Feeling: Torn
Listening to: The Curse Of Curves by Cute Is What We Aim For

Inside there is nothing, nothing at all.

I once wrote a story for an assessed essay that was meant to end with that line. I think it was one of my best, but I don't know where it went. I'm not extremely bothered by its disappearance, but four years ago, I failed to realise that that single line had the potential to define so many aspects of my life at various moments, or that I would find it so very difficult to forget.

But other than that, I'm only here to let you know I may be losing my mind soon.

Days remaining (a): 23
Days remaining (b): 23
Days remaining (c): 32

(a) Submit 2,500 word Doing Media Research research proposal
(b) Submit 2,000 word Popular Culture essay
(c) Submit 3,000 word Politics and Journalism essay

(Why, yes. I do have a 3,000 word essay to do for my Politics and Journalism module instead of an exam. Thank you for noticing.)

My tummy just went "Moooooooooooo."

But anyway, oh, my gosh.

So many things to think about, all at the same time.

Days remaining (a): 33
Days remaining (b): 33

(a) Submit 2,500 word Doing Media Research research proposal
(b) Submit 2,000 word Popular Culture essay

Feeling: Misplaced
Listening to: Save Your Scissors by City And Colour

J: I opened the cupboard where we keep our glasses today
J: i saw the 3 glasses bought for lee mom and you in new zealand
J: i looked at the cat one and remembered lee
J: i looked at the dog one and remembered mom
J: i looked at the cow one and remembered you
J: the cow cup looks so lonely
J: its so lonely
J: when is the last time you used that cup?
J: its so lonely
J: im so lonely
J: i miss you

Mom.

He's so American. :]

♥

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 50
Days remaining (c): 50

(a) Submit 1,000 word Popular Culture essay plan
(b) Submit 2,500 word Doing Media Research research proposal
(c) Submit 2,000 word Popular Culture essay

Feeling: Hopeless
Listening to: *Fin by Anberlin

Okay, so maybe I'm not destined to see Funeral For A Friend after all. Goddammit!

What this may show, however, is that I really should finish this work that I have not even been able to start. I've been trying all day (Not counting the four hours I slept in the afternoon (I sleep too much. It gives me nightmares)), and holy macaroni, it's late (4:07AM on my watch).

I finally understand this song. It used to just seem random and beautiful, but it means so much right now. I tried to pick out my favourite parts, but this is one song that doesn't work that way. So, here are all of the lyrics, neatly arranged in the way I understand they should be arranged, but even that isn't good enough. You must listen. Now.


*Fin by Anberlin
Feels like I'm miles from here, in other towns with lesser names where the unholy ghost doesn't tell Mary or William exactly what they want to hear. You remember the house on Ridge Road, told you and the Devil to both just leave me alone. If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling. You'll just have to trust me, I'm scared. I am the patron saint of lost causes. Aren't we all to you just near lost causes? Aren't we all to you just lost?

Tommy, you were left behind. Something will mean everything right before you die. What if you gained the whole world? You've already lost four little souls from your life. Widows and orphans aren't hard to find, they're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight. Wish your drinking would hurry and kill you, sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth - that you are the patron saint of lost causes. All you are to them is now a lost cause. All you are to them is now causes.

Billy, don't you understand? Timothy stood as long as he could and now, you made his faith disappear more like a magician and less like a man of the cloth. We're not questioning God, just those He chose to carry on His cross. We're no better, you'll see. Just all of us, the lost causes. Aren't we all to you just lost causes? Are we all to you lost, lost causes? So, all we are to you is all we are, is all we are. All we are is all we are.

Patron saint, are we all lost like you? (Lost causes, all we are. Is all we are to you lost?)
The last part is improvised, so the lyrics don't really make sense, but it's my favourite section of the song, so there.

Days remaining (a): 6
Days remaining (b): 52
Days remaining (c): 52

(a) Submit 1,000 word Popular Culture essay
(b) Submit 2,500 word Doing Media Research research proposal
(c) Submit 2,000 word Popular Culture essay

Feeling: Smelly

The cloudy night sky didn't allow me to see the Leonid meteor shower last night. It made me sad, but I went out and sat in the garden and pulled my neck back anyway. The droplets of water hitting my face almost seemed to be telling me that although it would have been beautiful, there are more important things I should be paying attention to. The universe understands. It will wait for me. That's what I thought it meant, but it appears everything is falling apart and floating away, much like a feather that leaves a bird's tail, or a leaf that forgets it's tree. Because the bird doesn't need it anymore and neither does the tree. The universe has better and bigger plans for the feather and the leaf, but it does not say what it is. We have to wait and see.

Are we all just sad children, waiting for pictures to be drawn for us so we can smile and feel special about something?

I'm staying up late as punishment for accidentally missing too many lectures and seminars. That wasn't part of the plan. Not part of it at all, and I don't know how this will help.

Oh, man. It is so close.

Days remaining (a): 7
Days remaining (b): 53
Days remaining (c): 53

(a) Submit 1,000 word Popular Culture essay
(b) Submit 2,500 word Doing Media Research research proposal
(c) Submit 2,000 word Popular Culture essay

45 lessons life has taught me*:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood, but the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today IS special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of your when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

*Regina Sparks

Now, to wipe my teary eyes, hop on this horse and ride off purposefully into the sunset.

Days remaining (a): 8
Days remaining (b): 54
Days remaining (c): 54

(a) Submit 1,000 word Popular Culture essay plan
(b) Submit 2,500 word Doing Media Research research proposal
(c) Submit 2,000 word Popular Culture essay

Feeling: Cruel
Listening to: Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits

The dice were loaded from the start.

Days remaining: 9

A paradox:

Pessimists are never disappointed, thus they are always happy.

Days remaining: 15

"You could put something cold on it."
"Like my heart?"

Days remaining: 16

Feeling: Sick
Listening to: What Goes Around by Alesana

I've never felt more destined to see Funeral For A Friend (They were meant to play tomorrow, but I've got to work my butt off all week and I wasn't sure if it was even possible given the circumstances, but thennn... Click).

I love it when cool bands cover pop/hip hop/not them songs, but even more so when they do it well. Alesana did an awesome job with this one. ♥

Days remaining (a): 7
Days remaining (b): 24

(a) Submit 1,750 word Politics and Journalism essay
(b) Submit 1,000 word Popular Culture essay

I was finally able to upload the videos from the Used's concert last month!




And these two are my favourite pictures of the night. Unedited and stuff. Because I am much too busy to be fussing over details and Jeph was awfully lovely.




Days remaining (a): 10
Days remaining (b): 27

(a) Submit 1,750 word Politics and Journalism essay
(b) Submit 1,000 word Popular Culture essay plan

Feeling: Lazy
Listening to: How Lucky We Are by Meiko

I want double nostril piercings.

Why is work so repulsive?

One day, we'll get out of this shitty apartment.

Analyse that.

Listening to: Your Call by Secondhand Serenade

Waiting for your call, I'm sick. Call, I'm angry. Call, I'm desperate for your voice.

Today was a pretty average day and then it just segwayed seamlessly downhill for no apparent reason.

(I couldn't help myself. My lecturer used the phrase "segway seamlessly" instead of "moving on,..." when he changed topics in his lecture today and I think I was the only person to find this amusing because, though I don't understand why, I was the only one laughing.)

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home.

Listening to: Hide And Seek by Imogen Heap

For a never-ending sunrise, click. Right now, the sun is rising in Tiruvannamalai, India, 8,408 kilometres away from Cardiff where it is dark and cold and sleepy.

And I shall be travelling back in time within the next fifty five minutes. Should be exciting. (Oh, shit. It went by unnoticed and I completely missed it. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh, time. You sly thing.)

Hold on tight, kids.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.

If there are seedless grapes, how do they grow?

Do not Google. I think I'd like this question to wander around in my brain for a while.

Maybe later you can destroy the magic of life in an instant with your plain and boring and perfectly logical explanations. Maybe later we can laugh and laugh but never feel joy. Maybe later we can run and hide and cry because we're alone (I went a bit overboard with that, hahahahaha).

Remember when I said "After Thursday, I'll have something to tell you"? Let's give it until the end of next week instead.

Feeling: Unusual
Listening to: A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not by Bright Eyes

Feeling: Confused
Listening to: The Twist by Chubby Checker

I've been listening to a lot of oldies. It seems to cheer me up. And kind of, in a creepy way, makes me want to dance in a silly fashion. But let's not speak of that. Let's speak of how I've just realised how many pre-90's songs feature men singing abnormally high. But it's cool. It's cool.

After Thursday, I'll have something to tell you.

(I must confess, throughout this whole post, I was saying "SheeeeeeeeeEEEEErrrrryyyyyyyyyy" over and over again in head, and dying to play Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, and I just did so now I'm fine.)

How do you keep the music playing?

Listening to: Kissing You Goodbye by The Used

While searching for remedies before anything serious happened, I found out the proper name for a runny nose is "Rhinorrhea."

That is awesome.

And this is a pretty song.

Feeling: Tired

It is only 12:31 in the afternoon and I am tired. Tired and sore and hungry.

Something must be wrong with me! D:

But let us think of other things now, like how I am a Velociraptor and you are a Brachiosaurus. :] Mmmm. Dinosaurs.

Oh, my God, I just realised why the cover of my book has a T-shaped hole in the middle of it. At first, I just wondered why they would put the hole there. Then, I realised it was where an S had been printed, and I read the title - Manufacturing Content, but then the T was replaced with an S making it Manufacturing Consent, and I let out a long understanding "Oh" and congratulated myself on figuring out the wordplay.

Now, I shall go make myself a celebratory cup of green tea with lemon and garlic bread (But oh, how I wish I was going to eat lau shu fan instead).

Feeling: Annoyed
Listening to: Gasoline by Brand New

I am now listening to Brand New's new album, and they do indeed sound different, but you can't really expect people to remain exactly the same forever. I'm sure they went through lots of different experiences and felt different things to finally come to what they have now. And it is beautiful.

I think the only reason I get all the books on my reading list out of the library is so I know I at least put in some kind of effort early on and not at the last minute, because when it actually comes to doing work, it is very difficult to get myself to focus on doing what I'm meant to be doing. And talking to myself only provides me with another method of distraction.

Have you ever wondered why you do the things you do? When did you decide you preferred this over that? How did you come to that conclusion? Why? Where did these ideas come from? What is life? Who am I?

Feeling: Hungry

You know what's even funnier? Fun-sized bananas for kids.

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

Brand New and InMe have new albums out, by the way.

Just keeping the public informed.

Feeling: Giggly

You know what's funny? Fun-sized bananas.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

*Gasps. Oh, the connotations.

But you know what is random? Samantha Mumba, Drake Bell and Matt Dallas (I don't know who he is so I Googled) in Brunei. And then being swarmed by people who probably don't care that much about them yet still feel the need to shout "OHMYGODILOVEYOU!" Or maybe they do love them. It's too hard to tell.

:D

Smiley faces for everyone! *Throws smiley faces at everyone.

Yes, I am in the land of the Greenwich.

Feeling: Scared

It is here.

And I am not, in any way, ready.

Poo.

Feeling: Snoozey
Listening to: A Day Late by Anberlin

Crappers. For a week, I'd been telling myself I have two weeks left in Brunei, but now I've only got about a week and I hate it when time sneaks up on you like that 'cause now I'm panicky and rushy and crazy.

Only time will tell. Time will turn and tell.

I need a countdown!

Days remaining: 8

Oh, shit. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand The Used have a new album?!?!

That's cool.

But you know what isn't cool? Living a never-ending tale of darkness that only seems to ever go in circles, and having perhaps the only source of light you'd ever experienced abandon you like everyone else.

Feeling: Blue
Listening to: In Shallow Seas We Sail by Emery

In my inactivity, I failed to realise that Emery have a new album out! As soon as I found out, I quickly broke the law and that's why I'm listening to it now. They are fucking amazing. ♥

If that isn't enough of a reason to make your day, Saosin have released a new album as well!

New albums by awesome bands are exciting.

Like newborn babies!

She finally and gracefully exited her mother's womb yesterday afternoon, and a few hours later, she became the newest baby I'd ever held. Babies are just so amazing. With their tissue paper skin and new everythings, it's belittling to think a whole new life that is going to grow and experience and think can be created from two separate and tiny cells.

There is something fascinating about the world, and it wouldn't make sense to say all of this beauty and order is occurring because of mere chance.

And the universe is larger than we can imagine.










And we are tiny.

Feeling: Snorey
Listening to: The Future Freaks Me Out by Motion City Soundtrack

I have spent a ridiculous amount of hours at RIPAS hospital doing mostly nothing for the last couple of days because of a stubborn and/or shy unborn niece who will not leave my sister's belly! It's about a month early so this is just proof that I am meant to see this child with my own two eyes (before I leave Brunei) instead of using my imagination (because we all know how over-reactive and unrealistic it can get).

But for now, I have got to go to sleep! I forgot to do my editing and I already missed last week's publication because I was busy learning to surf (Yes, I am a surfer now. I have a shark tooth necklace and everything (I am so cool).) and walking along sandy beaches (because beaches are sandy) and hole-infested sidewalks (I'm so American) and nearly touching the sky whilst sitting in a rubber ring (True story), so I'll have to wake up early to do that (Long sentences are awesome). Or I could die (Not really). But I'm having mixed feelings about the latter option, so I may just leave this up to chance.

Sleep well, people who need to (Everybody, get your brackets on!).

I sometimes feel like I'm losing my mind. But I've always wondered, are you still crazy if you know you're crazy?

Feeling: Peaceful
Listening to: Shot Down by Nine Black Alps

I believe I owe you an explanation. At least, I have this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that I do. But it could just be a tummyache, I sometimes get the two confused. :s Either way, you're not getting one (an explanation).

Sooo, what's everyone been up to? I've been flying around and falling out of trees and watching chickens poop. You know, the usual kind of things you do on holiday.

I think the Michael Jackson death pandemonium has resided quite considerably. So, now, it's my turn (Actually, I'm just awesomely good at procrastinating) to say that it is incredibly two-faced but strangely necessary of the media to be so cruel to him when he was alive, and then abruptly highlight what a crazily talented man he was when it's too late. Now, they say people will remember him for his dance and music, after constantly shoving multiple accounts of Whacko Jacko stuff down our throats. *Shakes head. It's rather strange how people are so interested in the lives of people they don't know. But I suppose it fits perfectly in a crazy world like this. As people I've never met say, good golly gosh. Good golly gosh, indeed.

More importantly, they should have a For Dummies book for Life. That would be really helpful, and I think it could quite possibly be one of the best selling books ever. After the Bible.

Despite what Blogger may say, it is actually 12 minutes past 3 in the morning. I shall, thus, be retiring to my quarters in the minutes to follow. I bid you adieu. *Melts into a puddle of goo.

(I was going to say something else but the internet died and I forgot. :[)

Feeling: Ngaaaargh
Listening to: My Side Of Homicide by Endwell

What the fuck? That is what I say. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?

:[

Feeling: Hungry
Listening to: Paper Wings by Rise Against

It's been a while.

I've watched you fly on paper wings half way around the world, until they burned up in the atmosphere and sent you spiralling down, landing somewhere far from here with no one else around to catch you falling down. And I'm looking at you now, and I can't tell if you're laughing; between each smile, there's a tear in your eye.

Feeling: Cool
Listening to: End by Endwell

Last night, I had 1,013 e-mails in my spam folder which I promptly emptied. That is a lot of spam.

But more importantly, today, I wake up to find an ant crawling around on the screen of my laptop. I try to brush it away only to learn it is actually inside my screen. I thought I was going crazy and tried various methods of removal (like chasing it with the cursor), but it seems to have left of its own accord, probably to become some kind of superant (because of all the crazy stuff that goes on inside computers) so as to torment me even more than normal ants do.

Which is only one reason why I have been finding ants particularly annoying lately. They're such assholes. I demand a ban of their existence!

And this was just after I'd discovered something good about them (They eat dead things like lizards). *Sighs. They seem to enjoy terrorising me with this inhumane way of giving me hope then abruptly taking it away. :[

Feeling: Interesting
Listening to: We're So Far Away by Mae

I forgot to breathe out. *Exhales.

The night came down and swept us away, and the stars, they seemed to paint the most elaborate scene.

I don't know what it is about birthdays, but they affect me in such strange ways.

And now, I am older than I was 48 hours ago, but I don't feel any different. Maybe it's a good thing. :]

Ask me my age and see if I punch you.

It's so close, but we're so far away.

That was one hell of a deep breath.

Feeling: Pooped
Listening to: The Magnificent Seven by The Clash

I baked for five consecutive hours today. I didn't know it could be so tiring. But it's okay 'cause I'm cool.

Shiiiiiiiiiiit. *Takes a deep breath.

PS. Kgheweksdcfeahtwnsaasner, hehayetmuidfkeuuny bmyeserhaaattku dlaewencdganahenun kkfeherjuingnfhdtauheaannki kwheurplaaifdedawm aahnprdgeaeh.

Feeling: Fishy

Sometimes I wonder what I would be doing right now if I had made different decisions in the past.

Would I be a totally different person than who I am today? Or would all possible choices eventually lead me to where I was always meant to be?

Who is God? And what does fate look like?

I am the walrus.

Feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: Just Impolite by Plushgun

I just remembered the whole time difference thing and thus, realised the last two posts were in UK times. This one should be right though. 'Cause I changed it. Yeah. (Actually, I think all of my posts changed their times. Insane shizz this is.) Remind me to change it back when I go all crazy with travelling once again.

I called your line too many times. I'm not obssessed, just impolite.

I have a couple of songs I would like you to listen to, but I don't think I'll tell you what they are right now. It makes me feel like I still have some sort of power over this thing. Which I do, of course. I am just stalling.

My ear has been blocked ever since I shot water into it by accident in the shower. And I think that's a perfect note to end this post on.

Feeling: Weird
Listening to: Penelope by Saosin

What the hell is this stupid thing that makes me feel terrible?

What the hell, indeed.

Feeling: Bubble-like
Listening to: I Am The Walrus by The Beatles

Well, will you look at that? My last (many) couple of days in the United Kingdom were very intense and tiring, giving reason for the 70.4167 hour delay of the "surprise" which you may have already guessed was the arrival of myself in Brunei (Surpriseeeee! Don't pretend to not be gasping in shock and incredibility.). And lucky for you, those very intense and tiring last (many) couple of days in the United Kingdom sprouted some life-changing adventures that I would love to tell you all about in bullet-point form and thus, shall:

1. I went to Bath (the place) and stayed at my first Bed and Breakfast, which amazingly served breakfast like the name suggests.
   
2. Packed away all my things into boxes and suitcases.
   
3. Transported all those boxes and suitcases to the storage place by walking them to the bus stop, catching a bus to Central Station, walking them to the storage place, and then again in reverse.
   
4. Five times, because taking a taxi would have been too expensive when a day's worth of bus rides was only £3.
   
5. This was very torturous and gave birth to lots of strangely placed and sized bruises (Pictures may be provided on request. You may want to see them, they have amazed every person lucky enough to witness their beauty.),
   
6. Which made me look so pathetic and sad, strangers had to offer me their help (which I, naturally and thankfully, accepted),
   
7. One of them being a cameraman for BBC named Guy who used to work in Kuala Lumpur (Don't know why I had to mention that),
   
8. Who pointed out how bad it would have been if it was raining. :O
   
9. All before 6PM on the 2nd of June so I could go home, pack my suitcase and catch a train at 10PM on the same day.
   
10. Little did I know, I had to pre-pay four weeks of my storage time, and by now, I had, coupled with borrowed money, £40. So, I had a little internal panick attack, but thank goodness my mother loves me.
    
11. I caught my train, but it got delayed at Bristol by 25 minutes, making the possibility of me catching my train to Reading impossible, but I hoped and prayed that by some amazing happening it would get there in time anyway.
    
12. Which it did!
    
13. But I still watched as that stupid train to Reading left the station 6 minutes early, leaving me at Exeter St. David's train station for 4 hours from 1:10AM to 5:10AM,
    
14. A station which was cold and empty except for the cleaners and my lovely self.
    
15. And this, of course, meant I wouldn't be able to get to Heathrow by 8:30AM.
    
16. Which meant I would miss my flight.
    
17. I tried to contact my travel agent (Hehehehehe), through other people because I had a low phone battery and no credit, to see if I could change my flight so I could decide what to do.
    
18. Confused, frustrated, exhausted, sweaty and battered, I tried to stay awake until 5:10AM so I could get on the next train to Southampton where I was kindly given shelter until I had a new flight to Brunei confirmed.
    
19. Which may have been a blessing in disguise because I got some extra time with people, and experience more things. Also, my suitcase was, clearly, overweight and this gave me a chance to leave some things in Southampton for various fates to follow.
    
20. I left Southampton at 11PM on the 5th to get to my flight on time which was leaving Heathrow at 8:40AM on the 6th.
    
21. I rushed to the bus stop only to realise I'd left my laptop in Sofie's room, but out of panic, jumped on the bus anyway.
    
22. We reached London at 1AM, but spent a long time walking around, trying to find the right bus stop and train station.
    
23. Which we eventually did, but, unfortunately, it involved a two hour wait in the cold, inhumane London Paddington train station.
    
24. 4:42AM finally arrived, and we got on that train to Heathrow, fell asleep, and by some miracle, I woke up as we reached our stop.
    
25. I went to check-in, but I was still somehow 2KG overweight, so the mean lady made me shuffle my things around and line up again when I was done.
    
26. At last, after many onflight meals (How many times do they have to feed us?!), I reached Brunei, and thus, marked my first ever successful (by trial and error) air travel alone.
    
27. But, still, the immigration guy stole a space in my passport by gaving me the wrong stamp, so I had to go back in after I thought I was done with all this travel business. *Sighs.

And yet, the only thing I've achieved so far is eating dim sum, kuey tiaw and Mexican food (Hahahaha), watching TV, Little Miss Sunshine and The Animation Show, part I, and sleeping way more than I should. :D

But enough about me. It's important for you to know that I wouldn't have survived those last (many) couple of days without the people whose sleep (and study time) I thoughtlessly grabbed from them. I am not as independent as I seem (Hahahahaha) and things so clearly go wrong whenever I'm left alone, so I owe the cucur pisang, panda, unicorn and mother a (few many lots) big, gigantic, love-filled hug for not leaving me alone for that long.

I am he as you are he as you are me, and we are all together.

(This post is way too cluttery and hard to read, which is weird because it's in bullet-points.)

PS: Ierkgraasnwe mgeaasngrgdfgvfahe smyesenxddqwshr kseixbssesjteldsse.

Listening to: She's Always A Woman by Copeland

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes. She can ruin your faith with her casual lies, and she only reveals what she wants you to see. She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me.

She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you. She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe you. And she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free. She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me.

Oh, she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time. Oh, well, she never gives out, and she never gives in. She just changes her mind.

She'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden. She'll carelessly cut you, and laugh while you're bleedin'. But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be. Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me.

Oh, she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time. Oh, well, she never gives out, and she never gives in. She just changes her mind.

She's frequently kind, and she's suddenly cruel. She'll do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool. She can't be convicted, she's earned her degree. And the most she will do is throw shadows at you, but she's always a woman to me.

Days remaining: 2

Feeling: Exhausted
Listening to: 99 With An Anchor by A Thorn For Every Heart

Funny story, but the bottom line is: I have managed to get sunburnt.

And and and and and and and and and and and nevermind.

I must remember that there are times when I cannot splatter my heart out because it can be both embarrassing and dangerous. *Nods with approval.

Days remaining: 3

Feeling: Awesome
Listening to: The sound of freedom

My fingers hurt, I ran out of time, my heart is going to exhaust itself, and I have all this information I want to forget, but I am finally fucking done, bitches (I swear out of excitement. I didn't mean that; you're not bitches)!

*Runs around naked.

Days remaining: 8

Feeling: Indifferent
Listening to: The Crimson by Atreyu

How would you feel if you found out you were part of a surveillance culture where every e-mail, telephone call, fax, or radio transmission is monitored by a government that, ultimately, is only concerned about itself? Where you are led to believe you are practically a free person worthy of privacy, only this "freedom" consists of living in a cage with CCTV cameras everywhere and a number of little guard rooms to the side? You have the ability to escape, but you just don't know it because those that have authority constantly reproduce this image of dominance, creating the illusion that it is natural and cannot be any other way. After all, if you knew the truth, it would jeopardise the accomplishment of the things they want, and that is oh-so-important.

I'd think it was kind of messed up. And maybe I'd go through another one of those phases where I'm angry at the world and everything it stands for. But then I'd realise that not everything is bad, so I shouldn't really be angry at the world, per se, just at those fuckers who make me lose hope in humanity and the idea that freedom can actually exist. Hehehehehehehehehe. I said "fuckers".

But anyway, if you have the time, you might enjoy looking up "Echelon" and "Carnivore" (I've given you a head start there). Then, you can tell me how you feel about it, and perhaps we can burn some buildings down together out of frustration?

(This is one of the topics for my Representations module, so technically, I'm studying!)

Days remaining (a): 2
Days remaining (b): 10

(a) Representations exam
(b) The surprise

Listening to: 21 And Invincible by Something Corporate

Some days go by, I wish I was famous, or maybe religious so I could go to heaven, just like you.

Still listening to it. I tried changing it, but no other song seems adequate enough today. :]

Can't wait to screw this up.

Days remaining (a): 2
Days remaining (b): 10

(a) Representations exam
(b) The surprise

Feeling: Invincible
Listening to: 21 And Invincible by Something Corporate

I can't wait to turn 21 just so I can listen to this song on repeat the whole day without feeling irrelevant. :D

I think I've come to terms with getting old. There is no way of avoiding it, and everyone goes through it, and eternal life potions and/or spells don't work these days. So, you know. I guess it's okay to grow up. For now.

But first, I have to frikkin' whoop ass at this exam I have on Tuesday (If you see me online, or sense I am online (because a lot of the time, I am just appearing offline), please give me a virtual slap, or an IOU for a real one because I shouldn't be doing such silly things like procrastinating when I have more important things to tend to).

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 11

(a) Representations exam
(b) The surprise

Feeling: Hungry
Listening to: The Mixed Tape by Jack's Mannequin

Some things for you to laugh at, because I did:

On the M103 bus
Small boy: So abortion isn't like killing, it's like stopping?
Small boy's mother: Yes, honey... It's all very complicated, but, some people think that a baby can't be killed when it's inside the womb because it's not really a baby yet.
Small boy: So, it's not a baby till it's out?
Small boy's mother: That's right.
Small boy: And then we can kill them?

At the Donut Plant
Jersey man, describing doughnuts to his daughter: And this one has so much chocolate... so much chocolate it will turn your skin brown!
Brown-skinned employee: Um, that's not true.
Jersey man: Look at this guy! He used to be Swedish!

In the bathroom of Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Mother: Honey, are you done going potty?
Three-year-old daughter: Meeeeahh oooh gruuuu.
Mother: Are you speaking whale again?

At Brooklyn Heights
Hipster guy #1: Last night I started fighting with someone.
Hipster guy #2: Are you serious? I'm always fighting other people. Cause y'know, that's the only thing you can do besides kiss them.
Hipster guy #2: This one time I accidentally kissed someone and I was like "Eewwwww".
Hipster guy #1: Ewww.

At the Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Little girl: Christmas is next!
Mother: No, first is Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas.
Little girl: And then we die!

At Au Bon Pain
Woman #1: Yeah, I tell ya, my baby's daddy has been the biggest jerk in the world lately.
Woman #2: Will you stop calling him that! He's your husband. You married him like 5 years ago.

On the C train
Drunk hipster #1: Yeah... Snort cum.
Drunk hipster #2: How could I snort cum? It's impossible!
Drunk hipster #1: Nothing is impossible.
Drunk hipster #2: But it's so sticky. I really don't think that's possible... Unless maybe it was in powder form.
Drunk hipster #1: Wow! We're those guys on the train everyone wants to shut up.

The things you overhear in New York!

(This took me about two and a half hours to post. Score!)

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 12

(a) Representations exam
(b) The surprise

Feeling: Anxious
Listening to: You're Not Alone by Saosin

In the words of the Little Engine that Could, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

T-minus 15 hours and 41 minutes. Time to get my game face on.

Oh, freedom. You are so close, I can smell you.

(I want that 7lb wheel of Double Gloucester cheese! And I think I have burnt my tongue.)

Days remaining (a): 1
Days remaining (b): 5
Days remaining (c): 13

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Feeling: Drowsy
Listening to: Mobscene by Marilyn Manson

I'm bored.

Rolling down a hill for cheese, anyone?

Yes, please.

I don't like exams very much. Ngaaaaaaaaaargh. I think I might... *Dies suddenly.

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 7
Days remaining (c): 15

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Feeling: Giggly
Listening to: All The Pretty Ones by The Exies

I walked into my kitchen this morning to find a pretty little note:

The practice of throwing eggs throughout the stairwells and landings of this block must stop. The next time this happens, the whole block will be charged for the extra cleaning.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. No wonder the stairwell smelt so bad.

Days remaining (a): 7
Days remaining (b): 11
Days remaining (c): 19

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Feeling: Unproductive
Listening to: Talk Shows On Mute by Incubus

I couldn't stand it, and ta da!

It's based on the concept of a layout I made ages ago but couldn't use because of the feud between Firefox and Internet Explorer, so this took about an hour to get right. Punk pandas!

WHY CAN I NOT STUDY? (Don't say because I get distracted easily, because that's the obvious response. I'm looking for something different. Starting... NOW!)

Days remaining (a): 8
Days remaining (b): 12
Days remaining (c): 20

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Listening to: Mercury Rising by From Autumn To Ashes

Every breath that I exhale is a sigh. Every breath that I exhale is a sigh of exhaustion. How sad, this is what your life has been reduced to - a single room apartment containing no more than a mattress. The strings have been removed from the blinds and all the outlets have been painted over. The television screen is streaked with blood smeared from your knuckles as you were trying to punch it out but you underestimated its strength, or maybe you just weren't trying hard enough. Startled by a knock at the door, you rise for the first time in two days to answer, but you can only greet the visitor with one short statement: "Hello, my first name is distance, and I really don't care if I never wake up again." Hello, my name is distance and I really don't care if I never wake up again. Hello, I really don't care if I never wake up again. I really don't care if I never wake up again.

I'm thinking Broken Smile is sick of this layout. What do you say, bucko?

Days remaining (a): 9
Days remaining (b): 13
Days remaining (c): 21

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Bore da!

Sue-Anne ydw i. Pwy ydych chi? Mae'n dda gen i gwrdd a chi. Sut wyt ti heddiw? Da iawn, diolch. Ti'n swynol. Dw i ddim yn deall. Siaradwch yn arafach, os gwelwch yn dda. Mae dy llygaid di mor gwinau. Ti'n hen cariad bach. Ga'i sws? Dwi'n hoffi ti. Galw'r heddlu! Mae fy hofrenfad yn llawn o lyswennod. Cymru am byth! Y Ddraig Goch ddyry gychwyn! Cer o 'ma.

Hwyl!

Days remaining (a): 10
Days remaining (b): 14
Days remaining (c): 22

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

I want to roll down a hill.

Right now.

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 15
Days remaining (c): 23

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

Feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: Bitemarks and Bloodstains by Finch

Mozilla Firefox was annoying me so I got rid of it and replaced it with Google Chrome. I feel like I betrayed it somehow and sold my soul to Google. I also tried to uninstall Windows Internet Explorer since that is another internet browser that gets on my nerves, but I soon realised that that is impossible. :]

It's 4:30AM and I'm not sleeping because I didn't do any work all day and I'm trying to force myself to do something productive. But it's, obviously, not working because here I am blogging about how I spent the last hour rearranging my computer.

Which reminds me, for some reason. I made cheesy pasta for dinner because I'm trying to watch what I eat so I don't have any leftovers when I leave, and it was really good so I was just stuffing it in my mouth. And then I saw a bug stuck to one of my pastas, on its back, wriggling its feet in the air. :[ Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I've been wanting to eat cereal for ages, but I've been too lazy to buy milk. :p I was going to do it this evening after I had a shower, but then I remembered it was Sunday and Tesco closes early on Sundays. I don't know what that means for me. Perhaps I will shrivel up like a prune. I think that could be nice.

I wonder what it would be like to be seedless and eaten by old people with egestion problems.

I have a feeling I will read through this sleepy nonsense in the morning (Not that I will wake up in the morning, considering how sdlfksldknf I am being right now with my alarm-immunity and whatnot) and delete this. Here's to delete-able memories.

Iechyd da (Cheers)!

(I've been trying to learn Welsh phrases, but they're really hard to pronounce. :[ *Sighs.)

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 15
Days remaining (c): 23

(a) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(b) Representations exam
(c) The surprise

If a black man is racist, is it okay, if it's the white man's racism that made him that way?

Days remaining (a): 2
Days remaining (b): 13
Days remaining (c): 17
Days remaining (d): 25

(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Socety reflection
(b) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(c) Representations exam
(d) The surprise

Feeling: Sick
Listening to: Careless Whisper by Seether

I never realised how sad this song is.

Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd. Maybe it's better this way, we'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say. We could have have been so good together. We could have lived this dance forever.

These Easter holidays, I have:

1. Been to Keele, Ludlow, Shrewsbury, Ironbridge and Southampton.
   
2. That means I met Eleena, Hafiy, the Salmons, Sofie and Jin.
   
3. Been to Alton Towers again.
   
4. Been to Waterworld.
   
5. Which resulted in a 14-year-old boy following me around and eventually asking me out. (I declined, if you were wondering)
   
6. Had the second part of my train ticket fall out of my pocket.
   
7. Thus, riden on the train without a proper ticket. (This involved pretending to sleep whenever the ticket man passed by)
   
8. Helped with the robbery of three Starbucks mugs.
   
9. Snuck into a screening of 17 Again.
   
10. Watched the Blockheads live.
    
11. Which means I've been to my first real gig.
    
12. Ate proper sushi for the first time.
    
13. Won a free apple pie and hot drink at McDonald's. (Which I still haven't claimed)
    
14. Sat in the bathroom with someone who was upset.
    
15. Watched 17 Again, Secret Window, Identity, Taxi Driver, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Fast and Furious, An American Haunting, Quantum of Solace, The Duchess, Thick as Thieves, 3:10 to Yuma, and various episodes of Ultimate Fighter, CSI and Green Wing.
    
16. Been taught how to kick. (And gotten kicked in the ankle really hard :[)
    
17. Eaten Krispy Kreme doughnuts for the first time.
    
18. Discovered coleslaw and salmon (both food I didn't like) are actually quite nice.
    
19. Been told off for taking a picture of a picture.
    
20. Watched live horse-racing.
    
21. And in the process, made friends with a horse named Hoh Nelson. (He came second in his race 'cause I am cool)
    
22. Also made friends with a big rabbit named Ben.
    
23. Walked around a cemetary just because.
    
24. Met a lady in Shropshire who used to work for Royal Brunei Airlines.
    
25. Ate homemade nasi lemak, beef rendang and sambal. :D
    
26. Discovered my mum reads (one of?) my blog(s).
    
27. Because she admitted to reading one of the posts to her friends when they were all feeling depressed because of an unfortunate and horrible event.
    
28. Ate chocolate eggs.
    
29. Jammed my finger in a door.
    
30. Danced in bedrooms. (Of people I don't know very well)
    
31. Been rejected from two volunteer jobs.
    
32. Used my laptop on a train for the first time.
    
33. Met a nice 40-year-old guy with dreadlocks and a PSP that works with setting up, taking down and transporting the big theatre productions that tour the UK who told me to chase my dreams. :]

Considering the Easter holidays ended 17 days ago, I was meant to post this relatively sooner than I have, but... I... didn't. :]

I would tell you what I've been up to since then, but I'm going to make you guess instead 'cause it's more fun that way. :D Enjoy! (Hint: It was lovely for many reasons.)

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 14
Days remaining (c): 18
Days remaining (d): 26

Guilty feet have got no rhythm.

(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Socety reflection
(b) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(c) Representations exam
(d) The surprise

(I may have gone a little overboard with the countdowns.)

Feeling: In pain
Listening to: Get Your Riot Gear by Five Iron Frenzy

It took me a really, really, really, really, really, really long time (REALLY long), but I finally settled on question 8. :]

And that is basically everything I have accomplished today. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

I need to go grocery shopping. And I was thinking, since, you know, Tesco (whom I have learned, if I have learned anything at all throughout my first year at university, is evil) is 24 hours, I should go do that errand right now. To make full use of the place. Because it is the right thing to do.

But anyway, while I was away, I was possessed by a magical creature...

The Snake
The snake slides under my skin, into my nails and out of my nose.
It travels within, I feel its scales and its body like a hose.
It bites sometimes, and the venom does burn but I am still like a stone.
As sour as limes, forever will it churn, itching my blood, flesh and bone.

Oh, snake, why can you not keep still, must you twist and turn like so?
But yes, it is your maker's will, for you have sinned, you have let go.
I want a hot chocolate.

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 29
Days remaining (c): 33

(a) Submit 2,500 word Media, Power, Society essay
(b) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(c) Representations exam

Feeling: Annoyed
Listening to: Listening to Freddie Mercury (Acoustic) by Emery

1. Citizen rights to freedom of speech are best protected by a market-based mass media. Discuss.
   
2. In the preface to A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy in 1859, Karl Marx wrote: "It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existance, but their social existance that determines their consciousness." How and to what extent do you think the concept of ideology can help us to understand media power today?
   
3. What are the democratic implications of turning the news into a profit-generating commodity like any other in capitalist society? Answer with reference to Herman and Chomsky's Propaganda Model of mass communications.
   
4. In what ways do you think the capitalist media is in crisis and what evidence exists to suggest otherwise?
   
5. What do you think are the most useful theories to explain where power lies in the relationship between the media and their audiences and why?
   
6. How can the news media be democratic when they are still primarily written by and for powerful white men? Discuss.
   
7. Do contemporary representations of race in the UK news media invite audiences to view ethnic minorities as British citizens? Illustrate with examples from the news media.
   
8. In what ways does social class impact on the ownership and contect of the media and with what consequences?
   
9. Online news is slowly becoming more closely aligned with the "attractive wrapping" of commercial television, when... it needs to reaffirm a stronger commitment to the public service ethos of the investigative press and broadcaster. Discuss.

2,500 words. Less than twelve days. Help me choose! :O

It seems I have grown an immunity to self-discipline. For one thing, I keep finding myself lying in bed, sleeping through lectures and seminars, and then I realise I can't work with an internet connection. So, today, I unplugged the Firewire in order to concentrate on picking my goddamn topic, and yet, the wire has still managed to find it's way into the socket on my laptop and I have somehow ended up on Blogger. *Shakes head disapprovingly.

Now, back to staring into space before I do something stupid and waste even more unnecessary time on the internet. :]

Days remaining (a): 12
Days remaining (b): 30
Days remaining (c): 34

(a) Submit 2,500 word Media, Power, Society essay
(b) Introduction to Media Communication exam
(c) Representations exam

I am feeling particularly cautious after having the background image for Broken Smile disappear mysteriously. I expect to find a ransom note sometime soon, most likely requesting an insane amount of money that I will no doubt pay as a symbol of my love for the dear background image. In the mean time, I have only a copy of the background image. Broken Smile will never be the same without the original, but all I can ask, cruel captors, is that you treat that wonderful background image with love and care. Please do not hurt it. :'[

I shall speak to you soon, children. Don't wander around alone at night.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 7

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Rushed
Listening to: Scene by Envy

I jammed my fingers in the door yesterday, and now, I have a blue, itchy, hurting middle finger.

And my butt is in pain because of Waterworld. :[

Oh, yeah. I'm on holiday. :D

And I am a bitter, bitter person.

I once Googled "How to be happy" and one of the suggestions that came up told me that we make a choice every morning we awake. We either decide to smile and be happy or be horrible the whole day. Today, I choose to be horrible. :]

Sometimes it's easier than trying to do the opposite.

Although, this is most likely more than 50% due to my raging hormones and various aching body parts.

So, who's in the mood for cheese? :D

Days remaining (a) and (b): 15

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Lazy
Listening to: Chariot by Escape The Fate

Today, when I got back from my lecture at 1:30PM, I sat in front of my laptop with the intention of beginning my Communication essay. It is now 1:49AM, and I have basically accomplished nothing. I am sleepy and my eyes are finding it rather difficult to stay open. I've opened up my Word Document and stared at it for a while, thinking that now's the time I start, but of course I don't. I don't know how to start it, and that makes me Google "how to begin essay on advertising" or "how to write university essay", but all I got were those websites where you pay them to write your essay. I began to think it was a sign, that maybe I should accept their offer and just take the easy road, as they often call it.

WHEN SUDDENLY!

A beam of light shone through my window and the next thing I knew, I was in China. Surrounded by thousands of busy Chinese people, the only thing I could do was go in the direction of the crowd, and that's what I did. Strangely enough, I ended up in a gorgeous rural village in Greece. It was beautiful, but the people there couldn't understand my accent, whatever that is.

I should stop now because I just realised that I am procrastinating yet again and still not doing my essay. AHHHHH. I will be my own demise.

That means, of course, that this amazing tale will have to be one of those annoying ones you find ending with "To be continued..." only to discover in the most tragic way possible that they never will.

Today's question to consider: Who am I?

Days remaining (a) and (b): 26

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Could I be any more stupid? Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 31

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Annoyed
Listening to: Away From You by The O.C. Supertones

I have never wished Broken Smile a happy birthday before because I always forgot about it. I thought this year would be different, having actually looked for the date this time, but alas, I am two days too late, hahahaha. That wasn't very funny.

Anyway, fucking cunt bitch asshole shit dickface boob. :[

This should cheer you up (by you I mean me):

"I always cook my faggots ahead and then warm them up when I wish to eat them. This allows the flavours to intensify and makes the faggots richer." - Click

Last week, I learnt that faggot is a Welsh food. Hehehehehe. Rhyfeddol (I Googled that. It is Welsh for "wonderful")!

Lord, I just don't understand this strange creature you call man.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 31

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Funny
Listening to: So Contagious by Acceptance

Well, that was weird.

I was reading Stuart Hall's work on "Othering" for my Representations seminar on Wednesday, and I figured it was probably time I went to Tesco, just to get that grocery shopping off the list of things to do. Now, the weird thing about it was that I spent a while wriggling the cursor around the screen, trying to find the pause button. Then, I stopped and thought "What am I doing? Why am I trying to pause my reading?" Hahahahahaaaaaaaa. So, that was weird. :] Maybe it symbolises my need to stop life for a while, take a deep breath, and then push play as I jump back in? Maybe even fastforward or rewind a little? :D Ey? Eyyy?

It seemed like a better idea to complicate things than to just say outright that I am a little cuckoo (pronounced kooh-kooh), but I don't know, what do you think? :]

Days remaining (a) and (b): 42

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Snorey
Listening to: From Crib To Coffin by Emery

Today, I reached a new level in my long and twisted relationship with toothpaste. :]

Having already experienced the wonders toothpaste can do to a person's eyes (numerous times), today, for some reason unknown to me (probably planned by the cupid and his love minions), I decided I was too lazy to put my toothbrush down when I wanted to fix my ponytail. I had just graced my toothbrush with that wonderful smooth, white, minty paste, so when I pulled my hand back down to brush my teeth, I noticed something was amiss and thought "I had more toothpaste on this before." I couldn't see anything in my hair or on my clothes, so I figured today is merely the day I decide to put a little less toothpaste on my toothbrush than usual. :]

If only that were the case.

About a few many hours pass, and I figure I'm going to go to bed soon and my head hurts, so it is time to untie my hair.

Lets just say, there was a beautiful chunk of toothpaste in my hair.

Hahahahahahaha (They say it is good to be able to laugh at yourself).

So, anyway, the bottom line is: My hair feels funny and I am now going to have a late night shower.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 43

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Mystical
Listening to: Black 7 by Soil

I realised I say "Don't worry" alot. Why do I do that? Hmm. Let's look at this in more detail, shall we?

First, we should look at the context in which I use this phrase. Research shows that the most common situations where the said phrase is utilised as a reaction is one where I am joking, or when people come to me for help. I joke more frequently than people come to me for help, so it seems appropriate that we concentrate on this "joke" area for now.

So, the question is: why do I say "Don't worry" in this joking way? Could it be that I am trying to hide the seriousness of the saying by covering it up with virtual laughter, or the typings of "Haha" and et cetera? If I am hiding something, what is it I am hiding? Is it more important that I am hiding something or the nature of what I am hiding?

To answer these questions in the amount of depth we need, we should look at two things:

(a) What am I hiding?

1. The fact that I have no better response.
2. The idea that there actually is something to worry about.
3. Aliens are watching us.

(b) Why am I hiding it?

1. I am ashamed.
2. It has become a commodity to me and so I did not know what else to react with.
3. I could not be bothered to think of a better response.
4. God told me to do so.

This is assuming, of course, that I am hiding something at all. So, if I am not hiding something, then we are back at the initial question of why I say "Don't worry" alot.

Reasons for this could include:

1. I am a robot and that is the panic phrase my creators gave me.
2. I am a superhero in a comic book and/or cartoon and that is my catchphrase.
3. I am actually just reminding myself not to worry because I am a chronic pessimist.
4. Everyone needs encouragement every now and then.

And so ends this investigation. Therefore, the reason as to why I say "Don't worry" in extremely high dosages is inconclusive until further research has been undertaken. Now, have a cupcake.

Days remaining (a) and (b): 44

(a) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay
(a) Submit 500 word Media, Power, Society reading response

Feeling: Gooey

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Sally (I hate it when people do that):


I think she needed to pee. Oh, and this is why she had that makeover. She's gunn' be a starrrr.

(Indeed, I have posted this on Youtube, Facebook and now, here. But only because I don't think Sally gets enough exposure and despite the rumours, she's a bit of an attention seeker. True story (I also hate it when people say this).)

(I only hate because I am jealous and try too hard to not be cliché when really, it's all I am made of. *Bows head down in shame. Weeeeee (I enjoy the fun using brackets creates).)

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 48

(a) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity
(b) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay

Feeling: Squiggly
Listening to: Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

It is nearly Broken Smile's fifth year of existing and I can gratefully say that since my first writing about how I didn't suit Livejournal, I have changed. To me, that change is rather apparent, but especially in the embarrassingly naïve and probably too-overtly-emotional-to-be-honest way I wrote, things I spoke of and manner of thinking.

There have been times when I wanted to get rid of this thing, change my URL, and delete all my old posts, but I stuck by its' side. There are probably millions of reasons why I have done so, but maybe one reason is because however stupid I have been (and I have been very, very, very, very, very, very stupid), I realise I have to come to terms with that - that I have been stupid - and there isn't anything I can do to erase what has happened (except perhaps get that time machine working).

Admittedly, I am extremely ashamed of some of the things I have done, but no amount of virtual editing or deleting can really get rid of the truth of what happened. I might not remember it as clear, and I may exaggerate things, or leave bits out, but floating somewhere amidst all that is the truth, and I think I like it floating aimlessly around like that. :] It's how I am.

I am just floating around, among all the other specks of dust caught in the wind, sometimes getting stuck in strands of hair or threads off clothes, but essentially, not knowing where I am going or where I want to go, only that I've attached myself to another and rather beautiful piece of lint, with no intention of ever letting go. ♥

Change can be good.

Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 48

(a) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity
(b) Submit 1,500 word Introduction to Media Communication essay

(Perhaps my days have been reduced to merely a list of countdowns. :p)

Why does peanut butter taste so good? :O

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 10

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: Kapoosh
Listening to: Blow It Away by Adema

This is for Azmin, and Azmin, as you can tell, the title stayed, hahahaha.

Talk of Miracles and Things
Dim light fills the darkest spaces,
and I see flickering beauty ahead.

The heart that was pulled from your chest now
lies clutched in your hands,
it is bruised and dripping blood
into a big, wet, crimson puddle.

Many times, I have tried to
fit it back into its place -
into that gaping hole that
flaps flesh in the breeze.
Many times I have tried to
heal those terrifying wounds
and keep you forever free from
the pain you never earned.

But of those many times I tried,
each time I only failed.
The cancer in me spread, yet
it was only you who could remove it.
And your wounds grew even more.
I had no wings to fly, yet
it was only you who held me high.
And your wounds grew even more.

And so, many more times I shall try again,
and many more times I may fail.
Your wounds may grow even more,
but justice will eventually prevail.

It is one thing to repeat a kindness
but to give what you never had...

That is nothing short of a miracle.
Everyday, you are a miracle.
I feel like I have been a horrible friend, and I admit, I often get caught up in my own world where nothing makes sense and I go crazy. So, here I am asking for forgiveness and perhaps a second chance at proving I can actually be kind of a little bit cool (Not naturally, only artificially and I take my tea with milk and sugar, please). Ahem. Would you like to be my friend? :]

Days remaining (a): 4
Days remaining (b): 10

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: Crazy
Listening to: Just Like Heaven by The Cure

I am sleepy, but I just wanted to tell you that I realise I should get back to wishing I was cool instead of wishing the world wasn't so horrible. :D Don't worry, it makes sense in my head. Hahaha.

Look what I did!

Were you ever a Boy or Girl Scout?
No, I was not.
What are your thoughts on dinosaurs?
Hmm. I don't know, man. I don't think about them that often, but I'm pretty sure that nobody alive knows for certain what they truly looked like or ate, everything we know about them is just based on theory and logic, and you all know how flawed that can be.
When was the last time you made/ate a s'more?
Some time last year. I want one now. Stupid survey.
If you were plotting world domination, what's the first thing you'd do?
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. I am so not going to answer this question and give away my awesome plan. You thought you had me fooled, didn't you, survey?
Do you ever feel like everyone is out to get you?
I don't do drugs. :p
Did you think monsters were hiding in your room when you were young?
No, I was just afraid of the lizards on the walls, hahah.
Do you watch the news or keep up with current events?
I didn't used to, and I still don't, but I'm better than I was before. :D
What kinds of presents did the Tooth Fairy leave you?
I wasn't lucky enough to have a tooth fairy. I think I was too ugly. :[
How do you eat your Oreo's?
I just bite them. It seems weird to separate them.
Do you donate your old clothes to Goodwill? If not, what do you do w/them?
I keep them in this big set of drawers at home, and sometimes, I go looking through them in hopes of finding something magical and maybe if I'm lucky, a little pixie dust.
If you were a crayon, what would you want to color?
Your face.
Don't you hate when you're eating a popsicle & suddenly taste wooden stick?
I don't usually taste wooden stick. I am immune to this defect. Unfortunate humans. Mahahahaaa.
When's the last time you used sidewalk chalk?
Does it have to be sidewalk chalk precisely? 'Cause I don't know if I ever used sidewalk chalk for writing on the sidewalk or just ordinary chalk. Is there a real difference anyway? Hmm. Now, that is something to think about. You do that while I think about peanut butter.
How would you feel about Billy Madison being in your class?
I thought he already graduated. So, I suppose I would be wondering what happened. Having said that, I don't believe he went to university, or maybe he did. Who knows, really? Who. Knows.
What time were you born?
I don't know anymore. You make me question myself. :'[
Estimate. About how many spam e-mails do you get each day?
Hahahaha. I thought that said sperm. To answer your question, I get hundreds. So, I shall estimate approximately perhaps 142, I guess.
The last movie you fell asleep while attempting to watch was:
I think it was a documentary on suicide. Anyway, it was some kind of movie I watched with Azmin 'cause I know I fell asleep on him because that's the only place to fall asleep when watching a movie.
Have you ever done any volunteer work? What was it?
Is it still volunteer work if you kind of had to do it? If yes, then I "beautified" a rural primary school in Malaysia, helped with the Brunei Open 2007, was a kitchen hand at a retirement home in New Zealand, and rescued people from burning buildings around the world everyday for twelve weeks. I am a wonderful human being. :]
Would you feel like a total loser if you couldn't find a job?
I guess. But come on, me? Loser? Psssssh.
Have you ever used the word "password" as a password?
No. But I always thought it was funny how when you entered your password into MSN wrongly and it said "Password is incorrect," so I typed in "incorrect" and it was still wrong. Hahahahaaaaa. Totally related.
Do you miss the Taco Bell chihuahua?
I did not ever get to experience Taco Bell, even less so the Taco Bell chihuahua. So, I suppose my answer is very much. I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how lovely it was.
Have you ever taken an IQ test? What was your score?
Yes, I've taken a few just because I'm narcissistic and cocky and bored. I thiink I got a 142 for the last test I took, but I'm pretty sure I just made that number up.
When you open your closet door, does a bunch of junk fall out?
No, but it probably would if I were still in Brunei. :D
Do you think Blu-Ray will take over DVD's, like DVD's did to VHS?
And like CD's did to Vinyl? And like MP3's did to CD's? Honey, this is all to do with capitalism and as such, commercialism. So, if the big production companies want to get rid of all the DVD's and replace them with Blu-Ray, then they are going to do it and we have no choice but to adhere. And because capitalists only want to make money, I say the answer is yes. Even though it would result in a huge amount of e-Waste toxic to the environment.
What do you think is the longest movie you have ever seen?
Titanic, but then again, I don't remember watching it. I think there's a more recent long movie, but I don't remember what that was. So, basically, my memory is failing me and I am old.
Have you been to a wedding where the couple ended up NOT getting married?
Only in my dreams where there are rainbows and butterflies.
When do you think Disney will stop squeezing out teen pop sensations?
Ahahahaha. Never. Or maybe when the young generation die out and mothers give birth to old people. Disney is a big corporation important to the structure of capitalist society. They can sell you anything, and since "teen pop sensations" are so easy to produce, why stop?
Have you ever driven a forklift?
Ohhh, I want to. I would drive it to class everyday and everyone will look at me in envy. It'll be a real "pussy wagon" and I shall call it Greased Lightning.
Do you call trees "naked" in the wintertime?
Hehehehehe. Well, they areeee. So very nekked.
Have you ever talked to a counselor/therapist? Did he/she help you?
Although there were times I felt that I should, I have never.
If you got pulled over, would you try and get out of the ticket? How?
Depends what I am being pulled over for. If I really didn't think I did anything wrong, then I would not want to go down just because some stupid power-tripping police officer says so. But if I clearly broke the law, then I shall take responsibility for my actions and accept the consequences.
Do you put more sugar than the recommended amount in your Kool-Aid?
I don't drink Kool-Aid. And frankly, I don't understand a drink that is made up of powdery sugar stuff and yet, still needs sugar to be added to it.
Have you read the Kurt Cobain journals?
No. OKAY. I GET IT. I'M A LOSER.
When was the last time you played in a monstrous ball pit?
I'm sorry, but what is thaaaaaaaaaaaaat? And how do I get one of these "monstrous balls"? :D
If you wrote a blog right now, what would you rant about?
How you are a bitch. :]
Have you ever fallen off of a treadmill?
I really want to though. One of my life ambitions.
Does your house make weird creeky noises at night?
Nope, no hardwood floors over here only cold cement ones. :O
Can you make out constellations in the stars?
Oh, I am very bad at doing that. I have a skewed view of the world, you see.
Do your grandparents know how to use computers?
My famous grandmother thought the computer was connected to non-existant cameras at the back of the house to spy on people. So, I somehow don't believe they do.
Any last words?
No.

I don't know when the last time I did one of these was... Hahahaha. Here's to old rituals! *Holds up wine glass.

Days remaining (a): 5
Days remaining (b): 11

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: Because by Across The Universe Cast

I just realised that "lush" is short for "luscious". Hahahahahahahahaha.

You kids and your shortening of words just to confuse us old people. *Waves hand dismissively.

Days remaining (a): 10
Days remaining (b): 16

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: Insane
Listening to: Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper

I was bored in one of my lectures today, and so, here is a video:


I think I could make a career out of this; become one of those Youtube stars. I've got some script-writing to do! Sally and me, we're gonna be huuuuuuuge.

Days remaining (a): 11
Days remaining (b): 17

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

I just realised I hadn't posted up my timetable for this term yet! :D It is so much fun, so here it is:

Monday:
11:10-13:00 | Representations | Law 2.27
13:10-14:00 | Introduction to Media Communication | Psychology 1.05

Tuesday:
11:10-12:00 | Introduction to Media Communication | Law 0.22

Wednesday:
10:00-10:50 | Representations seminar | Bute 1.27
11:10-13:00 | Media, Power, Society | Bute 1.xx

Thursday:
15:10-16:00 | Introduction to Media Communication seminar | Optometry 1.08

Friday:
10:00-10:50 | Media, Power, Society seminar | Bute 1.26

Days remaining (a): 12
Days remaining (b): 18

(a) Submit 2,500 word Representations essay
(b) Conduct Media, Power, Society seminar activity

Feeling: New
Listening to: Many Funerals by Eisley

Last year, I called the 14th of February Single Thursday and I looked in disgust at the soppy displays of romance and love and everything red and wonderful. 2009, however, is a new year, and I have but one message for only one person (or also for whoever wants it to be for them as well because you are lonely):


But aside from that, I feel like I owe you, the people of the internet, a more fulfilling and valuable contribution to the world. Something that will actually matter and perhaps bring us closer to beating the capitalist system we live in, eliminating the obvious inequality between people of different standards of living.

However, as I type this today, I get the feeling that we are not meant to do that. Men cannot change the world and Armageddon will inevitably come and in the morning, the grass will be green and the sky, blue. We will smile and think what a wonderful day it is, forgetting everything that seemed even remotely important the day before.

I once dreamed of changing the world. Now, it seems as if that concept is growing further and further away from possible by the minute. By the shovelful, we are digging this hole as big as we can and though there are times someone kicks the dirt back in, I don't know if I can do anything about it anymore.

I wish I had something nice to tell you. :] And, as it turns out, I do. So, I shall tell you the tale of the Leaf Outside My Window. What a lovely day!

Sally looked outside of her bedroom window and stared at the trees shivering in the cold. Autumn was here and it threatened to steal all of the leaves from their branches. Watching one of the few leaves still clinging onto life as it danced in the breeze, Sally thought about how sad it was that no matter how hard that leaf tried to stay on that branch, it would inevitably fall to the ground like so many had before it. As if that wasn't enough, she thought about how sad it was that all the leaves that once kept this tree warm and beautiful would simply be left on the ground, waiting to be trampled on by unsuspecting humans and then forgotten about as they rot on the ground, returning to the earth and completing the vicious cycle of life.

Hours merged into days and those days into months, Autumn had come and gone and now, it was Winter's turn. As the snow fell and began to cover everything in a beautiful, purifying, white blanket, Sally looked out of her window like she had so many days ago, and focusing on what seemed to be a naked branch, she spotted a leaf - a leaf that, despite the wind and the snow and the hail and the rain, had managed to stay with that branch and perhaps, make that tree feel a little bit less lonely than it would have. Sally smiled as she thought about how silly she had been to think that everything was destined for destruction and that the world was full of emptiness and too many things that come to an end. Sally thought about how wonderful it was that there was still hope in the world, and she knew that that was something to be happy about.

If you were wondering, Sally is indeed synonymous with me. :]

I think I just typed out a post that contradicts itself multiple times and that, coincidentally, symbolises myself today. Yay! Everything is circular (Hahahahahaha, oh, don't pretend you don't know what I mean).

I hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day, and if you didn't, don't worry too much. There is more to life than counting how many Valentine's Days you can stay single or friendless, or unappreciative of days with names (other than Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday), or so it seems. :]

(Today, I like the word, wonderful. It also took me an hour to type this. Sexy, isn't it?)

Feeling: Achy
Listening to: Battle For Middle Earth by Air Show Disaster

124 more days until...

You'll have to wait and see. :]

Feeling: Incriminating
Listening to: My Waltz For Newk by Iain Ballamy

I made a video!


In other news, it is sad when the snow melts.

Oh, and Happy Chinese New Year. Mine is/was happy. :p But I could be lying. Can you call my bluff? Answer now by calling 0800-DO-MOOSE-LIE and stand a chance to win an XBox 360 plus many more amazing items!

Listening to: Blackbird by The Beatles

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise. Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free. Blackbird, fly. Blackbird, fly into the light of the dark black night.

Touché.

Feeling: Sad
Listening to: Talk by Coldplay

I'm contemplating gradually turning this into a meaningful and inspirational rush of words, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. But not to fear, for I have a back-up plan! And it is an amazing back-up plan because it involves a bowl of fruit, some sheep, a little fire, and the best part, meeee.

But before that, I am sad because the weekend is over. I hate weekends because they have the ability to finish, and they are so much shorter than weekstarts. I don't have hot chocolate which means I can't drink coffee and that, along with the possibility of the modules being semi-boring, explains why I found myself falling asleep in lectures last week which makes my dislike for weekends grow even more. Furthermore, I waste a lot of time on weekends and that doesn't really help with my hating of the weekends very much either. But my hatred for weekstarts is greater. And they creep up on me every week right after weekends and it is just awful because I have to live through them to get to the weekends which are bad themselves, but not nearly as horrible as weekstarts.

Yes, I made up that word, weekstarts. But isn't it awesome?! :D And yes, I am feeling particularly bitter today and I may just as well have chosen weekends as my personal scapegoat.

Now, was there anything else I was meant to say or do? Okay, then. On with what's left of the weekend!

Feeling: Butterfly-in-my-stomach-y
Listening to: So Contagious by Acceptance

I have been listening to this song all day, and I feel great.

T-minus 49 minutes.

GAME FACE ON! >=D Rrrrrrrrrrrrr (That was the Game Face Grunt).

Feeling: Annoying
Listening to: Brand New Love by Deadsy

While doing things I wasn't supposed to be doing today, I finally came across this on Facebook:


Hahahahahahaha. I think there's a long/short story to this, depending on how you look at Azmin and his creativity, but the point is, I feel obliged to fulfill my duties and say, "If you aren't already a fan, let me invite you in for a friendly click." But I won't. ;]

Days remaining: 3

Feeling: Interesting
Listening to: Make A Run For It by Hit The Lights

Some days, I get this wonderful feeling that everything is going to be okay. But other days, I go back to being that curled up ball in the corner. And I guess, really, I have nothing to complain about.

Did I mention I hate the way life goes on without me? It makes me want to go back to Brunei so badly because I get the feeling I'm going to miss something really important. I want to be there, sharing every moment with them. And Kaiyisah's growing up too fast and saying words she couldn't say before. And that makes me sound selfish, but I never said I wasn't. It's a weird feeling because I've never felt this way about the other side, and right now, I realise how sad that is and how bad that makes me as a person.

I'm going to get water and put this tomato ketchup I stole back in the kitchen and then, I'm going to get into my bed and have trouble sleeping and dream those horrible dreams again. :]

Oh, how I miss you.

Days remaining: 3

I love my mummy and I miss her.

I have to sleep. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. *Dies.

Days remaining (a): 0
Days remaining (b): 2
Days remaining (c): 7

(a) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail
(b) History of Mass Communication and Culture exam
(c) Introduction to Human Communication exam

Feeling: Bored
Listening to: Emergency by Paramore

Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, woo, wooooo!

Hahahahahahahahaha.

Inside joke.

With myself.

Yes, "doing work" is really quite boring. Hence, the publishing of this pointless post (Alliteration! (Oh, man. There are so many times when I want to shout out random literary features but then I think it'll make me look like a loser so I don't)).

Which reminds me, because it is so related. I have somehow lost the countdown I had going. So, here it is, once again, by popular demand:
Days remaining (a): 3
Days remaining (b): 5
Days remaining (c): 10

(a) Submit 2,000 word Media Scholarship Research Trail
(b) History of Mass Communication and Culture exam
(c) Introduction to Human Communication exam

Feeling: Ngah
Listening to: My Side Of Homicide by Endwell

Something funny happened at the train station today, hahahaha.

But anyway, I have to do work. It's so... Sad.

Feeling: Moosey

I have to wake up in about 5 hours, but who's counting? (Me!)

I don't think my room likes me very much anymore. But how could I say such terrible things?!

1. I couldn't shower when I wanted to this morning (Okay, it was in the afternoon) because my shower drain has now decided to not suck any of the water in as quickly as would be convenient. This, inevitably, leads to the whole bathroom being flooded (even though my bathroom is tiny so it isn't really hard to do that). So, I had to use a mug to scoop the water from the ground and chuck it into the toilet bowl before I could cleanse myself of my dirty ways. It took me a while. :] But that isn't so bad, I guess. I mean, shower drains are bound to get clogged up eventually with all that gunk that gets caught in it, right?
   
2. There's also the ceiling which leaks, conveniently, above the foot of the bed. It wets my bedsheets, mattress and whatever is unfortunate enough to be sitting underneath it at random intervals. I tried to block it by sellotaping tissue paper to the place of leakage, but sellotape doesn't stick very well to my ceiling. And then, I find that the whole ceiling is wet, so I don't really know where exactly it's coming from. But okay, ceilings leak. It happens.
   
3. The drawer under my bed suddenly collapsed and so, now I can't push it in or pull it out properly and because of this, the two bottom drawers of my bedside table thing cannot be opened. That has, conveniently, prevented me from opening my underwear and sock drawer, so I have to think creatively (If you know what I mean). And I have no excuse for this one.

So, I guess you could say that's why I think my bedroom doesn't really like me anymore.

I can hear the water dripping from the ceiling as I type. *Sighs. Off to bed (sleeping bag) I go (I can feel myself falling asleep)!

But before I do, remember: Heaven is a place on earth (In my bellybutton :D).

(Yes, I have edited this in the little time it has been published online. Woohooo.)