear the water dripping from the ceiling as I type. *Sighs. Off to bed (sleeping bag) I go (I can feel myself falling asleep)!

But before I do, remember: Heaven is a place on earth (In my bellybutton :D).

(Yes, I have edited this in the little time it has been published online. Woohooo.)

I suppose it's about time I wished you (not you) a Merry New Year! :D And my phrase for this year is: May this one be even cooler than 2008. It makes me sound positive and optimistic. Totally me, man.

How about we play a game? I dare you to be the best person you can be this year. I dare you all to be honest and loving and free, to cherish every moment you have alive, to realise how fragile and spontaneous the concept of existence is, and to see the beauty in things you wouldn't usually know how to appreciate. To just love, and in turn, live. You've probably heard this many times in many ways, but for this precise moment, I dare you to actually do it. Resist temptation to be horrible, and show me there is still room for hope in humanity.

Feeling: Tired

I should be doing work. But you know... That thing I have that doesn't let me do work when I should. Yeah. It's a pain.

It feels weird being back in Cardiff, hahaha. I'm not used to this strange environment called my room. Ewww.

My eyes burn. Like Matchbook Romance said.

Indeed. *Winks.

Oh, yeah.

What is it you people say? Happy... Christmas?

:]

And umm... Merry New Year? Is that right? Which reminds me, 2008 went by fast. Or slow. Or how time usually goes. I can't tell. Hmm.

Cool bananas.

Feeling: Shit

I meant to post in between my journeys to Stoke-on-Trent, Canterbury, Manchester and Cardiff, but somehow, my meaning did not reach actuality.

I owe you a lot, but I'm not sure in which form I should repay you.

He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Do you understand?

Feeling: Weird
Listening to: Welcome To Chicago by Kill Hannah

I'm sorry, Funeral For A Friend. It seems fate did not wish for me to see you this evening. Perhaps in the near future. I hope in the near future. I really wanted to see you, but alas, life is cruel. I guess it just wasn't my time yet. I still love you though. The lack of my presence tonight did not change that. :] Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Welcome to Chicago, motherfucker.

Days remaining (a): 1
Days remaining (b): 32

That's all. :D

(a) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay
(b) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail

I sometimes want to talk to you, just to tell you things, but I don't. Because I feel like I don't have the right. Like I don't deserve to. And when I would love to ask for your help, I don't either. Because it seems I only talk to you when I need something, and that's not right. I don't know. I'm sorry. I just want to believe. And I'm sorry if I offend you by even doubting you in the first place, but it is hard. I have lots of questions that I can't find the answers to right now and I really want to understand. I want to be able to have faith and hope in better things. I want to be able to truly believe with all my soul that there is more to this than this. I need to find you, if you're there. I am not, at all, independent; I am flawed and I need things, and as of this moment, I think I need you.

Days remaining (a): 5
Days remaining (b): 7
Days remaining (c): 38

(a) Submit entire Skills Portfolio
(b) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay
(c) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail

Oh, my. The things I find myself doing to procrastinate, and when I have an important essay on "Communicating Identity" to write! Crazy!

I have been attempting to discipline myself for the past four days and it hasn't gotten me very far. In no particular order other than the order in which they come to my finger tips, I have:

1. Written an e-mail to Azmin giving a detailed report on how I made noodles with soup.
   
2. Written an e-mail to my Dad's friend about cheese.
   
3. Looked for digital cameras on eBay.
   
4. Looked for ear muffs on eBay.
   
5. Looked for gloves on eBay.
   
6. Looked for scarves on eBay.
   
7. Looked for top-up vouchers on eBay.
   
8. Looked for winter socks on eBay.
   
9. Looked for toe socks on eBay.
   
10. Looked for mascara on eBay.
    
11. Looked for cosmetics sets on eBay.
    
12. Looked for eyeliner on eBay.
    
13. Looked for pictures of Clarks shoe soles.
    
14. Refreshed various item pages on eBay to wait for the countdown.
    
15. Watched the first season's last episode of Skins on Youtube.
    
16. Fallen asleep.
    
17. Eaten Twix bars.
    
18. Eaten Milky Way bars.
    
19. Eaten a mince pie.
    
20. Eaten a little orangey thing.
    
21. Updated my diary.
    
22. Made a countdown of how many words left I have to write.
    
23. Visited blogs (many times).
    
24. Refreshed my Facebook page (many times).
    
25. Looked at pictures on Facebook.
    
26. Changed my Friendster notification settings.
    
27. Checked Explosm for updates.
    
28. Checked Striptease for updates.
    
29. Checked Pictures for Sad Children for updates.
    
30. Made a list of train ticket codes.
    
31. Made a schedule for the following day.
    
32. Refreshed my Gmail inbox page (many times).
    
33. Refreshed my Hotmail inbox page (many times).
    
34. Refreshed my Cardiff University inbox page (many times).
    
35. Checked Blackboard to see if my grades were in for Media Scholarship (many times).
    
36. Checked Blackboard for updates on the discussion board (for all modules, many times).
    
37. Checked PayPal for updates.
    
38. Done other things beyond my memory.
    
39. Made an online journal entry about how much I procrastinate just to procrastinate.

And I think that list just cost me 30 minutes of essay-writing time. Alright! Procrastination rules!

Days remaining (a): 7
Days remaining (b): 9
Days remaining (c): 40

(Indeed, I have added two more things to the countdown. Even more suspenseful!)

(All those websites better endorse me.)

(a) Submit entire Skills Portfolio
(b) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay
(c) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail

How about some colour to confuse everyone? I say "Hellz, yeah."

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 19

(a) Submit 2,000 word History of Mass Communication and Culture essay
(b) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay

Feeling: Groovy
Listening to: Paper Airplane Dream by The Lyndsay Diaries

Apparently I've been, as you young people say, "tagged" by Sofieee.

1. Take a picture of yourself right now.
   
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture.
   
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
   
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
   
5. Tag 5 people to do this.

I do believe I have broken the rules somehow by not taking a picture as soon as I found out I was tagged and actually just waiting for the day I looked okay enough to take a picture of. To make up for it though, I have displayed my natural happy face behind a grainy picture (which is actually a cut out of a print screen of me 1.3MP webcam-ing with Azmin), and that, surely, must count for something. :]

In terms of "tagging", I don't actually think I know five people that read this online journal I keep, so I shall be totally realistic and tag Azmin Jay, Chris Kang, Jamie Oliver, John Mayer, and I'm feeling a little sexist so, umm... Mischa Barton.

Now, I give you the essay-writing progress report of a Bachelor of Arts of Journalism, Film and Media Single Honours undergraduate (I never realised how long that could be, hahaha. Long):

15th November, 01:13: 190 words, 1,810 more to go.
15th November, 17:59: 184 words, 1,816 more to go.
15th November, 19:54: 243 words, 1,757 more to go.
15th November, 20:01: 251 words, 1,749 more to go.
15th November, 20:56: 311 words, 1,689 more to go.
15th November, 21:22: 416 words, 1,584 more to go.
16th November, 00:16: 455 words, 1,545 more to go.
16th November, 00:24: 518 words, 1,482 more to go.
16th November, 00:34: 595 words, 1,405 more to go.
16th November, 23:40: 678 words, 1,322 more to go.
17th November, 00:50: 702 words, 1,298 more to go.
18th November, 23:47: 849 words, 1,151 more to go.
19th November, 00:06: 860 words, 1,140 more to go.
19th November, 08:35: 1,089 words, 911 more to go.
19th November, 09:32: 1,154 words, 846 more to go.
19th November, 10:02: 1,216 words, 784 more to go.
19th November, 17:52: 1,321 words, 679 more to go.
19th November, 19:44: 1,340 words, 660 more to go.
19th November, 22:13: 1,386 words, 614 more to go.
19th November, 23:04: 1,428 words, 572 more to go.
20th November, 07:49: 1,485 words, 515 more to go.
20th November, 08:02: 1,498 words, 502 more to go.
20th November, 09:23: 1,559 words, 441 more to go.
21st November, 01:18: 1,564 words, 436 more to go.
21st November, 00:10: 1,659 words, 341 more to go.
21st November, 15:01: 1,743 words, 257 more to go.
21st November, 15:22: 1,786 words, 214 more to go.
21st November, 16:19: 1,952 words, 48 more to go.
21st November, 17:52: 2,033 words, -33 more to go.

If this proves anything, it's that I worked more late at night until I switched completely and did it after waking up really early in the morning. It also shows that I only have one more essay to write. Which is good news, fo' sho'. (Yeah. That was of no relevance to anything at all, but I like to see the gradual increase in number of words. It symbolises my descent into adulthood. Hahaha (Not really).)

Nonetheless, here is the countdown we all wait for everyday, I'm sure:

Days remaining (a): 5
Days remaining (b): 20

Oh, yes. The question that remains: Who wants to read my essay? It's about the Power Rangers, I'm sure you will find it wonderfully entertaining. :D Yes, that was indeed my manipulative method of advertising, and it just so happens to consist of a few fabrications of the truth, but who really cares about the truth these days anyway?

Here's the Capitalism video I made for Media Scholarship (which, might I add, is made only made up of images I got from searching with Google Images, except the title, credits and background) because I'm cool:

I call it...

Capitalism: The Never-ending Lie
(And it isn't at all cynical, in any way. :D)


And soon I shall click the "Publish Post" button which will bring me one step closer to world domination by slowly taking up all the webspace on the internet. I know, I'm so smart and sneaky, but that's why they call me Moosey (Because moose are even more cunning than foxes).

This has turned into a very long post. Even better for that plan I had (Please refer to previous paragraph).

(a) Submit 2,000 word History of Mass Communication and Culture essay
(b) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay

Listening to: Walking On Sunshine by Katrina And The Waves

I don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day. No, no, no. Baby, I just want you back, and I want you to stay. I'm walkin' on sunshineeee, woah.

It's funny because there's no sun in Cardiff right now. HAAAAAAAAAAA.

Oh, yeah. I NEED TO SLEEP.

Days remaining (a): 9
Days remaining (b): 24

(a) Submit 2,000 word History of Mass Communication and Culture essay
(b) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay

Feeling: Confused
Listening to: Parker by Automatic Loveletter

It's that time again! :D

Yes! The time when I put up a countdown for some kind of event that is to take place some time in the future.

Days remaining (a): 13
Days remaining (b): 28

Notice anything different?

Why, yes! A first ever double countdown! Ommagadddd.

Looking at that countdown, I realise I should really be doing my work right now. Stupid internet. Getting me distracted and everything.

(a) Submit 2,000 word History of Mass Communication and Culture essay
(b) Submit 1,200 word Introduction to Human Communication essay

Feeling: Tired

I've been looking at Power Rangers information all day. I need a break. *Gasps for air.

Feeling: Alert

I had my Media Scholarship presentation today. The Cushion Club (that's ussssssssssss. :D) did it on Fandom: Fan communities and their creative output. I got home around 7:15PM and as soon as I did, I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep for two hours. It was very disorientating 'cause I woke up and was just so confused. Kind of like this one time I decided to sleep in the afternoon and so I woke up thinking it was 5AM when it was really 5PM. I spent a few minutes walking around the empty house, wondering where everyone had gone so early and why it was so light outside. :D

Anyway, because I have strange bodily functions, especially after I wake up dazed, now, my eyes are like this: O.O

Feeling: Squeaky
Listening to: Sympathy For The Martyr by Straylight Run

I'm sure I meant to have something wonderful to say. Until...

.

.

.

.

.

I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!
Shocking, yes. And very unexpected. I was just minding my own business when whoosh! I was in a strange place filled with equally strange-looking creatures. I had absolutely no recollection of how I got there, but I am now a changed person. And the moral of the story is that anything is possible. So, love your parents.

I would go into details, but I don't think you really want to know... If you know what I mean. :/ Yeah.

CHANGING TOPIC BECAUSE THE PREVIOUS ONE MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE!

My, what strange weather we're having lately. Would you like a cup of tea? :]